From Zombos' Closet

The 4 Stages of Your Writing Career By Scott M. Baker

There’s an old joke that states an author has four stages in his or her career. There’s the first stage when a reader walks into a bookstore, lifts your book off of the shelf and asks, “Who the hell is Scott M. Baker?”

There’s the second stage when a reader walks into the bookstore and asks the sales clerk, “Do you have the latest book by Scott M. Baker?”

There’s the third stage when a reader walks into the bookstore and asks the sales clerk, “Do you have any books by authors who write like Scott M. Baker used to?”

And finally the fourth stage when a reader walks into a bookstore, lifts your book off of the shelf and asks, “Who the hell is Scott M. Baker?”

For anyone who has been published, there’s too little humor and too much reality in that joke.

Every author has to endure that first stage. Even Stephen King and J. K. Rowling were unknown entities at one time, at least until readers became aware at how incredibly adept they were at story telling. Now they’re household names. If only the rest of us were that lucky.

The sad truth, however, is that most authors will never make it beyond the first stage. If they’re really fortunate. If they’re good at telling a story, or developing great characters, or writing catchy dialogue. If they’re lucky enough to find a publisher who will distribute their books nationally. If the day their book comes out they’re not competing with an instant bestseller such as a kiss-and-tell book from one of Tiger Wood’s mistresses, or the latest Dan Brown tome, or a diet plan on how to lose weight by eating red velvet cheese cake, or the biography of a pet the cover of which is adorned with an incredibly cute ball of fur. And if, over time, they are fortunate enough to develop a small, loyal cabal of readers who will follow them regularly and read everything they write, then an author might pull in enough money annually to make ends meet (as long as they have an understanding spouse with a really good day job).

Depressed yet?

If you said no, then you truly are a writer. Not necessarily a good writer. Or a prolific writer. Or a rich and famous writer. But a writer, nonetheless. Someone consumed by the hunger of putting words to paper. Someone who can listen to a quirky story on the news or spot a unique looking individual on the street, and within an hour have the plot of a story or novel mentally outlined. Someone who brings their laptop on vacation because you can’t relax and enjoy yourself if you haven’t written something that day. For us, the writing is the passion, and seeing a complete story or novel in print is reward enough (though none of us will shut the door on fame and fortune if it comes knocking).

For those of you following me, you know that I have entered that dreaded first stage of the writer’s career. The first two books of my vampire trilogy are in print, with the third scheduled for publication this October. My first zombie novel should be out in 2012. Now I have to come to grips with the reality that writing the first novel and getting it published was the easy part. There will be plenty of work in the months ahead to market myself and attract readers, with the goal of reaching stage two. It’s going to be a long road, with no guarantee I’ll reach my goal.

For those of you who are just starting your writing career, over the next few weeks I’ll be offering some words of advice on how to get that first novel written and published. Will it guarantee you success as a writer?  No. Will it be depressing yet irreverent? Yes on both counts. My goal is hopefully to encourage beginning authors to pursue their passion and to let you know you are not alone.  

So get your notebooks ready.

 

About Scott M. Baker

Born and raised outside of Boston, Massachusetts, I’m a horror/urban fantasy author who now lives in northern Virginia. I’ve authored several short stories, including “Rednecks Shouldn’t Play with Dead Things” (which appeared in the autumn 2008 edition of the e-zine Necrotic Tissue); “Cruise of the Living Dead” (which appeared in Living Dead Press’ Dead Worlds: Volume 3 anthology); “Deck the Malls with Bowels of Holly” (which appeared in Living Dead Press‘ Christmas Is Dead anthology); “Denizens” (which appeared in Living Dead Press’ The Book of Horror anthology); and the e-chapbook “Dead Water” by D’Ink Well Publications.

My most recent works include The Vampire Hunters trilogy, which is being published both in electronic format (by Shadowfire Press) and print (by Pill Hill Press). Recently, I signed a contract with Permuted Press to publish in 2012 my first zombie novel, Rotter World, which details the struggle between humans and vampires during a zombie apocalypse. And I’m finishing up my fifth novel, which will be a homage to the monster movies of the 1950s set in northern New Mexico.

