From Zombos Closet

2012

Crawlspace (2012)

crawlspace movie IMDB
ZC Rating: Good

I disagree with a few of the online critics that have reviewed this movie. While they cite likely plot inspirations from sources like Scanners, and Aliens, and Event Horizon, I would instead point to movies like The Power. In that 1968 movie (starring George Hamilton), members of a research group are killed off, one by one, through telekinesis, by someone within the group. Justin Dix, the director of Crawlspace (this is his first full-length movie), sort of uses the same scenario, just not as straightforward or as suspenseful.

Being a special effects supervisor, his direction perks up when the effects come into play, but you do notice a difference between those moments and moments without special effects. The dramatic interactions drag on a little too long, the recriminations and rebukes come a little too easily and are a little too volatile, and having an elite military unit, highly trained for special ops, so easily revert to behaviors usually exhibited by mercenaries is lazy scripting. So is having big guys squeezing through narrow air vents, that perennial movie and television trope that trims budgets and expediently moves people from point-here to point-there.

But this movie is called Crawlspace so the air vents make more sense here; and Dix, for his first go at a complete story does a competent job of telling and showing it. And there’s a killer gorilla; in my playbook you can never go wrong when you toss in a killer gorilla. What’s missing from Crawlspace is more surprises like that, and naming the mysterious woman “Eve” (Amber Clayton), who has amnesia and a nasty surgical scar on her head, is a giveaway to what’s coming.

Deep underground, in a maze of pathways reminiscent of those plastic mice habitats, military units are dispatched to handle a major crisis unfolding in a secret research facility. One unit comes across Eve, who doesn’t remember much, but unit leader Romeo (Ditch Davey), recognizes her as his dead wife (now not so dead, of course). Between bullets and running from danger the soldiers unravel into a frenzied mess of nerves and fears–the drill for horror movie dramatics. Eve begins to remember and Romeo fears that the most. We find out why Romeo is so guilt-ridden, but that’s after a fanatical scientist (what goes for mad these days) provides some explanation. Another fanatical and more dangerous scientist completes the story. Both scientists are treated to special effects scenes that are mind-blowing (for them) and gruesome for us. When Eve fully remembers, matters become much worse. The ending isn’t, so there’s plenty of room for a sequel.

While I agree with a few of the online critics that the movie rehashes the same hash, I disagree that this makes it a bad movie. It’s cooked with enough satisfying action and pulp science fiction thematics to make it worth watching. I just wish there were more killer gorillas. Now that would have been great.

A courtesy screening copy of this movie, on disc, was provided for this review.

The Possession (2012)
Jewish Demons Can Be a Mouthful

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Zombos Says: Good

Two thoughts pushed their way to the top after I saw Ole Bornedal’s The Possession. The first was how much less frightening the dybbuk  demon is than Pazuzu in The Exorcist: I find that evil, when it’s personable, when it speaks directly to you in  a normal, conversational fashion, is more terrifying than the silent type. The second thought was how Bornedal’s beautifully moving camera, along with Anton Sanko’s suitably depressing piano tinkling heralding austere, fade to black, moments, fairly killed the story’s momentum. Antiseptic, plain vanilla, no contrast, these are some of the words I would use to describe how the story unfolds. This is still a good movie, mostly due to Jeffrey Dean Morgan’s intensity as Clyde, a father who slowly realizes the truth, Natasha Calis’s sinister behavior as the possessed girl, Em, and a delectably creepy hint of a backstory for the wooden box that traps the dybbuk (or fails to). This is the kind of movie I found myself wishing they’d stuck with that backstory because the present is comprised of moments we’ve, mostly, seen before (and were done with more con brio when we did). Except for that exquisitely bad to the bone looking box.

