From Zombos Closet

September 12, 2011

Enough With Mockumentary Gimmickry Already

JawsTo Whom It May Concern:

Please stop making mockumentary movies told through found-footage video.

Really. Please. Stop.

While it started as a creative and novel tool to boost audience anxiety levels and heighten dramatic effects, stretching the confines of a limited budget, its overuse has forced a predictable repetitiveness that now is clearly used only to trim budgets, lessen the cinematography burden, and shorten script development (aka, needing a full script that tells a complete story; aka paying for good writers).

Too often now an audience is tasked with piecing together a fragmented story from time-chopped snippets of supposed found-footage, comprised of interminable, ho-hum-boring, inaction inserted between herky-jerky-murky scenes flitting by, fast and furious, leaving audiences alternating between picking popcorn from their teeth or struggling to comprehend what’s happening.

It wasn’t like this in the beginning.

Cannibal Holocaust, The Last Broadcast and The Blair Witch Project were ground-breaking, scary, and enhanced by these techniques. By the time Cloverfield, [REC], and Paranormal Activity had arrived, the handheld camera as documentor absolute, had begun to stretch credulity by forcing us to assume a person, within the context of each movie’s situation, could constantly keep a handheld camera rolling in the most dire situations, disregarding personal safety, and even life and limb. Of course, in plots where a mockumentary is an integral stimulus for the story such as Troll Hunter, The Last Exorcist, and to a lesser extent, Diary of the Dead, it is easier to suspend disbelief because of their natural-use context .

But incessant hand-holding cameras have certainly jumped the shark with Apollo 18 and quite possibly Paranormal Activity 3. Can anyone honestly say these movies, and the other ones lined up in the queue, use the mockumentary and found-footage techniques because their stories demand such use and couldn’t be told in another way? Or has Hollywood and independent filmmakers resorted to using “found-footage” because it’s convenient for cutting corners in the production process and camouflaging their LESS as MORE from the audience? Certainly, in the case of the Paranormal Activity franchise, if forced to stay within the confines of its mockumentary format, we will be forced to view its continuing hauntings through kodachrome, kinetascope, and eventually daguerreotypes, respectively.

So where do we go from here?

I implore you to drop the gimmicky overuse of the mockumentary and found-footage formats from horror movies and return to telling stories in a more demanding but visually satisfying way (aka drop the cheapening shaky-cam and off action angles), with well-written scenes devoid of stupefying inaction to pad out the minutes, and with properly fleshed out characters whose revealing dialog holds our attention. And then sufficiently light  it all so we can see what the hell’s happening to them.

Please. Really. Stop.

Marketing Your Book And You Part 1
By Scott M. Baker

Skeleton_kneeling

What? You mean I spent a year writing my book, six months revising it, and three years getting it published, and you tell me that was the easy part?

Yup.

[NOTE: Of all the people I’ve talked to over the years in the publishing industry, most have stated that the average time to find a publisher is six years. Bear in mind, that’s the average. One mid-list SciFi writer who is now well established told me it took him ten years to place his first novel. So don’t get discouraged after your first dozen rejection slips. This is a long and ego-bruising process.]

It’s time for the harsh reality. Your novel is a product. In publishing, it’s competing with thousands of others just like it. If you’re lucky beyond your wildest dreams, you’ll hit a homerun your first time at bat like J.K. Rowling did withHarry Potter, or achieve the success Brian Keene did with The Rising and establish a wide following. However, more than likely, as with the vast majority of authors, you will have to struggle to build your reputation. You will have to make the readers aware that your book is out on the market, convince them to purchase a copy, and hope that they like it enough to come back for more and/or talk you about on their blog or Facebook/Twitter. Up until now you’ve spent all your time writing that first book. Now you have to spend just as much time marketing it if you ever hope to see your second book published. Trust me on this one – I’m speaking from experience.

[DISCLAIMER: What I’m about to say next is a generalization about the industry and does not hold true in each and every case. My publisher, Pill Hill Press, understands that it takes several years and several books for an author to come into his/her own, and is very nurturing in that process. However, I know of other publishers that I will not name that see their authors as resources to be exploited for their own gain. That is why, as I stressed in a previous blog, an author must be careful about who he/she contracts with and not feel as though they must take the first offer that comes along.]

Publishing is an industry. As in any industry, if you can’t turn a profit for the company, the company will let you go and find someone who can make them money. Publishers spend a certain amount to get your book into print in the anticipation that it will be popular and turn a profit. The industry closely tracks book sales. If the book doesn’t sell well, for whatever reason, and if it the publisher is not able to at least break even, then good luck getting them or anyone else to take a chance on your second book.

The good news is the rapid advances in e-publishing. Since the initial outlay to publish an e-book is so much less since the company does not have to worry about printing and shipping costs, the chances of your book turning a profit are greater. Conversely, your royalty on an e-book should be greater than with a hardcover or paperback.

Compounding the problem is the vast number of books on the market today. Gone are the days when a publishing house had a small but reliable cache of authors and would devote its time and resources to making them successful. Today, most publishers dedicate their limited public relations budget to those books or authors they deem most marketable, letting the rest of us fend for ourselves. Even those publishing houses that look after their authors include clauses in their contracts that require the author to take upon themselves much of the responsibility for marketing the book. It’s a fact of life of the industry today.

