Zombos’ Closet…a vast trove of endearingly cheap thrills, including movie and book reviews, and scans of his collections of cinema pressbooks, goofy paper-cutout Halloween decorations, and his amazing collection of Mexican lobby cards from B-grade films. If you have time to descend into a serious rabbit-hole of marvelous trash-culture nostalgia, visit that site just as soon as you possibly can.” (DangerousMinds.net)
By Uncle Bob’s AI and JM Cozzoli
ZC: This is the report AI runs for me each week. I created it to keep up to date (as much as possible) with what’s horror-happening in movies and streaming. Take the review blurbs and ratings with a lot of salt. If you rely on them, the best of luck with that. Please let me know if I missed anything worth noting.
This Friday’s horror slate is a study in contrasts. Don’t Move sends a giant, vibration-hunting prehistoric spider after a church retreat in the Ozarks, betting on B-movie fun over prestige scares in wide theatrical release. Meanwhile Mārama, fresh off winning the top prize at the Seattle International Film Festival, turns a Yorkshire manor into a reckoning with colonial violence on Shudder. Critics remain sharply split on Parasomnia, Shudder’s nightmare-logic chiller from earlier this month, which is still generating some of the loudest arguments in horror circles. Round it out with a Kino Lorber documentary on horror’s Haitian zombie roots, an Estonian chainsaw musical, and a couple of streaming-library reissues, and it’s a weirdly eclectic Friday for genre fans.
Don’t Move (2026)
Theatrical (wide release) – Opened September 11, 2026 – Directed by Maclain Nelson
A church group’s annual retreat to the Ozark wilderness turns deadly when they wander into the hunting ground of a giant, vibration-sensing prehistoric spider. The cast includes Rob Riggle, Tom Cavanagh, Lyndsy Fonseca, Hunter King, and Joseph Lee Anderson, with a cameo from T-Pain. The screenplay is co-written by James “Murr” Murray (Impractical Jokers) and Darren Wearmouth, adapting their own bestselling novel.
What They Say: Early reviews frame it as a broad, likable creature feature. Funny, briskly paced, and unafraid of its own silliness, though the CG spider effects and some performances land unevenly. Early audience buzz leans into “so bad it’s fun” creature-feature territory; genre forums are highlighting the film’s B-movie earnestness over any real scares.
“Rob Riggle is hilarious, as always.” – Rotten Tomatoes Critics Consensus
Skewed Angles to Ponder:
Mārama (2026)
Streaming – Shudder (added September 11, 2026) – Directed by Taratoa Stappard
Grand Jury Prize winner, Seattle International Film Festival 2026
A young Māori woman travels from New Zealand to North Yorkshire, England after receiving a cryptic letter, and becomes a governess at a manor whose owner’s obsession with her culture is more possession than respect. A gothic tale of colonial violence and revenge.
What They Say: Widely praised as a rich, exquisitely crafted gothic horror that channels real historical trauma into genre form. The main knock is a deliberately slow burn that tests patience in places. Letterboxd and festival audiences have been enthusiastic, especially about the film’s visual craft and unflinching cultural politics; a minority of viewers flag the pacing as a barrier for casual horror fans.
“For all its real-world anguish and fictional dread, Mārama never collapses beneath the weight of its own seriousness.” – IndieWire
“The fury of [the lead] performance, nonetheless, keeps ‘Mārama’ a worthy anti-colonialist statement that harnesses the symbolic virtues of genre cinema for its understandably virulent tone.” – RogerEbert.com
Skewed Angles to Ponder:
Still With Us: Parasomnia (2026)
Streaming – Shudder (premiered September 4, 2026; still driving conversation this week) – Directed by James Ross II
Riley (Jasmine Mathews), plagued by severe night terrors linked to a childhood shadowed by murder-suicides, is stalked by recurring visions of a dungeon maze and a malevolent entity known as “The Seer.” Marks writer-director James Ross II’s feature debut.
What They Say: Sharply divided: Dread Central 4/5 vs. a RogerEbert.com pan; a clean case of genre-press/mainstream-critic divergence. A critic divide: horror-specialist outlets praise the nightmare logic and directorial confidence of a first-timer, while mainstream critics call it derivative and over-plotted by the third act. Genre message boards and horror-specific outlets are running considerably warmer than mainstream press – a split consistent with how Shudder originals tend to land: “true nightmare logic” earns goodwill from horror fans that mainstream critics don’t extend.