Please visit my website at http:\\scottmbakerauthor.blogspot.com.

Meet the Author: Paul Bibeau

Paul Bibeau's Sunday's With Vlad is a monsterkid's dream journey, a wild carnival ride, and a sheer delight as Jeffrey Lyons would say. Spend a Sunday or two with Paul and Vlad, or while away a weekday at his Goblin Books blog, or meet him right now...in his own words...near a dark desk.

 

Let me tell you about the dead men hidden in my office.

Twenty years ago when I was a recent graduate from college I took a job as a reporter for a small town newspaper. I lived over the bingo hall of the local Catholic church, I smoked a pack a day of Camels unfiltered, and when the night came over that place and it turned a rich country dark...I went out walking. I talked to vagrants, drug dealers, and cops. I snagged a dinner invitation from a man who'd turned his property into some kind of paramilitary fortress, like he was ready for an attack. The local criminals threatened me because they thought I was an undercover cop. And the real undercover cop, standing nearby and wearing a wire, recorded it all. I saw things and did things I will never forget.

Ten years ago, when I was a magazine writer living in New York City, I took a trip back to the town, took notes, and began writing a novel about my experiences. It was filled with death and crime and sexual perversion, and the sharp-sweet and terrible smell of that paper mill that dominated the whole region. I hated it and I miss it. The novel took three years of my life and went through four drafts. It was a piece of crap.

Seriously. My best friend took me out for drinks and told me how bad it was as gently as he could. I still have some of the rejection letters from agents -- there were more than a hundred. The novel had great parts, but they didn't add up to a great novel. Someone once said you write a good novel twice and a bad novel over and over.  That's exactly right. I am a big proponent of rewriting and editing, but a novel has a window of time in which you can either make it right or fail forever. How many of our life's moments are like that? How many perfect near-misses do you have?

Anyway, now I look at the thing and I see the 20 year-old man I once was, who lived in this world and let it break his heart... and the 30 year-old man who tried to write about it and couldn't. Those men are gone. I can't get them back.

But someday soon, I promise you, friendly reader...I will write the story of a 40 year-old with a stack of paper in a dark desk drawer. He has his secrets and his regrets, and he realizes to make this story right, he will have to solve the mystery at the heart of it -- a murder, actually. But isn't every failed story a bit like a murder? I will write it as boldly as I can, until the old authors come back to me and speak their secrets. I need to do it soon.

My time is running out.

Interview: On Writing Horror With Lee Thomas

Author Lee Thomas writes horror, queer horror, slightly bent horror, and more than horror. If you've read his I'm Your Violence short story in Unspeakable Horror: From the Shadows of the Closet, I don't really need to tell you how he writes it. In that story he brought guilt, retribution, pasty gore, and gruesome death from under the pillow, leaving a nasty stain of reflection to think about. 

In an interview you said writing has always been a part of your life. Why is that?

I'm not sure of the "why" of it. It probably had something to do with childhood insecurity. I wasn't (and am still not) very comfortable around people, and I didn't express myself well verbally; but if I had the opportunity to write an idea down and tinker with it, I was able to convey my thoughts with some form of clarity. In the third grade I wrote short stories and puppet show scripts. I wrote my first novel when I was sixteen. It was a really bad werewolf novel and the character names kept changing, but a lot of it ended up informing my first published novel, Stained.

Though I've been writing most of my life, I didn't really try to sell my work until about eight years ago, and since then I've seen dozens of my short stories published, along with 10 novels (for adults and young adults) and a handful of non-fiction pieces.

You like to write horror fiction: tell us about your monsterkid influences as you grew up, and how they affected your writing.

