From Zombos Closet

JM Cozzoli

A horror genre fan with a blog. Scary.

Comic Book Review: I, Zombie 2, Working Stiffs

i zombie issue 2 Zombos Says: Very Good

You'd be surprised, but sometimes it seems like there's more dead people above the ground than below it in any given cemetery.

For issue 2, iZombie gets a new-look title and picks up momentum with its art and story. Roberson brings us closer to Gwen's ghostly girlfriend Ellie, introduces Scott's pocket-protector inclined IT pals at work, and the vampire girls running the local Blood Sports Paintball attraction have a 'business' meeting. Mister Mummy, Fred's murderer, puts in a brief appearance, although what he's up to or what he might be after is not disclosed. His pet cheetah likes to eat juicy steaks on the couch, though, while watching television.

This issue doesn't add much to Gwen's investigation of Fred's death beyond her meeting his wife and son, awkwardly, in the cemetery, but it embellishes the people we met in the first issue. The two mysterious monster hunters are back, and they're on the trail of a rogue vampire. For a small town it certainly has an unusually high amount of supernatural citizens, much like Buffy's Sunnydale.

The simple, smooth lines of the characters are not effusive or overly energetic, but with a variety of page layouts for them to converse and act in, there's a Dylan Dog-ish quirkiness just itching to scratch through. Eye-candy pastel colors and zip-a-tone keep the story's tone light, but don't overshadow Gwen's moodiness. The difficult balance between art and word is just about perfect, making this series a pleasure to read as much as look at.

This issue was provided by Vertigo for review.

Survival of the Dead (2010)
Romero Without Bite


survival of the dead
Zombos Says: Fair

Survival of the Dead is a silly zombie movie when it shouldn’t be and a terrible zombie movie when it should be terrifying. Revisiting threadbare plot themes, George Romero’s once fearsome and unstoppable horde have become as bothersome as pesky mosquitoes in need of swatting when they get too close, and his always quarrelsome living survivors, not surprisingly, are still quarreling.

Only this time he’s put them all on Plum Island and split the survivors into two feuding Irish homesteads headed by Seamus Muldoon (Richard Fitzpatrick) and Patrick O’Flynn (Kenneth Walsh). Seamus wants to keep the deadheads tethered or herded like cattle until a cure can be found. Patrick wants to shoot the rotters and be done with it. Almost everyone dresses, rides horses, and shoots guns like this is a Western; but it isn’t, although an Old West zombie story might have been more engaging. A zombie riding horseback is even lassoed by a cowboy. I halfheartedly wanted to see the cowpoke heat up a Melody Ranch branding iron and tag the zombie. It would not have made much sense but neither does much of this movie.

Eschewing the grittier and more grotesque Tom Savini-styled makeup effects that made zombies and their habits more revolting and terrifying back in the day (although this storyline does take place a few days after the plague starts), Romero instead enhances the de rigueur skull-splitting with assorted CGI-flavored dispatches including the cranium plop, the flare gun incendiary noggin’ (which reminded me of Jim Carrey’s Ghost of Christmas Past in Scrooge), and the Looney Tune pop-eyed popper (I was disappointed no accompanying awhooozah! horn sounded when those pupils popped).

Romero’s zombies don’t look much the worse for being undead here. They continue to shuffle about everywhere, on land and in the water, but he directs Survival like he’s planing a piece of wood when he should be gouging deep splintery notches in it instead. Survival’s zombies lack bite: Romero prefers to make them loved ones gone bad instead of ravenous fiends looking to tear chunks of flesh from living bodies and play slinky with intestines. This may serve his story but turns his ubiquitous monsters, the same ones he fostered into popular culture, into slow moving hazards his characters avoid on the road to survival, but not too hurriedly. Survival’s deadheads would fit comfortably into the undead and not very scary crowd at the Monroeville Mall Zombie Walk.

