Zombos Says: Awful
Sadly, Breaking Glass Pictures is perpetuating the horror of Tommy Faircloth's Dollface (aka Dorchester's Revenge: The Return of Crinoline Head) by unfettering it from the festival circuit. Which is not a benefit for discerning horror fans. Case in point: cut every scene with Debbie Rochon and you wouldn't notice she's missing (neither would the story); or eliminate the interminable, witless dialog that wastes most of the movie's time and you'd probably ask for it back because, without it, you clearly see the misfire of maybe-it's-a-slasher, maybe-it's-a-parody, or maybe--and this is what I think-- the director and the actors had no clue which direction to take this sequel to Faircloth's Crinoline Head (1995) so they winged it along for an excruciatingly scares-less and humorless ride, botched by all the ad libitum blathering and the monotonous pacing and editing. Whoever the people are who gave this a 7.6 rating on IMDb, and the critics who keep referring to this as a classic 1980s style slasher in tone, they must either be nuts, friends of the director, or want to keep getting screeners.
Dollface is simply not smart enough to be bad, and not good enough to watch, even if, as one blogging critic made note of Faircloth's recommendation, you see it with a buzz on. A full-blown drunken stupor wouldn't help this turkey from getting roasted. The acting? It's passable and hints that, given more hand's on direction and an actual script, would have been much better. The drag queens getting lost while driving to a show and then getting stranded in the woods when their car breaks down? Oh my lord, this was the movie that should have been! Imagine drag queens squared off against a slasher maniac! Or trying to run away in terror wearing high heels! The script would write itself, for heaven's sake.
Instead, we get a little repartee between them, a little teasing screen time with them preening in costume--yes, they're still late and lost in getting to that show-- and then they're quickly sliced and diced off camera. Not much happens in frame anyway, so why bother adding more visual efx gags that require more prep? With the most entertaining characters eliminated, we return to the college ones waiting for their turn at being sliced and diced. With them, you really, really, want them to get killed quickly.
The one thing director Faircloth gets right is the seemingly endless school daze we experience as Professor Paul Donner (Jason Vail) tells his class about Dorchester Stewart, the little mother's boy (Andrew Wicklum) who cannibalized his mom after she died suddenly. Kids. Go figure. Yes, I'm being sarcastic, but watching this scene will remind you of your own school haze and daze and energy-displacement professors slowing everything down to a crawl. Stewart grows up and turns into the serial killer known as Crinoline Head. The professor relates his experience with the sordid affair. Slowly. And more slowly. With an echo. It's impossible that any college class with a professor like that would be so bright and chipper. And attentive. Another reason why I think the actors are better than what's in the can.
A stream-screener was provided for this review. After this, I'm sure I won't be offered many more of them.
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