Years ago the author’s mantra used to be “Write or Die.” Today it’s “Market or Die.”

The good news is, marketing yourself and your book is neither costly nor difficult, and requires only a commitment of your time.

Since you have a product to sell, you need a place to sell it. So begin by setting up a blog. Don’t be too elaborate. The goal is to provide a forum to primarily discuss your writing, so everything that goes on it should be geared to that end. My blog layout contains the basics: a photo and brief bio of myself, links to my web presence and where to purchase my books, links to other websites I frequent, and banners to vampire- and zombie-related websites that have also provided links to my blog. As for your website, keep it simple. I recently closed down my old website because I was paying way too much for hosting it. My new site, which I am currently preparing, will contain bulk data (i.e. sample chapters from my books, book trailers, videos and photos) and links to my blog and Facebook/Twitter pages.

Before you begin, check out several blogs and websites for authors you like to see what they have done, then create your own. If the idea of setting up one intimidates you, don’t let it. There are several sites out there that allow the technologically-impaired to easily set up and manage a blog or website. Once you spend the time to create your blog and homepage, keep up with them. Try to post on your blog at least three days a week. If a potential fan clicks on your site and sees that it hasn’t been updated since the Red Sox won the last World Series, they won’t bother following you. It takes half a day at most to set one up and only a few hours a week to maintain it.

Also, be sure to keep the content interesting. Post updates about your writing, when you sign a contract or get published, any conventions or book signings you’re attending, etc. If someone reviews your work, link to their website and give them a shout out. And be sure to vary the content. If your blog is only about you and your writing, you’ll bore readers. Include postings that are fun or informative. I post the weekly Sunday Bunnies about my pets; reviews of genre books I’ve read and movies I’ve seen; and news about upcoming genre-related events. If the blog is all about you and how great you are, you’ll bore readers and lose followers.

My Halloween: Caffeinated Joe

NikDaveHalloween2009 Five questions asked over a glowing Jack o’Lantern, under an Autumn moon obscured by passing clouds…in between mouthfuls of candy corn…and coffie with Caffeinated Joe…

Why is Halloween important to you?

Well, first off, Autumn is my favorite season, so right off the bat, Halloween falls in the right spot. Second, horror films are my favorite genre, so it gets to be a win-win here. Just have always loved the crunch of leaves, the smell in the air, the sun setting earlier. Yeah, I know most people like it the opposite, but not me. Bring on the dark nights! From the spooky decorations, the TV specials and movie marathons, there really isn’t much that isn’t great about Halloween to me!

Describe your ideal Halloween.

Right now, an ideal Halloween involves my kids ending up in the costumes they want, whether they are hand made or store bought or a little of both. Them enjoying trick-or-treating and the Halloween parade in town is priority number one. But, once they are in bed, I situate myself in front of the TV and watch whatever horror goodness is airing. I do this all October, really, between AMC’s Monsterfest (or whatever it is called now), TCM’s classic films and whatever else is airing around the tube. Lots and lots of late nights every October! And I ALWAYS make sure to watch my favorite movie of all-time, Carpenter’s Halloween. I never tire of it.

What Halloween collectibles do you cherish, or hate, or both?

We have a bunch of stuff, Halloween-decoration-wise. We have a skeleton/ghost that descends while playing creepy music. Also have a haunted light-up village and other odds and ends. And I have horror movie stuff, collectibles from Halloween, Friday the 13th, etc. One of my favorites is a Jason mask I was given as a gift. Also have 1/4” scale Jason statue and a Michael Myers that plays the theme.

When was your very first Halloween, the one where “you really knew” it was Halloween, and how was it?

Well, I don’t remember my first Halloween. But I do remember my mother making our costumes and going as a clown one year. And then buying those Ben Cooper costumes, with the crappy masks that hurt and the ties that snapped after three houses. And coming home with a buttload of candy and swapping pieces out with my brothers and sister and cousins. And watching creepy shows on TV, including Charlie Brown.

What’s the one Halloween question you want to be asked and what’s your answer?

I don’t know. Maybe “What’s the oddest Halloween memory you have?” I would answer that one year, my brother, my sister and my cousins went trick-or-treating and then later that night going into the cemetery that was right behind our house. We walked all the way through to the far end, which was quite a walk. And they had this big religious statue. One of my cousins walked up to it and she pretended to be ‘entranced’. None of us were buying her act, but she laid down on the grass and then waited and when she stood she acted possessed. I have to admit, for a moment, my heart jumped. Not because of her non-acting, but just because of the mystery Halloween night has, especially being in a dark cemetery as the hours ticked closer to midnight!

I have no pictures of me from Halloween handy right now, but attached is one of my two younger kids from two Halloweens ago, at Disney World in Florida. My daughter is dressed up as Mrs. Lovett from Sweeney Todd and my son is dressed up as Ghost Charlie Brown from It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown. They got to trick-or-treat at Downtown Disney, which was a lot of fun, and then at my sister-in-law’s neighborhood, which was also fun – and warm, which was different, since we are from New England!

Thanks for letting me play!