I picked these up today at Halloween City. There’s a suction cup in back. You stick them in places like a drawer, cabinet, tool box–any place where sudden light can trigger the screaming. Nothing like the old sneak up and scare approach for festive Halloween fun, I say. I like the cat the most, but the skull’s sinister enough.
Zombos Closet: Good
There's a little of Soylent Green and C.H.U.D mixed in with the greens in Matthew Costello's Vacation, where zombies are replaced by humans gone cannibalistic bonkers as global warming and blight bring food shortages and dietery change. Costello's clippy writing style–lots of one-sentence paragraphs– is often too lean where it needs to thicken in detail and depth. The basic premise provides ample opportunity for action, but it's hard to shake the notion you're reading yet another zombie-that-is-not-zombie gimmick; and Costello doesn't exploit those opportunities to pile on the action or terror, which is surprising given the subject matter potential.
Can Heads are what the human-chompers are called. They're fast, smell bad, crazed, and nearly unstoppable in their one goal: dine out often. Jack Murphy's a cop in the 76th Precinct on Union Street in Brooklyn. Things aren't going well for cops: the can heads are eating their way through the boroughs, leaving the city a no-man's land of dwindling hot and cold running safe places to live. An attack on an apartment building late at night–can heads only come out at night–leaves him hurting. His captain recommends a vacation before Jack rethinks his job status, and Paterville Camp in the Adirondacks is the ideal destination.
Jack, his wife Christine, and their kids pack themselves, along with lots of fire power and C4, into his Ford Explorer and head upstate. The New York State Thruway is fenced off, manned by checkpoints, and relatively can head free. A brief pee-stop at the equivalent of a qwik-e-mart provides brief action. The rest of the trip is uneventful. I've had more action traveling the NYS Thruway myself, rest stops included.
Traveling through a few small towns to the camp provides even less action, although Costello's staccato paragraphing keeps you asking 'are we there yet?' in anticipation. When they reach Paterville Camp, which is filled with rustic cottages and surrounded by the mountains, they're greeted by Ed, the camp director, and Shana, his assistant. It's all smiles and handshakes and Jack fixating on Shana's girlish figure. Jack, being a cop, is also fixated on seeing if the place is all it's cracked up to be. Another family, the Blairs, introduce themselves, and while Christine and the kids hit the lake, Jack goes exploring.
The electrified fence, the hidden cameras, and the service road he's not allowed to use start him wondering what Paterville Camp is hiding. All that firepower he brought along comes in handy, providing the most action-packed camp activity in the novel. When the camp's secret is finally revealed you won't be surprised, but Costello supplies enough action to keep you from being disappointed.
Vacation is a snack not a ful meal, but it will tide you over until the next zombie gimmick is served up.
Five questions asked over a glowing Jack o’Lantern, under an Autumn moon obscured by passing clouds…in between mouthfuls of candy corn…with Son of Celluloid…
Why is Halloween important to you?
I’m sure this answer has been given before, but I think it’s how all horror geeks and monster kids feel. Halloween is important to me because it’s the one time of the year when the rest of the world catches up with me. There are actually things I want to watch on TV. Stores actually have things that get me excited. I’m not just playing with my makeup kit at home; I can walk the streets looking as ghastly as I want. The music I like is being played. Theaters are inundated with horror flicks.
Basically, the freaks become the norm in October. Plus, I work in a haunted attraction, Netherworld, in Atlanta, so my Halloween starts in mid September and doesn’t end until the first weekend of November. Whereas most people get to dress up and be a monster on Halloween, I get to do it every night for over a month. I get to terrorize people and do things I would go to jail for normally. It’s the moooooost wonderful tiiiiiiiime of the yeeeeeeeeeeear!
Sorry, didn’t mean to break into song there.
Describe your ideal Halloween.