It not only looks old but it looks like one you’d fear was full of dark secrets.  Its contents are even more bizarre than the ones seen on that cable show Oddities. It made me wonder what its oddly shaped jars contained and why those contents were put there, and especially how the dybbuk was trapped the first time. Instead,  we see the diagnostic-tests-at-the-hospital scene, although this one does provide the scariest moment of the movie with a brightly conceived visual; and, of course, there’s the now standard family situation to generate budget tension–mom (Kyra Sedgewick) and dad are divorced and mom has an annoying suitor (Grant Show); and, of course, there are langorous scenes of bodily invasion, like moths flying in and out of mouths.  What is it with winged bugs and possessing demons?  Can someone, anyone, please give me an explanation for their overuse in horror movies and their preference for oral cavities?

Picking up the box at a yard sale, Em opens it and the possession begins with her becoming more and more Goth in appearance (no offence to Goths or Emos intended, but hey, it’s a spooky look). Em also puts on a large, hard to miss, ring, which turns her hand all veiny and purple. Her parents and sister don’t seem to notice. Another reviewer noted how odd it is that neither parent notices the purpling hand or the Victorian nut-cracker of a ring. Dracula wished he had a ring like that.

The usual quirky behavior of the new man in Clyde’s ex-wife’s life provides the usual banter and time-filler between more serious moments with Em being sucked dry of life by the demon. Bornedal is so visually artistic and thematically structured in his approach, however, there’s no meat on this horror bone. Comparison’s to The Exorcist, and other possession movies, are inevitable. Where Bornedal brings a fresh take  is when he jostles Clyde’s predictable, coaching-life world alongside an older, steeped in tradition, Hasidic world in Brooklyn as Clyde seeks help from the experts, who in this case are the rabbis.

They see the box and tell him to take a hike, with it. A brilliant and unexpected move. In The Exorcist, the priests tackle Pazuzu as a matter of faith and conviction. And both priests do not survive the ordeal. Here, the rabbis choose survival first, knowing what’s in the box is serious enough to warrant being in the box. The head rabbi’s son, Tzadok (Matisyahu), still retains his faith and conviction: he’s young, what does he know? He leaves with Clyde and both must do one thing first: find out what the demon’s name is because that is what’s needed to force the demon back into the box.

The name is found a little too quickly, but it leads to the showdown between the rabbi’s son with conviction, the father with conviction, the mom with conviction, and the demon with conviction. Bornedal doesn’t ignite enough hell fire though, and compromises the showdown by resorting to strobe-lighting views as the demon pulls itself out of someone’s mouth (there’s that foreign object in mouth again theme: see the movie poster) and crawls along the floor, reluctantly, toward the box. Stylish? Yes. Dramatically hot? No; tepid. Terrifying? A little.

The ending follows the prescribed sequel-antic expected for generating a horror movie franchise. I doubt, however, this box will turn up again unless it’s straight to DVD.

Total Recall (2012)
Not Too Memorable

Totalrecall

Zombos Says: Good

Watching the action unfold in director Len Wiseman’s Total Recall, I couldn’t help but compare it to the Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sharon Stone star vehicle of the same name. But that movie was in 1990, when writers could play around the science fiction edges with cheekiness and guile and directors couldn’t overplay their hand with computers and saturate us with non-stop action hurtling through uber landscapes filled with mini and mega structures moving with tantalizing, but numbing, techno-complexity and velocity. But now is now, after all, and cinematic now is filled with the heat of global meltdowns, the incessant beating of warring drums, a tiresome fusillade of political bull dung flying in all directions, and a lot of sour and dour events preoccupying our thoughts. So it’s only natural science fiction movies, super hero movies, and movies formerly filled with imagination and inspiration, now, have tuned down the inspiration while hustling us faster, and very predictably, through a patented and familiar imagination.

Instead of becoming involved with characters through association or taking wild rides to Mars and having our eyes comically bug out from the lack of oxygen, we’re enveloped by hover car chases–albeit breathtaking hover car chases–evocative, rainy, cityscapes dotted with dreary hanging apartments that seem to sprout out of the congested city’s concrete megastructures like weeds thriving in the incessant rain, and homogeneous huddled masses yearning to find a free space in all the hubbub or, at least, a cool palm phone. So yes, this Total Recall‘s production design by Patrick Tatopoulus is stunning and easily runs away with the film while leaving its script a tad short on wit and gumption, but tall on action of the bullets flying, people dying, and big send off explosions kind.