Sarge (Alan Van Sprang) and his small band of soldiers turned mercenaries, last seen in Diary of the Dead, provide most of the action. One soldier on guard duty watches a late night show poking fun at zombies on his laptop. Another one, Tomboy (Athena Karkanis) masturbates to kill time. They come across a group of hunters who have put CGI zombie heads on spikes for fun. Irritated by that, Sarge kills all of them except for Boy (Kevin Bostick), who shows them a YouTube video with Patrick O’Flynn extolling the fresh air and safety of Plum Island. I wonder if he has a Facebook page? They decide to go there and travel to the docks in an armored truck. After finding a million dollars locked away in the truck, they agree it’s worthless given the current situation (the zombie plague, not the recession); but Boy still manages to keep the key.

It’s a lucky coincidence the banished Patrick and his small band of followers are at the docks when Sarge pulls up. Over bullets and zombies, and occasional flashes of Romero’s wit for dry humor–one man fishing keeps catching zombies, and a stick of lighted dynamite is fortuitously dropped into a zombie’s grasping fingers–Patrick and the soldiers make their way to a ferry and sweep it clean of infestation. They power up the engines and head to Plum Island.

The tension does not pick up with this shift in fire power. Romero doggedly undermines it with his feuding patriarchs squaring off on the dietary habits of the deadheads, another you-were-infected-weren’t-you? zombie in the making, an inconsequential twist, and a banal approach to showing it all. A few scenes of flesh and organ eating are for perfunctory consumption only. Zombies placed in the barn’s stalls like cattle provides a whimsical touch, but Romero’s unique ability to balance his story’s importance between living and undead falters here. In Survival of the Dead the living are caricatures of people and the deadheads are imitation zombies.

Trading Cards: 1960s Sci-Fi & Terror TV

This is a wonderful set of 50 cards, ‘an educational guide for viewers,’ from Funfax, copyright 1994. This series ‘examines the best sci-fi and horror programs from that decade’ [1960 to 1970]. Click to enlarge. You will find the information on the back of each card nostalgic and interesting, and a very good selection of unforgettable episodes.

 


60's sci-fi and terror tv cards
60's sci-fi and terror tv cards
60's sci-fi and terror tv cards
60's sci-fi and terror tv cards
60's sci-fi and terror tv cards
60's sci-fi and terror tv cards
60's sci-fi and terror tv cards

60's sci-fi and terror tv cards


60's sci-fi and terror tv cards
60's sci-fi and terror tv cards
60's sci-fi and terror tv cards
60's sci-fi and terror tv cards

Television: Walking Distance
Stepping Back to Move Ahead


Walkingdistance
Zombos Says: Sublime

MARTIN
(nods, slowly)
I see that now. But I don't understand. Why not?

ROBERT
(softly)
I guess because we only get one chance.
(a crooked smile)
Maybe there's only one summer to a customer.

The fifth scripted episode of the Twilight Zone, Walking Distance, written by Rod Serling, aired on October 30th, 1959. It concerns one Martin Sloan (Gig Young), age thirty-six, burned-out, fed up, and racing his expensive sports car into the distance where neither the direction nor time it will take is something he's sure of. He just wants out. What he wants out from is back there in New York City, the place he's racing away from. What he hopes to find is somewhere ahead of him, but it's still quite a distance away. How close he comes to finding it will be a little side trip; a brief moment of respite, bittersweet and soft to touch, but it will remain a little side trip nonetheless, because he still has quite a ways to go.

Call it the Golden Age, nostalgia, the uncluttered simplicity of childhood memories filled with cold ice cream eaten on hot summer days, endless bike rides, and sparse responsibilities making abundant time uniquely your own. We each have our own special slice of Golden Age pie gulped down deeply within us. Some may get a bigger piece, and for some it may not be as sweet, but it's there to be savored, especially during those grown-up times of inner turmoil and uncertainty when we long to go back for another taste.