I think my first exposure to horror was catching Frankenstein on television. There was that moment when the "monster" turned to the camera from a doorway and it scared the hell out of me. I liked it. So, I spent a lot of time looking to repeat that thrill. I watched anything with a creature in it, from Hammer films to Toho giant monster flicks. When I started reading "real" books, around 10 or 11 years old, I jumped in head first, reading Stoker's Dracula, Blatty's The Exorcist, and anything else I could get my hands on. Then I was exposed to James Herbert and early Stephen King, and a whole slew of really awful mass-market novels, some of which were brilliantly bad.

The older I grew, the more discriminating I became in what I read, and the sheer pulpy fun of the bulk of those mass-market titles took a backseat to more accomplished writing with greater depth of character and intricacy of plot (a la Peter Straub). Then Barker came along and brought a different sensibility to the genre that blew me away. Joe R. Lansdale was another great influence. In my own writing I keep trying to find the balance between intellectual and emotional engagement and the extremely fun gut-punch of the pulps I loved as a kid. One of these days, I'll get it right.

What is your daily routine for writing?

Oh that I had one. I've been writing full time for about 5 years now, but no pattern has emerged, except that I wake every day intending to write and I usually get something done everyday. Sometimes my entire day's production will take place before noon. Other times, I need some TV, reading or video game action to wake the brain up, so it might not be until afternoon or evening before I get to work. Some projects, like The Dust of Wonderland, come in a flood and I'm obsessed from the time I wake up until I crash, and I spend every available minute on them. Others move at a more leisurely pace. If I'm researching, which I've found I enjoy, a whole day can pass as I follow one thread of
information to another.

Really important question: having grown up in Seattle, are you a tea or coffee drinker?

Coffee. Morning, noon, and night. There aren't enough hours in the day for all of the coffee I want to drink.

Which authors does Lee Thomas read and why should we read them too?

I covered the early influences above (and I'm still reading most of them). I discovered Thomas Tessier, Graham Joyce, and Jack Ketchum more recently (in the last 10 years or so), and I've gone back and devoured their work. Newer authors I enjoy include Joe Hill, Tim Lebbon, Sarah Langan, Brian Keene, Tom Piccirilli, Laird Barron, Gary Braunbeck, Jim Moore, David Wellington, and a handful of emerging folks like Nate Southard, Joe McKinney, Paul Tremblay, John Langan, Nick Kaufmann, Joel Lane, and others I'm sure I'm forgetting.

Outside of genre I'm reading James Lee Burke, Russell Banks, Michael Cunningham, Armistead Maupin, John Irving, Ken Bruen, and going back, as I always do, to Hemingway, Steinbeck, Capote, and Baldwin.

What about horror movies?

Wow, just about everything, from ultra-bad slashers to brilliant mind-screws. Universal classics, particularly The Wolf Man; Hammer Studios; Italian horror from Bava, Fulci, and Argento; The Evil Dead trilogy; The Exorcist; The first few Romero zombie films; Carpenter's The Thing, Halloween, and The Fog; Stuart Gordon's work (with a soft spot for his film Dolls); about one-third of Wes Craven's films; a good amount of Asian Horror with big love for Ringu, Ju-On, and Cure. Of the recent spate of remakes I've enjoyed My Bloody Valentine 3-D, Friday the 13th, and Dawn of the Dead.

What does it take to become a successfully published author in today's market?

I imagine it takes what it always has: hard work, which includes pushing yourself to improve your craft; persistence in sending your work out; and a bit of luck in getting the right story in front of the right eyes (which can be managed through persistence). Beyond that it can take a good amount of patience. This is the thing that's tough for a lot of new writers to get their minds around.

Authors sign bad--sometimes pure-crap--deals on their work just to have it out there fast (I know I did early on). This does them, their careers, and their readers a great disservice. Granted some authors have found short cuts with online publishing, podcasting, self-publishing, and other new media, and for some it has translated into success, like Monster Island author David Wellington who first published his books as blog posts. Eventually the publishing dynamic is going to shift dramatically as a result of new media, but right now, the traditional route to publication is still firmly in place, and that means an author may have to wait a very long time to see his/her work reputably published.

What can we expect from you in the future?