The Fall figures heavily in all this pyrotechnic destruction and sets up the Metropolis-like dystopian dynamic for the two class structures–the wealthier United Federation of Britain and the poorer Colony–both vying for habitable land after Earth is decimated by chemical warfare. The Fall is a gigantic gravity elevator that travels through the planet between the two nations, bringing Colony workers to and from “below,” to toil at building synthetic police (THX 1138 anyone?) for the UFB. The Fall provides the film’s more intense moments and thorough special effects, but the plausibility factor is nil and a pivotal (I’m being literal here) standoff borders on the periphery of silliness: elite commandos conveniently fail to realize something important about the daily commute and they lose their advantage because of it.

Plausibility wobbles again when factory worker Douglas Quaid (Colin Farrell), plagued by a violent dream with a mysterious woman and dissatisfied with his assembly line life, heads to ReKall, the happy memories franchise. He gravitates to their secret agent memory product, but implanting fake memories over real, similar ones stops the process cold and sends Quaid on a bumpy and lumpy journey to discovering who he really is. In-between all his huffing and puffing as he runs from his wife (a guns-blazing and hips hugging typecast Kate Beckinsale) and UFB President Cohaagen’s (Bryan Cranston) police force, he stops long enough to find clues to his past in places I thought the police should have gotten to first, like his safe deposit box and his former apartment, since they know who he really is even if he doesn’t.

The woman in his dream, Melina (Jessica Beal), much like Maria in Metropolis, provides the romance and the reason for his actions. Unlike Maria, she also wields a mean handgun, drives a hover car better than Mike Mercury, and kicks ass more believably than the wispy Beckinsale. Melina helps Quaid find Matthias (Bill Nighy), the leader of the resistance against Cohaagen’s political meanderings. Unfortunately, Matthias is not as interesting as his namesake in the original and doesn’t have a mutant humanoid brother living in his belly.

With the main storylines of both Total Recall movies being similar, what’s the difference here to warrant a remake? If blazing action, dispensed heavily through computerized imagery and wild futuristic technology is your bag of popcorn, than this movie is definitely for you.

Movie Review: The Amazing Spiderman (2012)
Good, But Very Different

the amazing spiderman movie 2012

Peter Parker (Andrew Garfield) is different, his alter ego Spider-Man is different, and the playbook Marc Webb's The Amazing Spider-Man movie uses–a franchise reboot that wasn't, artistically speaking, necessary–seem's more suited to the morose Batman than the spunkier red, white, and blue teenage nerd who gets bitten by a unique spider.

This time around the spider has been genetically engineered by his scientist father, who leaves young Peter with Aunt May (Sally Field) and Uncle Ben (Martin Sheen) whenOscorp Industries gets rough concerning his father's research into cross-species regeneration and decay rate algorithms.

Peter's parents die shortly after leaving him. Years later he's a bright science student but bullied at school, in love from afar with Gwen Stacy (Emma Stone), and soon to meet Dr. Connors (Rhys Ifans), his father's friend and co-researcher. Dr. Connors wants to grow his missing arm back and needs a workable decay rate algorithm. Peter supplies it after finding his father's briefcase containing the needed research information. Mayhem ensues.

The mayhem takes a while to simmer to boiling point, and it isn't Sam Raimi's mayhem, and that old Spidey Sense isn't as finely tuned yet for Peter. He gets beat up a lot and looks like it. I don't recall Tobey Maguire looking this bruised and sore after taking on Doc Ock or the Green Goblin.  Peter also needs more help in this movie, which is supplied by a brave Gwen Stacy, her father the police captain (Denis Leary) and a resourceful construction worker (C. Thomas Howell) who realizes even super heroes need our help sometimes. 