For Martin Sloan, his unforgettable slice of pie is Homewood, the place where he grew up, filling his childhood days with shooting marbles, playing ball, and riding the merry-go-round. For me it would be Brooklyn, for you, who knows, it could be anyplace. He's driven back there by the 1950's Rat Race of mundane routine, his days now filled with endless meetings and warding off fierce competition to his successful status qou, driving him to seek his own personal status quo ante. He gets his chance when his car needs a few hours servicing. Homewood's only a mile and a half away from the gas station, walking distance for someone who's got some time on his hands. Strange that he doesn't recognize how close he is to the town where he grew up. Maybe it has been that long.

The time machine he steps into, cleverly designed as a drugstore complete with soda fountain, has him reminiscing over his love for three-chocolate-scoop sodas, only a dime each. The suddenly familiar counter-clerk makes him one. It still costs a dime. He steps out of the time machine and into Homewood; his Homewood. The one he remembers and can't forget. The one where you can down three-chocolate-scoop sodas and not worry about gaining weight. Ever.

What Serling wrote about in 1959, the longing we all succumb to when age bends us a little lower, and time twists us a lot tighter, remains as true today as it did then. Call it timeless. Only today you may be tempted to replace those ice cream sodas with something else that starts with an i, or maybe ends with an ii. But the sentiment is the same. Martin's sturm und drang is ours, today, tomorrow, always.

When Martin realizes he's fallen backward in time he desperately tries to stay. Wouldn't you? But his younger self is still growing older and riding the merry-go-round and gulping down all those dime sodas. There isn't room enough for the two of them. Martin realizes this eventually. Reluctantly. But his dad (Frank Overton) convinces Martin he must leave and let his younger and happier self enjoy the best time of his life. It's his summer now, only he doesn't know that because he's just a kid. How could he? Martin tries to make his younger self understand this, but winds up hurting both of them. Would that 'one summer to a customer' be as carefree and happy for you if you knew it wouldn't last?

For every idyll-personified summer there usually follows a winter of discontent. Serling tackles this inevitable seasonal change of sentiment again in A Stop at Willoughby, The Incredible World of Horrace Ford, and Kick the Can. But it is here in Homewood he's at his persuasive best in conveying the emptiness that leads to desperation that leads to a desire to return to the child grown over by the adult and those wonderful days of summer that grow regrettably shorter into the Fall.

NARRATOR'S VOICE
…And perhaps across his mind they'll flit a little errant wish…that a man might not have to become old…never outgrow the parks and the merry-go-rounds of his youth.
(a pause)
And he'll smile then too because he'll know it is just an errant wish. Some wisp of memory not too important really. Some laughing ghosts that cross a man's mind…that are a part of the Twilight Zone.

Comic Book Review: Bram Stoker’s Death Ship 1


idw death ship 1 24 July.–There seems some doom over this ship. Already a hand short, and entering the Bay of Biscay with wild weather ahead, and yet last night another man lost, disappeared. Like the first, he came off his watch and was not seen again. Men all in a panic of fear, sent a round robin, asking to have double watch, as they fear to be alone. Mate angry. Fear there will be some trouble, as either he or the men will do some violence. (from the Captain's log,
Dracula by Bram Stoker)

ZC Rating 4 of 7: Very Good

The doomed voyage of the Russian schooner Demeter, in Bram Stoker's Dracula, is one of the more horrific passages in the novel. Imagine being trapped aboard a ship with the blood-thirsty devil: there's nowhere to hide that's safe; no one strong enough to save you; no one living to hear you scream. Budgetary necessity forced the removal of this terror by night from Bela Lugosi's Dracula, and there's been no movie to date–although The Last Voyage of the Demeter has been in production limbo for years–that has chronicled the ship's encounter with the undead nobleman. Bram Stoker himself only provides a few tantalizing glimpses into the terrible fate of the crew through the Captain's log entries.

Now writer Gary Gerani and artist Stuart Sayger take over the ship's wheel to navigate those days of dread and death. There's a formidable challenge inherent in describing the Demeter's last days: we know how it ends. It's hard to build suspense when you know nobody survives. Or will they here?