“A terrifying debut feature” with “wild paranormal lore and serious scares.” – Dread Central (4/5)
“A lifeless ball of shameless cliches and inert jumpscares struggling to earn your attention.” – RogerEbert.com
Skewed Angles to Ponder:
Also Hitting the Ether
| Title | Where | Critical note |
| Black Zombie | Theaters (Kino Lorber; NY/LA Sept. 11, expanding) | Documentary on horror’s Haitian zombie roots; Variety and Screen Anarchy call it “engaging,” insightful cultural criticism. |
| Chainsaws Were Singing | Shudder (added Sept. 7) | Estonian horror-comedy-musical; Dread Central calls it “riotous… not to be missed.” |
| Bloody Tennis | Shudder exclusive | Brutal competitive-sports horror; reviews still rolling in as of press time. |
| Prom Night (1980) | Netflix (added Sept. 9) | Jamie Lee Curtis slasher classic rejoins the library. |
| Heretic (2024) | Hulu (added Sept. 8) | Hugh Grant’s acclaimed 2024 chiller joins the Hulu library. |
This Ghoul Gruel By:
Bloody Disgusting – “10 New Horror Movies Releasing In September 2026” – https://bloody-disgusting.com/movie/3966446/10-horror-movies-releasing-in-september/
iHorror – “Everything New in Horror Streaming This Weekend: September 11 to 13, 2026” – https://ihorror.com/new-horror-streaming-this-weekend-september-11-13-2026/
Movies and Mania – “DON’T MOVE Giant spider horror! Overview and trailer” – https://moviesandmania.com/2026/07/15/dont-move-2026-creature-feature-giant-spider-monster-movie-film-overview-trailer/
Rotten Tomatoes – Don’t Move (2026) – https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/dont_move_2026
IndieWire – “‘Mārama’ Review: Fierce Māori Gothic Horror Triumph Wins SIFF 2026” – https://www.indiewire.com/criticism/movies/marama-review-siff-new-zealand-horror-1235194507/
RogerEbert.com – “Mārama movie review & film summary” – https://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/marama-gothic-horror-film-review-2026
Metacritic – Mārama Reviews – https://www.metacritic.com/movie/mrama/
RogerEbert.com – “Parasomnia review: Shudder’s latest will put you to sleep” – https://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/parasomnia-shudder-movie-review-2026
Dread Central – Parasomnia review – https://www.heavenofhorror.com/reviews/parasomnia-shudder-horror/
Variety – “‘Black Zombie’ Review: Engaging Doc on the Politics of Zombie Cinema” – https://variety.com/2026/film/reviews/black-zombie-review-1236823838/
Screen Anarchy – “BLACK ZOMBIE Review: Engaging, Insightful Work of Cultural Criticism” – https://screenanarchy.com/2026/09/black-zombie-review-engaging-insightful-work-of-cultural-criticism.html
Dread Central – “‘Chainsaws Were Singing’ Review: A Riotous Horror-Comedy Musical Not to Be Missed” – https://www.dreadcentral.com/reviews/550611/chainsaws-were-singing-review-a-riotous-horror-comedy-musical-not-to-be-missed/
TechRadar – “7 new horror movies on Netflix, Paramount+, Shudder, and more in September 2026” – https://www.techradar.com/streaming/7-new-horror-movies-on-netflix-hbo-max-shudder-and-more-in-september-2026
By Iloz Zoc
“Hello? I’ve been on hold a long time,” I said.
My phone call was turning into being about as endless as writer-director Laszlo Illes’ two hour movie, Ever After. Sitting across from me was Paul Holstenwall, smiling like the Chesire Cat. I wanted to punch him so bad for making me sit through this slasher.
“What? No. I mean yes. I’ve been on hold for forever. Look, is anyone at the League of Reluctant Reviewers available? I have this movie that needs–yes, I know it’s Labor Day, but I really–what? Are you kidding me? Everyone’s out for the week? Great. Just great.” I hung up.
I saw Zombos stepping into the room, raising my hopes. The minute he saw Paul he quickly stepped out. My hopes were dashed. Paul was still smiling. I scratched my right eyebrow and resigned myself to writing about a movie that misses its mark like William Tell in a thick fog. I took comfort in imagining I was shooting an apple off of Paul’s head. But missed, badly. …
Zombos Says: Good. Very slick and stylish, but misses some as it works harder on style than depth. Bring your earplugs if you plan on seeing this at an AMC theater. Some of my commentary may spoil your expectations.