The funniest scene happens with Stan Lee and it gets my vote for the best Stan Lee cameo appearance in a Marvel film. And the best scene doesn't take place with Spider-Man battling the gigantic Lizard; it happens hanging off the traffic-jammed Williamsburgh Bridge, when Spider-Man must save a frightened kid and time's slipping away fast. These scenes sparkle inside a cleanly executed storyline that doesn't share enough of its substance with us: Aunt May and Uncle Ben are here, but they're perfunctory; Peter Parker experiences a life-changer, but he takes it in stride; Dr. Connors nearly get's his wish to send New Yorkers back to the Mesozoic Era, but he's stopped surprisingly quickly just so we can spend more minutes with Peter and Gwen, leaving me hoping Dr. Connor's would pop his lizard tail back in to shake things up one more time. Sadly, he didn't.

If you're keeping a scorecard, I rate this movie "good" and a little better–but just a little–than Raimi's Spider-Man 3. That movie also had too many scripters to tell the story. Garfield is taller and slimmer than Maguire, and he's got a fuller head of hair, but Maguire still shows more nuance even when standing still. Also in this movie, Peter Parker has finally acquired a cell phone, although he needs to use the vibrate button more. He also watches YouTube, which leads to a surprisingly relevant confrontation between him and Captain Stacy over what appears to be the truth in a video concerning Spider-Man. As for The Daily Bugle, it gets brief mention through a newspaper bundle showing a front page, but Peter's photo-taking is not uppermost here.

The 3D renders the movie quite dark for viewing while giving negligible depth to the action. I recommend seeing the 2D version instead.

The Woman in Black (2012)

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Zombos Says: Very Good

Hammer Film Production’s return to period supernatural horror is a strongly rendered traditional ghost story set in Britain’s Edwardian time. While not as scary as Robert Wise’s The Haunting, or as surprisingly twisting as John Hough’s The Legend of Hell House, director Jack Watkins conjures cheerless environs, a foreboding decaying mansion, and a pervasive malevolence poised to strike, in this adaptation of Susan Hill’s novel. Most striking are the period sets; I kept fancying Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee would tumble out of a room at any moment with Lee baring his vampire fangs and Cushing crossing two iron candle sticks together.

The oppressive atmosphere of London’s oily, sooty fog, changes to the oppressive dreariness felt when Arthur Kipps (Daniel Radcliffe) arrives at Crythin Gifford, a small town of frightened adults beset by a vengeful spirit murdering their children. Kipps, a lawyer still grieving from the loss of his wife, with a son to support and a job in jeapardy, is tasked with settling the immense amount of paperwork left behind by the late Mrs. Drablow of Eel Marsh House. The desolate house is only reachable by Nine Lives Causeway, a long stretch of road that, at certain points, becomes submerged under water during high tide. Surrounding the causeway are marshes filled with impassable, dark, viscous muck, and impenetrable fog.

At Eel Marsh House, Kipps finds Victorian stuffed monkeys, dusty tapestries and faded carpeting, creaking floorboards, thick cobwebs, peeling wallpaper, and lots of papers to go through. The phantom sounds of a carriage accident and cries in the fog, as well as seeing a mysterious figure of a woman dressed in black, put him on edge. Tragedy soon follows and the villagers want him to leave, except for Sam Daily (Ciaran Hinds), a wealthy landowner with the only car (a Rolls Royce Silver Ghost) for miles around. Invited to dinner by Daily, Kipps learns that Sam and his wife (Janet McTeer), have lost their son when Mrs. Daily enters an automatic writing trance she says is her son’s way of communicating with her.

Kipps decides to spend the night at Eel Marsh House to finish his business. Sam lends his dog to Kipps for company. The Woman in Black makes sure he and the dog don’t get much sleep. Apparitions, ghostly wet footprints, a very disquieting nursery, and the revealing letters Kipps discovers in a window bench keep his attention, and his wits, alert. The next morning more tragedy strikes, and worse still, Kipps learns his son and nanny are coming to Crythin Gifford and he can’t stop them.