Sayger's artwork takes much of it's power from the non-glossy paper, providing a rough, muted canvas for his water-colored hues that bring life to his inked lines. He has a knack for capturing the salt in the sea air, the splinter's in the mast's wood, and the terror stalking the deck. Gerani's characters are hardened men of the sea, a spirited captain, and one very young sailor still enamored by the wonders of the sky and the water when seen from the crow's nest. Then there's Anatole, a savage brute of a seaman who revels in his manliness. How will he handle the intruder onboard, one savage pitted against another?

This first issue's 22-pages bring the crewmen, the mysterious boxes of earth, and Dracula together for the last voyage of the Demeter in a promisingly dramatic way. Even though we know what should happen, Gerani and Sayger give us flesh and blood people to be concerned over–except, maybe, for Anatole–and Sayger's splash illustration for the vampire during one of his attack's, rendered murkily, as if seen through mist, indicates the white gloves are off. If the momentum begun in this issue continues, the power of Dracula over the living and the elements will provide a vivid and suspenseful confrontation; the one Bram Stoker alludes to in his novel.

Worth More Than A Thousand Words


Zacherley Far too many years ago than I can fully recall
, there was this little store wedged into a cramped side street in New York City. I'd visit it every so often in the company of my dad, as I was too young to travel or carry much money back then, of course.

I have one somewhat flickery memory of the store's proprietor standing behind a counter stacked with photographs; real photographs, not the digitally rendered or stored ones so ubiquitous today, but the developed-in-stinky-and-toxic-solution ones: thousands of them. They teetered, tottered, and sprawled across the counter top, and spilled out in reluctantly tidy alphabetical order into wooden bins, dozens of them, which filled the small floor space, creating cramped isles to browse from.

The photographs or stills were of actors and scenes from movies. I remember one visit in particular when I discovered Flash Gordon stills. My dad argued on the price–I forget how much–so I had to choose a few from the handful I held. Buster Crabbe was a certainty. Ming the Merciless (Charles Middleton) and King Vultan (Jack 'Tiny' Lipson) were keepers. Dr.Zarkov (Frank Shannon) and Prince Barin (Richard Alexander) had to go. I held tightly onto Princess Aura (Priscilla Lawson), but my dad wasn't too keen on her because of her wonderfully skimpy outfit. He tried pushing Dale Arden (Jean Rogers) on me, instead, but she just didn't have the same appeal for me. Dale was too darn wholesome. I held my ground and wound up leaving with the princess, the dashing hero, the merciless villain, and the second banana bird-man.

Shoot ahead too many years to forget. I don't attend horror conventions often, but when I do, the most enjoyable experience for me is meeting the people of my nightmares and getting their autographed photos. These actors and creative folk are responsible for much of my misspent childhood, some of my awkward teenage years, and most of my definitely questionable, but enjoyable, dotage. Here's a rogue's gallery of some of the ones I've met so far. (click to enlarge)

Lisa Loring addams family

pat priest the munsters

Book Review: Lucas Manson by Thomas A. Hauck

Lucas_mason Zombos Says: Poor

Roxy joined the conversation. "We need to work this out," she said firmly. "We've got to find a way to feed ourselves on extended tours without leaving a trail of carcasses behind us. I heard they found the ones in Detroit and Miami. Sooner or later some junior detective is going to stick some pins in a map and make the connection. Dumping these things in a harbor or a vacant lot is not going to work. Even if they happen to find one, we've got to make sure that there is nothing linking the carcasses to us."

Reading Thomas Hauck's novel Lucas Manson is like sitting in one of those taxing corporate meetings that should have died at the sixty-minute mark but still lingers on well past it; and you need to take a bio-break badly; and there's no more coffee; and somebody needs to say something that brings closure and quickly. I'm exaggerating somewhat, but I've read very few novels that force me to skim pages because of their lengthy 'corporate meeting' styled discussions blowing off the action with 'tell me' instead of more preferable 'show me' exposition; leaving me with feeling the payoff–the all important underpinning that justifies a story's events and characters–doesn't add up. There is not enough suspense written in to make it a thriller; not enough horror described to make it frightening; and worse, not much excitement to be garnered from the characters and their actions. Lucas Manson's structure is more draft-stage than print-ready. 