My short story collection, In the Closet, Under the Bed, which collects 15 of my queer-themed short stories, will be out December 15th from Dark Scribe Press. I'm thrilled about this one; it's a unique horror collection to be sure. Plus, I have some new short stories coming out, including "Nothing Forgiven," which will appear in Darkness on the Edge from PS Publishing, and "Inside Where It's Warm," a zombie story I wrote for a forthcoming anthology edited by Joe McKinney.

There are a couple of others I can't talk about right now. My novella The Black Sun Set will be released next year by Burning Effigy Press out of Canada, and a novella collaboration I did with Nate Southard called Focus will also be hitting in 2010. Other things are in the works but I can't comment until contracts are signed.

Interview: Kevin James Breaux

Artist and author Kevin James Breaux is about to be snatched up by Dark Quest Books for his Fantasy novel Soul Born, making it his first published novel. Before he becomes famous and it all goes to his head, let's interview him about his horror, his fantasy, and his art. He writes short stories and novels about zombies, vampires, and fairies with equal ease, and his artwork can be seen in Zombie CSU: The Forensic Science of the Living Dead and They Bite!

 

What's a typical writing-day-in-the-life of Kevin James Breaux like?

Basically I like to break my writing into two hour segments. If I have editing to do; that is normally done first and as early in the day as possible. Normally I work at my writing from 10-noon and again noon to 2pm. If I'm lucky and there are not too many distractions I will try and work later in the day as well, but that's normally less structured, kinda like guerrilla warfare style writing; mobile and hit and run.

You tend toward thriller-styled horror and urban fantasy in your writing. Are there differences between the two?

I like to write stories that are character driven. I started off as a fantasy writer, because it was what I knew from growing up playing all the RPG games. Then after being challenged to write outside my normal comfort zone, by Jonathan Maberry after joining his chapter of the HWA, I realized I could do what I wanted in almost any genre. I tend to lean towards things of the fantastic nature. Thriller-Horror and Urban Fantasy are, in my opinion, very closely related. Both deal with subject matter outside our daily reality. I would love to write a comic book story some day, something with super heroes.

Interview: Jonathan Maberry Vampire Hunters and Other Things

It is always a pleasure to speak with Jonathan Maberry, one of the hardest working authors on the scene today. He stopped by the closet recently to discuss comic book writing and his other projects...and pay close attention to that brief mention about a novelization in the works for an upcoming movie. It's something to howl with delight about...

I was all set with a bunch of questions regarding your Marvel Comics scripting, but you've answered them already in another interview. There is one thing I'm curious about, though: how did you handle the panel by panel flow of the comic story, and how detailed were your scripts for the artist?

In the gap between Marvel reaching out to ask me if I wanted to write for them (world’s dumbest question) and getting my first assignment, I read a boatload of comics and studied the modern form. Comics have evolved since the days when I first read them. I took a few and practiced writing the scripts for them. Kind of a retro-engineering approach. Then Marvel sent me some sample scripts. Turns out I was pretty close to the mark.

But there’s more to it than that, of course. Like anything there are tricks to the trade that the most experienced comic book writers know. Guys like Garth Ennis, Steve Niles and Alan Moore make it look effortless, but there’s a lot that goes into it.

It’s also a team process. The writer pitches a story to the editor, who usually makes a few changes to more smoothly fit it into the long-range plans for that title and to work it into the overall continuity of Marvel. Then the writer hands in a beat sheet that outlines the story based on where the story points will fall on the pages. When that’s approved, the writer does the script. My first story was a 32-page special (Punisher: Naked Kill), my second was an 8-page Wolverine short (Ghosts, the back-up feature in Wolverine: The Anniversary).

The writer decides on the number of panels per page and gives the artist an idea of what should be in the panels. That sounds simple, but it isn’t. For some panels you can be very simple, like:

Tight on Black Panther as she reacts.