The ending of Watkin’s movie is not the same as the novel, so devout readers of Susan Hill’s work may be surprised. Daniel Radcliffe is superb as Arthur Kipps. The wind-up toy animals, monkees, and clowns in the nursery are quite creepy. The story has an atmosphere Ti West can only dream of. It isn’t in 3D.

And as for Hammer Film Productions, you can rest assured that Hammer Horror is back with a vengeance.

Underworld Awakening (2012)
Should Have Slept More

Zombos Says: Fair

Too Loud, with murkiness obliterating screen detail, with laughable post-production 3D, with lazy art direction, Underworld: Awakening is a disappointing sequel to Underworld: Evolution.

Kate Beckinsale’s Selene is on autopilot as she evades humans and lycans, kills humans and lycans, and evades them some more. In a script rework off of Resident Evil: Apocalypse, Selene is put on ice, experimented on, thawed out, and royally pissed because David (Theo James) is missing in action. Replace clones with one offspring named Eve (India Eisley)–no, really, she’s named Eve– and add nefarious Andigen Corp run by evil, and near comatose, Dr. Jacob Lane (Stephen Rea) hatching a dark plan just as nefarious as Resident Evil‘s Umbrella Corp, then see Selene run, kick high, land gracefully, and run some more. With her seemingly inexhaustible automatic handguns firing away at everything in motion, I began to wonder just how stupid those lycans were as they jumped, howling in rage, into her hail of bullets again and again.

Lost in this iteration of the Underworld series is just that, the gothically moody underworld. Much of the action takes place above ground at Andigen, or on the dark city streets, where lycans chase Selene, car-hopping their way closer and closer to her van, close enough so she can shoot their brains out. Again.

While she’s not pointing those handguns–now they spit out a gazillion bullets per second–she’s pouting, waiting for the story to catch up with her. The open montage–two actually–at the beginning, rushes the backstory to bring us up to speed, then rushes us by the pre-story, where Andigen and Dr. Lane purge the world of vampires and lycans. Or are they?

Directors Mans Marlind and Bjorn Stein must have watched too many video games, trying to emulate their exhiliration by steam-rolling the opener and much of the movie with monster-fighting-monster scenes.  Had they actually played those games, then maybe we’d get more drama and suspense in the breathing spaces between all that huffing and puffing. Too many directors and too many writers (more than a handful) add up to a rote actioner that never forgets its CGI. Huge lycan towering over Selene? Its here. Two-fisted gun fire to blow out the bottom of a descending elevator? It’s here. Thin Selina piroueting and gliding in tight leather, looking sleak and sexy as she deals death and destruction in rapid motion to screeching music and loud booms? It’s here.

Selene’s discovery of a vampire coven provides the only visually interesting moment when a call to action brings the immense, wrought iron, candle-dripped candelabra down from the ceiling to retrieve their weapons cached within. This moment of gothic surprise is brief, and not even the coven lair’s dripping stonework sustains enough fashion sense reminiscent of the earlier Underworld movies.

Given the vapid approach taken with Underworld: Awakening, I recommend they slap Twilight and Underworld together with a cat fight between Selene and Bella, otherwise this series is kaput.

Once Again, The Apocalypse (but now due 2012)

The 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse Nice to see the apocalypse has been rescheduled. Like one of those near endless Friday the 13th sequels, you just can’t keep a good hoax down. But now the date is 2012, so I hope you can wait. I know the suspense is simply killing me.

Fueled by a crop of books, Web sites with countdown clocks, and claims about ancient timekeepers, interest is growing in what some see as the dawn of a new era, and others as an expiration date for Earth: December 21, 2012.

Read all about it before it’s too late: Apocalypse in 2012? Date Spawns Theories, Films…