From Zombos Closet

Crawlspace (2012)

crawlspace movie IMDB
ZC Rating: Good

I disagree with a few of the online critics that have reviewed this movie. While they cite likely plot inspirations from sources like Scanners, and Aliens, and Event Horizon, I would instead point to movies like The Power. In that 1968 movie (starring George Hamilton), members of a research group are killed off, one by one, through telekinesis, by someone within the group. Justin Dix, the director of Crawlspace (this is his first full-length movie), sort of uses the same scenario, just not as straightforward or as suspenseful.

Being a special effects supervisor, his direction perks up when the effects come into play, but you do notice a difference between those moments and moments without special effects. The dramatic interactions drag on a little too long, the recriminations and rebukes come a little too easily and are a little too volatile, and having an elite military unit, highly trained for special ops, so easily revert to behaviors usually exhibited by mercenaries is lazy scripting. So is having big guys squeezing through narrow air vents, that perennial movie and television trope that trims budgets and expediently moves people from point-here to point-there.

But this movie is called Crawlspace so the air vents make more sense here; and Dix, for his first go at a complete story does a competent job of telling and showing it. And there’s a killer gorilla; in my playbook you can never go wrong when you toss in a killer gorilla. What’s missing from Crawlspace is more surprises like that, and naming the mysterious woman “Eve” (Amber Clayton), who has amnesia and a nasty surgical scar on her head, is a giveaway to what’s coming.

Deep underground, in a maze of pathways reminiscent of those plastic mice habitats, military units are dispatched to handle a major crisis unfolding in a secret research facility. One unit comes across Eve, who doesn’t remember much, but unit leader Romeo (Ditch Davey), recognizes her as his dead wife (now not so dead, of course). Between bullets and running from danger the soldiers unravel into a frenzied mess of nerves and fears–the drill for horror movie dramatics. Eve begins to remember and Romeo fears that the most. We find out why Romeo is so guilt-ridden, but that’s after a fanatical scientist (what goes for mad these days) provides some explanation. Another fanatical and more dangerous scientist completes the story. Both scientists are treated to special effects scenes that are mind-blowing (for them) and gruesome for us. When Eve fully remembers, matters become much worse. The ending isn’t, so there’s plenty of room for a sequel.

While I agree with a few of the online critics that the movie rehashes the same hash, I disagree that this makes it a bad movie. It’s cooked with enough satisfying action and pulp science fiction thematics to make it worth watching. I just wish there were more killer gorillas. Now that would have been great.

A courtesy screening copy of this movie, on disc, was provided for this review.

Mexican Lobby Card: Day the World Ended

Roger Corman's fourth movie, The Day the World Ended. Note the card shows "Jorge Corman" as director, and there's a misspelling in "trmendo;" should be "tremendo." I also don't recall a woman running around in a skimpy outfit, especially with all the radioactivity outside. Pay particular attention to the positioning of the two men: one is fighting the monster, the other is holding a gun but facing away from the monster. In the middle is the woman. In this primitive and colorful illustration the artist has told us there's a villain, there's a monster, and there's a hero. Oh, and a beautiful woman caught in the middle. Sadly, this card holds more drama than the movie itself, and it also shows the plot quite well.

El Fin Del Mundo Mexican Lobby Card

Movie Pressbook: Tarzan’s Fight for Life

Tony Rivers, from the Classic Horror Film Board, guides us through the jungle one more time with Tarzan’s Fight for Life pressbook……Tony says: “Here’s the last of my Tarzan pressbooks (for now; still looking to get TARZAN’S HIDDEN JUNGLE again to replace the one I had), a 12 page MGM pressbook celebrating the 40th anniversary of Tarzan back in 1958. [The movie] has Jane (Eve Brent) and “Tartu” (shortened version of Tarzan2 or a new version of Boy) and native tribes causing unrest in the jungle. Tarzan to the rescue. Jil Jarmyn, who plays Ann Sturdy, lost out for the role of Jane to Eve Brent as they were the two finalists for the role. They made the right choice!”

Note: Due to a scanning faux pas, a line of text is repeated in the middle column on page 4. Oops.

tarzan's fight for life pressbook
tarzan's fight for life pressbook
tarzan's fight for life pressbook
tarzan's fight for life pressbook
tarzan's fight for life pressbook
tarzan's fight for life pressbook
tarzan's fight for life pressbook
tarzan's fight for life pressbook
tarzan's fight for life pressbook
tarzan's fight for life pressbook
tarzan's fight for life pressbook
tarzan's fight for life pressbook

Mexican Lobby Card: The Undead

The Undead is one of my favorite AIP movies. According to Wikipedia "The movie was filmed in a converted supermarket, and was completed in only six days. Its original title was The Trance of Diana Love. The bats that the imp and witch continually change into were left over from another Corman movie, It Conquered the World." This Mexican artist's version of the poster art adds more bats and less nightgown.

Los Muertos Vivos Mexican Lobby Card

Movie Pressbook: The Beast From
20,000 Fathoms Part 1

Here’s a nifty holiday treat: the 24 page, 11 x 17 inches, pressbook for The Beast From 20,000 Fathoms. Lots of promotional gimmicks for the theater and great ad mat art set this baby on fire. One amusing story concerning this movie, as told by Ray Bradbury, is how the producers forgot to include him in the payroll, especially since his short story, The Fog Horn, was the basis for the Beast. He let them know of their oversight, they quickly shot a check over with thanks.

the beast from 20,000 fathoms pressbook

the beast from 20,000 fathoms pressbook
the beast from 20,000 fathoms pressbook
the beast from 20,000 fathoms pressbook
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the beast from 20,000 fathoms pressbook
the beast from 20,000 fathoms pressbook
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the beast from 20,000 fathoms pressbook
the beast from 20,000 fathoms pressbook

DVD Review: Shilling Shockers Season 8: The Silents

Season8Threeshot
I croaked.