Comic Book Review: I, Zombie 1 Dead to the World

I, Zombie Issue 1

Combine the two most horrible tastes you can imagine–like motor oil and someone else's vomit–and you won't even come close to this level of nasty. Yeah, I eat brains. (Gwen in I, Zombie, Issue 1)

Zombos Says: Good

I, Zombie from Vertigo is an urban fantasy set in Eugene, Oregon, a town very much like Archie Comics' Riverdale. Instead of Jughead, Betty, and Veronica, however, the grave-digging Gwendolyn Dylan has friends like  Ellie, a Go-Go Dancer ghost with a beehive hairdo, and Scott, a were-terrier boyfriend with puppy-love eyes. The gang likes to hang out at Dixie's Firehouse, the local malt shop and diner.

When not at Dixie's, Gwen digs graves at the Green Pastures Cemetery, which boasts their naturally wholesome methods of interment. Gwen's dirt-shoveling skills come in handy because she's a 20-something zombie who needs to chow down on a mass of gray cells every month to keep from turning into a less attractive and stinkier one. The catch is that when she eats a recently interred person's brain, she experiences the memories, pleasure, anguish, and desires the person left behind before shuffling off to points unknown. This time around, that shuffling off involves murder.

There's a lot of kitschy-cute weirdness crammed into this first issue: a mysterious corporation concerned about the surge in permanent residents at Green Pastures Cemetery; a former boyfriend Gwen anxiously avoids; the question of who murdered her latest dinner guest and why; and paintball vampires prowling around. Introductions are fast and brief in this ambitious issue, leaving me with anticipation for the next issue and hoping it doesn't fall flat under its own weighty cuteness. Michael Allred's artwork melds with the odd characters and their peculiar talents well enough to keep the tone balanced for the light and dark drama-kitsch writer Chris Roberson is aiming for.

DC Comics sent me a courtesy copy for this review.

Doctor Who Cadbury Typhoo 1976

“Collect colorful pictures of exciting characters encountered during the timeless travels of the Tardis. There are 12 octagonal cards to collect”–from Cadbury Typhoo Limited. Copyright BBC 1976.

The Doctor certainly encounters a lot of monsters in his travels, don’t you think?

Dr Who trading card set

Dr Who trading card set
Dr Who trading card set

 

Book Review: Tooth and Nail By Craig DiLouie

Tooth and nail Zombos Says: Fair

With the zombie well beginning to run dry of ideas, it's tough to come up with new angles to build around the gut-munching simplicity of the undead. Fast or slow, young or old, there's not much you can do with them beyond their insatiable appetite for flesh and sweet meats, and the duck and cover action it usually entails. While gimmicks abound, like dressing them up in Victorian finery and serving them up with tea and crumpets, you can only go so far before even they start looking long in the tooth and come up short on the drama.

One thematic darling of the zombie fiction set is to have a pandemic erupt sending citizens and politicos, civilians and military to hell in a designer handbasket. Usually blamed on terrorists or a military experiment gone horribly wrong, this virus hits the population hard and takes down everyone in its path. Queue the final curtain and much wailing and gnashing of teeth (on both living and dead sides of course).

In Tooth and Nail, Craig DiLouie follows the soldiers through the hell they must travel when New York City becomes a massive killing zone. His virus is the Hong Kong Lyssa, a variation that mutates into something more like a parasite than simply a nasty bug. His Mad Dogs– what the people infected with the virus are called–act very much like extras from 28 Days Later, but in his claustrophobic urban battleground, with no Starbucks, Dunkin' Donuts, or even a 7-Eleven open to grab a coffee break and Twinkie, the platoons sent to protect the
population wind up needing protection from that population even more. This sets up the intriguing emotional, spiritual, and intellectual conflicts inherent in such a situation: how can the military fulfill its primary objective to protect a population that is devolving more and more, by the minute, into an enemy. It's a unique premise. DiLouie, unfortunately, does little with it.