Some panels require much more direction, like:

Inside Deadalus Tower MICKEY FANE is introducing the place to some prospective customers. He’s tall, handsome in an oily way. A Tony Stark on the Dark side of the Force. Nicely dressed, big smile, rings, expensive watch. He’s center stage talking to two Middle Eastern-looking men in dark suits. Behind him we see Frank and Dirtbox coming through the revolving door. The lobby of Deadalus Tower is polished marble, brass, huge windows. Lots of people, a security desk with guards.

 

Interview: Anton Strout in An Urban Fantasy

It was around midnight when author Anton Strout left the Penguin Group offices. Hustle and bustle, bustle and hustle, had filled his day, and now he was heading to the Cafe Borgia on Bleecker Street to coax a little more bustle from his tired brain, hoping to finish book three of his four book contract for Simon Canderous, the Department of Extraordinary Affairs' lone psychometrist, and his series of urban fantasy adventures.

With thoughts of Earl Grey, Oolong, and perhaps even--would he be so adventurous?--green tea buzzing around his gray cells as he briskly walked through the streets of Greenwich Village, he did not notice one of his shoelaces had come undone; that is, until he tripped head first onto the pavement. As he regained his composure and tied the lace with a tight double-knot, he noticed the edge of a bright gold disc sticking out from under his heel. He moved his foot, picked up the disc, and adjusted his glasses and his position to the street light to get a better view. Well I'll be...it's a gold coin, he thought, moving his lips as if he were about to whistle.

"Ow! Yer got me fer sure, that's the truth."

Anton Strout looked around, then down. A two-foot tall fellow looked up at him. He wore a bright green jogging suit, large Nike Air Zoom Dunkesto Blue sneakers--he had unusually large feet for such a small fellow--and a bright yellow cap covered his blazing red hair. Anton Strout re-adjusted his glasses, blinked his eyes a few times, and moved his lips in a soundless whistle again.

"If'n it's not Madoff makin' off with all me savin's, and this blasted recession puttin' the touch onta me investments, now I've gone an' spilled a coin of me precious realm and you's there at the wrongest of moments. Well, I spose you'll be wantin' me treasure, then? C'mon man, close yer mouth and exercise yer wits, I hain't got all night." The small fellow tapped his big right foot with impatience.

A cell phone started ringing. They looked at each other.

"Well, t'isn't mine. I got Flogging Molly's Black Friday Rule on mine, yer know."

"Oh, sorry." Anton Strout answered his cell phone. "Yes, this is he. Who? ILoz Zuc? What's that? Oh, you mean you're ILoz Zoc, Zombos’s butler. What’s that? Sorry, valet then. From where? Oh, I see, you want to do an interview? Sure, how about I call...what? You want to do the interview now? Well, I’m in the middle of…? Okay, look, give me a minute and I'll call you right back, ok? Okay, fine."

The small fellow stopped tapping his right foot and started tapping his big left foot. Faster.

"Now what's this about your treasure? Are we talking hundreds, thousands?" asked Anton Strout, putting his cell phone away. Thoughts of cool ocean breezes, frothy banana daiquiris, and sleep-filled nights joined to leisurely-paced days replaced those of teas and slushy piles.

"Now t'would a self-respectin' gentleman like me self, who's been round these parts fer many a summer, be frettin' o'er a measlin' thousands? Me fine young man, t'is the overflowin' pot o'gold you've tripped into, and wealth beyond yer beyondist dreams. Enough to keep yer in honey and clover, ten times ten times ten times over. And just me luck, too. I knew I should'a not been so stingy and taken a cab. Oh, well. But time's a wastin' and I got--"

Anton Strout's cell phone rang again. "Sorry." He answered it. "Hello? Oh, listen Ilzoc--sorry, Zoc then. I'm kind of busy right now and, what's that? You've sent the questions by text message? Alright. Alright, I'll take a look and get back to you." As he flipped the cell phone open to view the message, the gold coin slipped out of his hand. Before it could drop to the pavement, the little fellow snatched it away with a smile bigger than his feet. Like the Chesire Cat, that smile lingered a long moment after the rest of him vanished in a puff of smoke.

"Oh, dear," said Anton Strout to no one in particular.