A nod to The Guest, director Adam Wingard’s 2014 movie (along with writer Simon Barrett), also involving a military experiment gone haywire, has the troubled Celeste (Adria Arjona) shooting at carved pumpkins for target practice. A former Army sniper, she has a closet full of very lethal weapons and enough inner demons to blow those pumpkins apart, with malice. She manages the rundown trailer park, Windy Oasis, in the desert. Given the loving shot of the weapons closet early on, I was pretty darn annoyed that when hell eventually comes to Windy Oasis, all she could muster was a handgun. Sure, there’s the insanely long chainsaw to rip through doors and people, but I was still disappointed.
Not so disappointing is the synth music and 1980s grindhouse slasher-sci fi styling that carries the movie. Wingard’s imagery is intense with minimal closeups. A few strategically placed pop songs and classical music push the over the top Nazi-albino-doctor-creating-reconstituted-super soldiers to well done absurdity. Those unstoppable engines of death, with their piercing lit dots for eyes, is downright chilling to watch. A count down timer, pops up every so often to tell us when they’d be going peak destruction mode.
Going into this I was thinking of 1977’s Shockwaves with Peter Cushing as the Nazi commander in charge of the zombie super soldiers called the Death Corps. I wondered if Wingard had seen that one. Of course the action and terror in Onslaught is off the charts, but the thematic of having Nazis and neo-Nazis creating unstoppable killing machines is one trope that kind of sells itself. Overlord 2018 is another one to catch if you care to. Frankenstein’s Army 2013 is a fairly wild one too.
What keeps Onslaught from being a real killer diller are paper-thin characters, the always prevalent PTSD-laced backstory, an ex who unexpectedly drops off the kid, and some very obvious to a fault shaky-cam whenever Celeste goes toe to blow with the three psycho war machines named Cry Baby, Cockroach, and the Butcher. Before they get to Windy Oasis, though, they build their body count at Buck’s Fuel Stop, leaving one barely alive survivor who, unfortunately, meets up with the task force playing clean up after them. None of this is beyond the basics, which makes those slaughter or survival scenes so much more important to sell the movie.
Which they do, except for the shaky-cam misuse. What stands out? Their escape from the private military contractor’s facility, where the doctor’s nasty experiments are funded to a bad end result. Wingard’s styling is memorable, as any slice and dice horror scene should be. But he takes the lighting, the scoring, and the editing to heart, which is thrilling to watch. The S&M club is also intense for obvious reasons. Which begs the question, “why are neo-nazis always depicted with S&M habits? Funny how the camera held steady during that scene, but we go all shaky-blurry for the showdown action scenes. Another memorable visual is BBQ guy, which also worked as a sort of timer too, in that weird kind of horror movie way pacing.
Lean and mean gets us to the trailer park showdown as the onscreen countdown times out, after the three super soldiers steal a truck. Ever notice it’s not an American action-terror movie without guns, trucks, and macho military personnel mixing into it? Well, this one is a perfect drive-in movie that has all of that, plus a butt dance, and the over-S&M’d neo-nazis wreaking genetic terror. I was expecting more time devoted to the climax, but the ending leaves it open-ended. Wingard and Barrett left enough threads to tie up in later sequels, if they care to. Hopefully we can get to see Celeste using all those weapons from her closet next time.
By Uncle Bob’s AI
Quick View:
Zoc: This is the report AI runs for me each week. I created it to keep up to date (as much as possible) with what’s horror-happening in movies and streaming. I may tweak it now and then. Take the review blurbs and ratings with a lot of salt. I’m not a fan of ratings services. If you rely on them, the best of luck with that.
It’s a quiet week on the slate. No tentpole wide release, but two titles to note. Adam Wingard’s A24 creature-slasher Onslaught hits theaters September 4th trailing solid reviews (82% fresh) for its Guest-adjacent, John Carpenter-flavored carnage, even as critics flag a story that runs out of gas before the credits. Shudder counters the same day with Parasomnia, James Ross II’s feature debut about a woman whose night terrors start bleeding into reality. Mixed-to-positive notices praise the practical gore and dread, less so the rushed ending. Scary Movie 6 continues its critic-proof victory lap on Paramount+ (27% RT, $56M opening), and a cluster of VOD and limited-release indies: Ever After, Dark Hollow, Confinement, and more, round out a slate heavier on quantity than consensus.
Release: Theatrical (wide) — September 4, 2026, distributed by A24
Tomatometer: 82% (Fresh, 22+ reviews) Metascore: Mixed-to-positive; no aggregated score yet at filing
A former Army sniper (Arjona) becomes the last line of defense for her family when a squad of genetically engineered super-soldiers breaks loose near the same rural New Mexico town from Wingard’s The Guest, forcing her to out-monster the monsters to survive.
Critical Consensus: Praised for its gritty, practical-effects-driven ’80s action aesthetic and go-for-broke violence; docked for a story critics feel needed another draft to match its style.