The last book I read that handled present tense well was David Moody's Hater, which was also written from the 'questionable perspective' of the narrator. DiLouie writes Tooth and Nail in the present tense, but his stream of action from characters to places to thoughts becomes awkward and intrusive at times, and twice shifts unexpectedly into a first person narrative, leaving me wondering who's speaking. Piling on military jargon and dividing chapters between the various platoons, the scientists at the medical facility researching a cure, and the Tilden Middle School campaign gone sour, it's a hard go to remember which platoon was involved with what mission and where they were or were headed. I eventually lost track of which soldiers went with which platoon halfway into the story. The scientists were easier to follow because they were written with two-dimensional dialog and B-movie scientist-type temperaments.

DiLouie provides a list in the front of the novel that spells out the military abbreviations used; AG stands for "assistant gunner," and FPF is "final protective fire." But after paging back and forth a few times to find out what each abbreviation meant, I felt like I was back in college doing a term paper. I bet you don't know what SINCGAR* stands for? An odd use of brief subtitles for chapters and transitions within
those chapters sticks out like a sore thumb in the reader's eye, either
telegraphing key upcoming moments or jarring his narrative flow. They reminded me of those melodramatic blurbs on the Mars Attacks! trading cards, just not as effectively used here.

At the crux of the story are the soldiers and their mental anguish over dealing with Mad Dogs, potential Mad Dogs, and ignoring pleas for help from desperate New Yorkers while trying to stay alive. Their growing consternation, helplessness, and resignation to the inevitable breakdown in command center communications and conflicting goals leaves them spiritually and mentally handicapped, unable to cope with a rising death rate and their  lowering prospects for success. DiLouie almost succeeds in capturing this roller coaster of potential drama, but sacrifices the fast turns and sudden dips for repetitive action sequences involving platoons making their way to somewhere because of seemingly random orders, through streets filled with hordes of Mad Dogs. At times these sequences are engaging for us as much as the soldiers–DiLouie works hard to incorporate realistic military strategy into these battles–but in-between them the rest of the story lags behind, filled with good-soldier-does-his-duty-to-the-end-no-matter-what flippancy.

The virus itself transforms into a parasite well into the novel, although this sudden change in its propagation characteristics gives the impression DiLouie only thought of making it a parasite well into the novel. With no foreshadowing, the revelation carries little dramatic impact when it appears and fails to provide much dramatic direction afterwards (read The Andromeda Strain and you will understand what I mean). His scientists are too busy doing B-movie duck and cover gyrations when their medical facility is compromised to appreciate the twist, leaving only one of them to convey the sudden discovery to a disintegrating military establishment.

In one promising plot thread that DiLouie brings up, but annoyingly leaves dangling, a soldier goes AWOL after a pretty college girl entices him to help her. What he eventually finds is a bunch of college kids who want to steal his weapons so they can hop over to New Jersey with a better chance of survival. They even ask the soldier to join them, reasoning he's the best one to handle the fire power. He bluntly says no, they leave with his guns, and this fetching storyline dies as quickly as it began.

I can't help but wonder how the college kids made out.

*SINCGAR: single-channel ground and airborne radio system

A digital copy of Tooth and Nail was provided for this review.

Trading Cards: The Munsters Autograph Cards

How much longer till Halloween? Here are the Dart Flipcards, Inc. The Munsters autographed trading cards for your Munsterish delight.

I met the adorable Pat Priest at one of the Drunken Severed Head's invitation-only parties, held during a Monster Bash convention. She regaled us with funny stories of her work on The Munsters set, how she turned down a free car from Elvis, and how she threw away the show's scripts and other future hot collectibles when no longer needed. Memorabilia was not a hot topic in those days apparently. I ate at Al Lewis' restaurant called, fittingly enough, Grampa's in Greenwich Village back in 1987. I didn't notice the place until this guy sitting in front yelled "Are you hungry?" and held the door open for us, inviting us in. It was Al Lewis, chomping on a big cigar and having a ball. The Italian food was awesome, too.


the munsters dart flipcards autograph cards
the munsters dart autograph cards