His cell phone started ringing again. He looked down at the pavement one last time before continuing his walk to Cafe Borgia. When he got there, he ordered Earl Grey tea and poured lots of honey into it. It still tasted bitter. He answered the interview questions, worked some more on his third novel, and always kept his eyes glued to the pavement when he walked the long way home every night from then on.

 

How did a nice writer like you get caught up in urban fantasy? Why not write some nasty horror, or high-brow sci-fi epic?

I never set out with a goal in mind or even a genre-oriented thought. I just had an idea about a guy who had this power of psychometry, but he wasn't the best at controlling it. It's not the first thing I wrote, but it's probably my favorite and I was lucky when I finished because I looked at it and said, "Oh, huh! There's a genre called urban fantasy that this falls into… neat!" That, and I really missed Buffy, so I wanted to do some horror with humor.

What was Anton Strout like as a kid?

I was devilishly handsome and the star quarterback of the football team who made the winning touchdown at the state championship. Or not. I was an only child who loved watching those Americanized bad imports of Star Blazers and Battle of the Planets. I built Lego starships with the two other nerd kids in my hometown. Around ten my friend introduced me to my now lifelong love affair with Dungeons and Dragons. We were the kind of kids who would put on motorcycle helmets to beat on each other with fake swords we made behind the teacher's back in woodshop. We'd get together with friends and shoot Roman Candles at each other's cardboard armor, casting "Magic Missile." Good times… it's amazing I don't have more scar tissue. Warning: Kids, don't try this at home! Everyone else, don't do it either… apparently--and this is a little known fact--cardboard is VERY flammable!

Writing is a tough job. How do you keep up your motivation and your energy?

I have these things called deadlines and they pay me money for turning my books in. Those are pretty good motivators… that and the fact that since my day job is in publishing, my editor happens to be just down the hall and will come kill me if I don't deliver. Also, it's a tough job, but it's a job I love to do. It would be like paying me to play D&D for a living. And there's also the reward of sharing my stories and having discussions with people about them… it's a very driving force.

That said, there are days I just tell myself to sit the hell down and write cuz ya gotta. But more often than not, I'm happy to be doing it and feel lucky that I get to share the stories in my brain meat with others.

As an editor, can you give us some insight into the pitfalls a newbie should watch out for when writing that great first novel? And also some advice from your author's side?

I'm only an editor when I'm working on my own books to turn them in in a writer's capacity. My day job is in paperback sales.. but here's some advice to the newbie.

Your brain hates you. It will go to great lengths to try and stop you from writing with many a distraction. Tough. Sit your ass down and write. It doesn't have to be perfect, or even close to perfect, as long as it gets down on the page. It's a lot easier to edit and rewrite 300 pages of something than it is 0 pages of nothing. It's okay to suck when you're writing your book. It's called a FIRST draft for a reason, implying many other drafts to follow. So go get your suck on!

Where do you see the book publishing field in ten years, given the Internet, ebooks, and the print on demand aspects of our modern age?

I think paper books will always be around. I think there's something about the tactile sensation of holding a book in your hands that just won't go away. We see magazines going only digital because of production and distribution costs, but I think books are safe for now. My day job is in the sales department at Penguin Group, and I see the industry as a whole looking at ways to expand into the digital markets. It's a slow build because it's uncharted water for a lot of them, but I think certain formats will hold. Kindle, Sony Reader, iPhone apps… also, with the current economy, the mass market price point is looking really good to people right now who had declared its death knell in the face of abundant trade paperbacks.

Who are your favorite authors and how have they influenced your writing?

I think my humorous writing style is a blend of my love of Douglas Adams, Robert Asprin, and Joss Whedon. I'm also a huge Lovecraft and Stephen King fan, which I think explains the darker side of what I write in urban fantasy. I think if I saw any of the horrors in those books in real life, I'd have to quip and make fun of them to keep my own sanity, which is what a lot of my characters do to keep from the darkness.

Tell us about your blog.