Pulled Quotes
“Gloriously crafted if narratively undercooked, the action-thriller is a pretty good time. It’s just that it had seemed for a moment like it was going to be a great one.” — Angie Han, The Hollywood Reporter
“It pushes the earlier film’s exploitation-movie excesses farther, and appropriately so, suggesting Assault on Precinct 13 by way of The Prowler.” — Slant Magazine
“Fun but scattered — Wingard’s most aesthetically accomplished work yet, even when the plot can’t keep pace.” — Variety
Audience / Community Reaction: Early buzz is warmer than the critical split suggests — genre audiences on social media are responding to the practical gore and Carpenter throwback aesthetic.
Skewed Angles to Ponder:
Release: Streaming exclusive — Shudder, September 4, 2026
Tomatometer: 82% (Fresh) Metascore: Not yet available
Riley, a young woman plagued by severe night terrors rooted in a childhood marked by murder-suicide, must figure out whether the demon from her dreams has crossed into the waking world after her best friend disappears.
Critical Consensus: A strong, gory practical-effects showcase with a committed lead performance and real dread — undercut for some by a tight runtime that rushes the third act.
Pulled Quotes
“Wild paranormal lore and serious scares render Parasomnia a real winner.” — Chad Collins, Dread Central
“A bold, bloody and bloodcurdling feature debut.” — Kat Hughes, The Hollywood News
“The story becomes convoluted and strange by the third act.” — B-Sides & Badlands
Audience / Community Reaction: Festival-circuit word of mouth (Overlook, Brooklyn Horror, FrightFest) has been consistently positive on practical effects and lead performance since 2025.
Skewed Angles to Ponder:
Release: Theatrical (wide) — September 2, 2026, via Lionsgate / Grindstone Entertainment
Rotten Tomatoes: 53% (Rotten) · CinemaScore: B-
Synopsis
Two young women, played by Harriet Slater and Arsema Thomas, are left stranded 3,000 feet up after a rockslide during a plank walk in Thailand, forced to survive with dwindling resources and a long way down.
Critical Consensus
The sequel splits critics roughly down the middle — a marked decline from the original’s 80% — with most agreeing the vertigo-inducing setpieces still land even as the character work and narrative justification for a second trip up wear thin. It’s the week’s clearest example of diminishing returns on a high-concept gimmick.
Pulled Quotes
“A mostly successful sequel [that] successfully replicates the vertigo-inducing tension of the original without feeling like a carbon copy.” — Todd Gilchrist, Variety
“I felt boredom instead of unease.” — RogerEbert.com
Audience / Community Reaction
A B- CinemaScore signals a tepid but not hostile opening-night crowd — respectable for the subgenre, well off the original’s warmer reception. Genre forums are split between viewers who say the height-based tension still works on a big screen and those calling the premise exhausted the second time out.
Skewed Angles to Ponder
| Title | Where | Critical Note |
|---|---|---|
| Scary Movie 6 | Streaming — Paramount+ | 27% RT; critics call jokes stale, but biggest franchise opening ever ($56M). |
| Ever After | Limited theatrical | Indie fairy-tale slasher, girlfriends’ retreat crashed by storybook-obsessed killers. |
| Lau Chu Hoa: The Deadliest Mansion | Limited theatrical | Hong Kong chiller; livestreamers explore a haunted mansion. (This could be good: I like stuff like this 😉 |
| Dark Hollow | VOD | Appalachian creature feature — a mother hunts a coal-mine monster. |
| Confinement | VOD | Gothic dread; a widow questions if her unborn child is cursed. |
| Deathwoods | VOD | Backwoods slasher, camping-trip body count. |
| The Otherkind | VOD | Small-town creature horror in a mountain lake town. |
| Burning | IndiePix Unlimited | Mystery around a house fire and a family curse. |
| Enter the Backrooms | Hulu | Liminal space horror adapted from the internet mythos, wide release across Hulu’s September slate. |
Variety — Onslaught Review
The Hollywood Reporter — Onslaught Review
Slant Magazine — Onslaught Review
Forbes — Onslaught RT Reviews
Rotten Tomatoes — Onslaught
Dread Central — Parasomnia Review
The Hollywood News — Parasomnia Review
Daily Dead — Parasomnia Review
Horror Movie Lists — This Week’s Releases
Yahoo/CBR — Scary Movie 6 RT Score
Bloody Disgusting — September Streaming Horror
Wikipedia — Onslaught (film)
Fall 2: Deadpoint — Rotten Tomatoes
Fall 2: Deadpoint Review — Variety
Fall 2: Deadpoint Review — RogerEbert.com
Fall 2: Deadpoint CinemaScore — ComicBasics
All the Horror Heading to Streaming in September — Bloody Disgusting
7 New Horror Movies on Netflix, Shudder and More — TechRadar
For many of us, it wasn’t Halloween without die cut decorations from Beistle or Eureka, or Gurley candles, or a Ben Cooper costume (which always made me itch). Toss in the 1970’s Halloween candy scare for good measure too. The threat of razor blades in apples and spiked candy treats did give us kids the good-kind willies while we watched our parents go bananas over it. For me, the decorations and the candles were the most enticing. I must admit to always burning the darn candles after Halloween (a real Jekyll and Hyde discussion always preceded that), but I eventually grew up and…nope, I still miss the candles. However, I did hold onto the decorations though.