Zombos and Glenor Glenda, the maid, stared at me as I sat on my desk. Not at my desk, to be clear, but on top of it.

I croaked again. Glenor fainted.

Zombos reached long for the brandy. He gulped down two fingers worth and continued to stare down at me.  I tried to explain it wasn't my fault, but I could only keep croaking. In desperation I stuck out my long tongue, a weird feeling because it was rooted to the front of my mouth instead of the usual way, and snagged the paper under my right webbed foot. It stuck to the tip of my tongue as I held it up for him to read. He pulled it off, wiped the mucus off with his handkerchief, and read it out loud. What can I say, he was odd like that.

'Dear Zoc, it's been a dreadfully long time since we last sent you the DVDs for Season 8 of Shilling Shockers. Penny Dreadful is quite miffed and Garou is howling with annoyance. I'm sorry but we simply can't wait any longer for your review. And I don't know what Penny will do. Once she gets so worked up like this she zaps spells all over the place.  We lose more dreary ones and reviewers that way, which is so annoying, really. Yours Unruly, the Shilling Shockers Gang.'

Zombos finished reading and tucked the damp paper back under my foot. "So…you are telling me she turned you into a toad? Because you are tardy in reviewing Season 8 of Shilling Shockers?"

I croaked a yes, or something like that.

"I see." He paced back and forth. I continued croaking. Once you get the hang of it, it's kind of fun, actually. Zombos stopped pacing back and forth and devoted his energies to coaxing Glenor off the floor with a little brandy.

"Well, for one thing, we cannot let Chef Machiavelli see you like this, he will go for your legs," said Zombos.   

A fly landed on my desk. Before I realized what I was doing my tongue was out and back in, in a flash. Chewy buggers, but the wings melt in your mouth. Zombos steadied Glenor as she swooned again.

"I know! We will call your sister, Trixie," said Zombos. "She is a witch. She should know the counter spell to this. As witches go she is not all that competent. But, any port in the storm, so they say. Now, is there a review, or any part thereof, that we can post to appease Penny Dreadful's ire in the meanwhile?

I lifted my left webbed foot and was about to tongue the paper under it, but Zombos moved faster and grabbed it. "A less damp copy this time would be preferable. Thank you. I will post it now for you."

——Zoc's review of Shilling Shockers, Season 8——

I wish Garou would eat the muffin already. He keeps pawing it, sitting in a local coffee shop as Penny tells us what's what. Time itself is the featured what's what of Season 8's Shilling Shockers, with silent movies and Luna's time travels stitching the episodes together. Her TARDUS-like outhouse (called the RETARDIS) is pretty good at time-hopping, which creates a pickle for everyone else as they chase after her. Funny, but I always figured Garou as a croissant-kind of lupine.

How better to while away the moments when watching classics like Metropolis, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Phantom of the Opera, The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari, Nosferatu, andThe Inspector Generalwait a minute, The Inspector General? What's Danny Kaye and the flagon with the dragon doing here?–with Penny Dreadful and her motley crew of monster hunter Von Bulow, scooby garoo werewolf Garou, and straitjacket-needed Luna moving the shenanigans along. Shilling Shockers is surprising clever in its mixing up of budget cinematic fakery, slapstick, and alluring belly dancing from Tempest. Don't even ask me what a belly dancer is doing in all this, but the music (Kozai Resonance) and her hips will distract you long enough to wonder at how it works so entertainingly well. The extreme closeups of Dr. Von Bulow popping his monocle and Garou twitching those hairy brows at those hip gyrations is hilarious.

Oh, right, about those silent movies. Yes, they are in the public domain, but that's precisely why you need to spice them up with retro-manic horror hosting and humorous segues. It's a truly American art form that Penny, Garou, Dr. Manfred Von Bulow, and Luna maintain and easily execute in a classically wild style: Penny flying to Cabinet of Dr. Caligari's sleepy little town of Holstenwall to find a cure for her sleep deprivation; Penny fretting over the possibility that they've jumped the shark after Luna mixes up the movies and they wind up with the musical comedy, The Inspector General, instead of The Witchfinder General; Penny going for the easy-audience-grab by introducing Garou's younger werewolf cousin to attract the Nicklelodeon set; Penny flippantly drinking strange drinks, left unattended, for no reason other than she's thirsty and it's there.

It is all giddy fun and makes viewing each silent movie special, especially by incorporating their themes into the mayhem. Well, okay, maybe having Tempest dance isn't quite Metropolis, but it did the trick. For Nosferatu, Penny and cohorts visit Count Orlok's Nightmare Gallery, where we find out how special Dr. Manfred Von Bulow, monster hunter, really is while getting a tour of the monstrous displays. And if you've ever wondered how they survived high school, a glitch in time sends them back to horror high and all that high school angst.

Will they finally find Luna with the help of the Chronus Talisman? Will Shilling Shockers jump the shark or be eaten by it? Will Garou ever eat that damn muffin? Will we see more young cousins as the show goes after the family and kiddie horror audiences? Will Danny Kaye ever figure out if the poison's in the vessel with the pestle or the flagon with the dragon?  You will have to pick up the DVDs to find out. Enjoy those classic silents, too. It's good to know they are in great–albeit loony–company.