There's two, really. One is my Livejournal, under the cryptic moniker antonstrout, which people often wonder why Anton's Trout has a blog. I assure you, he does not. That's my dumping ground for all things personal and professional, with a bit of helpful writer advice thrown in ever so sparingly now and again. The other blog is The League of Reluctant Adults, a group blog with about 17 other genre writers. There's drinking, swearing, poop jokes… that's where more of the authorial shenanigans come out. I encourage everyone to stop by.

What's the one question you would love to be asked, and what's your answer?

Can we pay you enough so you can stop doing two jobs and just write for a living? My answer is: Where do I sign?

 

Interview: David Wellington Night of the Sugar Eating Fiends

"They're coming! Barricade the door!" I threw the hammer to Zombos and held a plank of wood in place across the doorframe. "The nails, the nails! Who has the nails?" screamed Zombos as the sound of pounding increased.

We turned to Chef Machiavelli. He stood like stone with his hands over his ears. His eyes stared into oblivion. His mind had retreated to a safer place where the Food Channel was running an all-day marathon only he could see.

"Here!" shouted Pretorius, our groundskeeper, over the ever increasing pounding on the front door. He tossed over the box of nails. Both Zombos and I reached for it too soon, jammed our fingers, and sent the box flipping end over end, spilling nails out of reach.

"Oh, Lord. We are toast," sobbed Zombos. But then the pounding stopped. We breathed deeply, waiting for something else to happen. I was shaking, and Zombos showed his age more than usual.

"Who's the damn fool who put those toothbrushes into our trick or treat bags anyway?" asked Pretorius.

Zombos and I looked at each other. At the same time we uttered the same name. "Zimba." Only Zimba, Zombos' wife, would dare to commit such a heinous act on the spookiest night of the year.

"Hell of a damn thing to do," said Pretorius. "You might as well go dancing over graves or give McDonald's McDollars if you want to rile up the little monsters and invite doom."

Interview: Victoria Blake of Underland Press

Victoria Blake is the founder and publisher of Underland Press. She started the company after three years as a prose editor at Dark Horse Comics, in charge of the production of the Aliens, Predator, Hellboy, and Lankhmar novels. She came to book publishing from a career in newspapers, having worked as both a hard news and features reporter. Currently completing an MFA in fiction at the Warren Wilson Program for Writers, she holds a bachelor’s degree from Barnard College at Columbia University.

Publisher Victoria Blake steps into the closet for a chat about her upstart, Underland Press, which dares to make wovel (web novel) a word to remember...

What creative urge inspired you to start Underland Press?

I read Brian Evenson’s amazing novella, “The Brotherhood of Mutilation.” I’d never read anything like that before—the prose was so spare and yet the world he created was so alive. I fell in love. When Brian told me that he was writing a follow-up novella, I knew that if there was any way for me to publish both as one book, that’s what I wanted to do. I had been thinking about leaving Dark Horse—I already had a business plan and I’d gotten my printer bids and I had a rough financial projection. The start of Underland was when Brian said I could have the book as my first title.

Interview: The Dead Books

Many bitch that we don’t read anymore, but I don’t think that’s true. I think many are just waiting for the novel to catch up with their expectations of entertainment. There will always be a place for word on paper, but what DeadBooks.com represents is where the novel may be headed: what its true potential can be once it’s ripped free from the wood.--Hasso Wuerslin, author of The Deadbooks.

It is close to 10:00 PM on a Sunday night and I am reading, watching, and listening to The Deadbooks, Hasso Wuerslin's self-termed hyper-serialization of the unpublished science-fiction and horror novels in his Deadbooks series. Chapter One had me thinking he needs to work on his Flash skills more. By Chapter Two, I started getting into the  mysterious town of Landsgate, Vermont, and the greatly confused Will Lant,  who is not sure why he is where he is, or what the dreadful mistake is he thinks he's made. Those 'Missing Person Will Lant' posters he keeps coming across don't cheer him much either, especially when everyone else is missing in the small town. By Chapter Three, I wanted to learn more about the home of Eddie Ranch--'who looked bug-shit crazy'--and what was in the cellar. The Deadbooks hyper-serialization, in spite of the loading...loading...loading message that pulsed between pagescreens, began to intrigue me and my interest in the story grew from chapter to chapter.