As much as I love working at the haunt, I never work on the 31st. It’s a religious holiday for me. What religion you might ask? Halloween IS my religion. It’s also the only holiday that I have a lot of traditions for. My ideal Halloween would be spent more or less like I normally spend it. During the day I’d carve Jack O Lanterns and watch a tape; yes, a VHS tape I made years ago of my favorite Halloween specials (the three I’ll mention later, plus Beavis and Butthead’s “Bungholio, Lord of the Harvest, King of the Hill’s “Hilloween”, and a bunch of Simpsons “Treehouse of Horrors”). Then in the evening I would eat my Mom’s vegetable soup and cornbread (it was a Halloween tradition when I was a kid, don’t ask me why) and wait for my friends to congregate at my house. Once they got there, we’d put on our costumes and do our makeup. Actually, I’d probably do everyone’s makeup like I always do. That’s not a complaint either, I love it. As the smells of latex, collodion, and greasepaint filled the air, KISS Unplugged would be playing in the background, followed by Rocky Horror Picture Show.
There’s a story behind that combination, but it’s long and I won’t bore you. Once I spent way too long obsessing over every last drop of blood being in the right place, we’d go out hopping from party to party or haunt to haunt, scaring people, having at, and generally raising hell. About dawn, I’d stagger back into my place and fall asleep watching something old, scary, and black and white.
What Halloween collectibles do you cherish, or hate, or both?
There’s a tie for the Halloween decoration I most cherish. One, for sentimental reasons, is a cheesy spider web with a felt spider that was given to me by my Great Aunt Mary shortly before she died. Her telling me ghost stories when I was a kid was my first realization that scary stuff was fun. The other, just because it’s cool, is my pet zombie. I got him 5 or 6 years ago at Spencers. These days I keep him in my car. It’s a lot of fun at drive-through windows, parking lots, red lights, etc. People freak out! It’s hilarious.
While I don’t really dig the cutesy Halloween decorations, I wouldn’t say I hate them. I’ll just go with the one aspect of Halloween that I DO hate: candy. This will be the second Halloween since I was diagnosed diabetic, so all the candy corn and fun-sized goodness taunts me endlessly. Don’t mind me, I’m just bitter.
When was your very first Halloween, the one where you really knew it was Halloween, and how was it?
I kinda discovered what Halloween was in stages. My father was a southern Baptist minister, so I grew up very religious. Luckily they weren’t the “Halloween is Satan’s holiday” types. I got to participate, but the horror aspects of it weren’t kosher in my house.
My first Halloween memory is actually my earliest memory at all. I was four, and was going out trick or treating with the other neighborhood kids. That’s me, the Viking, in the photograph. I remember being fascinated by my friend Joanne’s homemade robot costume. I also remember how much fun it was to get to go out after dark, dress up, and get candy. Then, in 1987, I made a tape off of the TV that included It’s the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown, Garfield’s Halloween Adventure, and DTV: Monster Hits.
If you aren’t familiar with that last one, look it up. You’ll be glad you did. Anyway, this became my favorite thing to watch, period. Year round it was playing constantly. These introduced me to the scary “bats, ghosts, and black cats” aspect of the holiday. Halloween was still about dressing up, but from then on it had an air of the arcane, unknown, and forbidden that fascinated and thrilled me.
What’s the one Halloween question you want to be asked and what’s your answer?
Q: What is the one thing that sometimes drives me nuts about Halloween?
A: Well, I’m glad you asked. It’s the same thing that drives me nuts about some other holidays too. Halloween is October 31. Always has been, always will be. Halloween is NOT “the weekend closest to the 31st.” Halloween is Halloween dammit! When I was a kid, Halloween was whatever night the 31st was on whether it was a school night or not. I don’t care if you have to go to work the next day.
I know I’m not the only one (by a long shot) that’s gone to work with a fresh Halloween hangover. Halloween is supposed to be celebrated on Halloween. When do we open Christmas presents? That’s right, December Twenty Freakin’ Fifth, no matter what day of the week it is. Halloween deserves at least as much respect as Christmas.
On Monday, October 31, 2011, I wanna see people dressed up and having a spooky good time, not saying “well, I did my celebrating over the weekend.” You got that? Ok, sorry folks, I just had to rant for a second. I’ll get off of my soapbox now.
In closing, I’d just like to say, from all of us here at Son of Celluloid (meaning me), HAPPY HALLOWEEN!