This 1987 Eureka Haunted Castle is a great table-top decoration, although the paper could have been thicker. I usually prop it up against a wall for good measure against droopiness. The ghost is a separate honey-comb piece that unfolds. Two little paper joints hold it in place. You then add the eyes and the left arm. You get the 3D going with the dragon and castle wall, the ghost, and the tower window that opens to reveal a skull. You can also just tape this up on a wall, but if you do that (as with any other paper decorations), put a piece of tape on the back of the paper first. Then you can loop a piece of tape onto it. That way, you can remove the loop later without peeling the paper and reuse the little paper devils for years and years.
Mexican lobby cards can be grotesque, arabesque, trashy, and classy. Here are some of the classy ones (more or less). These cards were used to entice moviegoers into the theater for a little crime, a little murder, a little horror, and a little departure from everyday life to get wrapped up in somebody else’s dreams and nightmares.
By Radio Reaper
Welcome, all lovers of 70s science-fiction movies! Welcome to my Radio Spot Reliquary.
I was just looking through my list of potential spots to highlight this go around and I came across a movie that I haven’t seen in a very long time so I thought I’d revisit it again.
Logan’s Run came out in 1976, and it is a very 70s-looking movie. It could almost pass for an ABC Movie of the Week with its studio shots and location shots in a couple of Texas towns. It is a very colorful movie and the costumes are very bright. As is usual with many science fiction movies set in the future (2274), the women wear short dresses made with skimpy material while the men remain modestly covered.
…
By JM Cozzoli
Zombos Says: Unrelenting, bleak, dark. You probably won’t want to watch this a second time, but if you are looking for soul-withering horror, this one will do it.
Director José María Cicala makes sure everyone knows he’s pulling some Lynchian surrealness and quirk into his movie, The Dollmaker (Encantador), by the hint on Tomas’s family mailbox: it says Familia Lynch. Tomás (played all too well by Rodrigo Noya) is a quirky and weird little guy wearing thick glasses, who volunteers in a clinic but clerks in the local video store called Boy Scouts where he and his co-workers dress in Boy Scout uniforms. He has some serious mom issues, so cue the Psycho leanings, but there’s also a little something borrowed from Ryan Reynolds’ often overlooked horror, The Voices, patched in here, so what’s taking place in the small town of Palacios is even more grotesquely disturbing to watch.
This movie may try at some lighter moments but forget about that: Rodrigo Noya’s incessant cuteness and blankness will have none of it. He creates an unforgettable character that is funny in appearance only. The sign just outside of town says donde nada malo puede suceder–where nothing bad happens–but that’s a lie. Young women are disappearing. Only the newly arrived police inspector (Alejo Garciá Pintos) asks questions while his bumbling partner and the chief (Mario Alarcon) don’t show concern. …
Michaels never ceases to amaze and delight with their Halloween offerings year after year. For this Halloween they have the usual staples, but here are some highlights of what really stood out for me. The cool magic-related merch drew me in immediately. I bought the Houdini and Kellar banners. Houdini died on Halloween night, so a no-brainer to include him, and magic is always mysterious and spooky, making it perfect for Halloween.
And who doesn’t like skulls, skeletons, and creepy dolls? …
By JM Cozzoli
As a card-carrying member of the The Ghost Club in London (though, bummer, can’t really attend meetings because I’m over here in the U.S.), I’ve had a long-standing interest in the paranormal, the glaringly unusual, and the bewitchingly unexplained parts of life. When the American Society for Psychical Research was still located in New York City, I would visit to peruse their library. Up front, let me tell you I’m a skeptic. Which, granted, may seem at odds with my love for the chills of the unknown tapping at my shoulder while an obtuse universe insistently winks at me with mystery. There is just something so primally enticing about trying to winnow anything that is without easy answers, especially if that something gives you goosebumps in the process. …