Maybe Wuerslin is on to something here. It's rough around the edges, sure, and sometimes the voiceovers grate on your ears, but given where printed media, audiobooks, gaming, and the Internet are poised in this digital age, Wuerslin may be a pioneer in creating a novel experience by immersing the hyper-reader into his bizarre world of Landsgate, Vermont. This hints at other applications beyond the Internet. I recently visited my local Borders book store and stood amazed at the 75th Anniversary issue of Esquire Magazine with it's electronic ink (e-Ink) cover. It was primitive, true, but I was giddy all the same. Within a few years, we will be reading, listening, and interacting with our electronic paper magazines and books in ways that will combine what we do separately now in various mediums. Who says wireless reading devices like the Kindle cannot be used more creatively with multimedia-stylized novels--something short of a game but more than a printed novel, in much the same way that Wuerslin is e-Publishing his stories now.

According to Wuerslin, The Deadbooks encompasses 150 chapters, involves 100 actors (okay, his friends and family I am sure), and the cutting-edge sounds of musical artists worldwide to provide a mash-up of story-telling techniques. You can experience the first seven chapters, then pay a small amount to read the rest.

I asked Wuerslin to step into the closet for a brief chat about his work.

Interview: Austin Williams Exploited

The body on the floor spread like the hands of a giant clock, with the arms pointing to ten and the legs tucked tightly together at the half-hour mark. Drops of crimson marked the second hand sweep around the chapter ring, and the contents of the small room stood at the various hour marks around that ring. At twelve stood a chipped desk with a Remington-noiseless laptop on it. The laptop's standby mode had been turned off, and at three stood a leather sofa that showed signs of too many sleepless nights spent tossing and turning on it.

A forensic photographer was sweeping around the body in a clockwise direction, taking shot after shot. Every now and then he paused, appeared to suppress an urge to move something in front of his lens to a better position, then continued. He had an annoying habit of popping the gum he was chewing every time he snapped a shot.

"You about done Brady?" asked the detective, pulling on his right ear, which was a tad shorter than his left. No matter how hard or how often he pulled on it, it didn't get any longer.

The photographer took another few shots. "Yeah, okay, that'll do it. Who is this stiff anyway?

"Some sleaze author. Name's Austin Williams. He just wrote a fictitious book about some fictitious exploitation film called Crimson Orgy. No publisher had the balls to bring it to print except, I hear, Borderlands Press.

"Take a looksy," said another detective standing by the laptop. "Looks like he was chatting up a storm with some goofball blog site called Zombos Closet. Some sort of interview."

They huddled around the small screen and read the interview, hoping to find a clue.

 

What inner demon inspired you to chronicle this whole sordid affair in Crimson Orgy?

I don’t know about inner demons but it’s fair to say Crimson Orgy is the byproduct of countless hours wasted watching some extremely dubious movies. At least I used to think they were wasted. Since I got a book out of all that cinematic dreck I now have to conclude it was a worthwhile expenditure of time.

You often mention Herschell Gordon Lewis's film, Blood Feast, in Crimson Orgy. Why is that?

That movie is the prototype for the movie at the center of my book. The release of Blood Feast in 1963 was a watershed event, not only for exploitation cinema but American pop culture at large. Absurd as that might sound, it’s true and has been noted by Danny Peary, John McCarty and other film historians. Prior to Blood Feast, graphic violence was taboo in cinema. Obviously, gore had been a staple of 20th century popular entertainment in other forms, from the Grand Guignol Theatre in Paris to the great E.C. horror comics of the ‘50s. It was inevitable, perhaps, that blood and guts would eventually make their way to the silver screen, but that’s easy to say with half a century of hindsight.

Back in ‘63, Blood Feast didn’t just push the boundaries of good taste, it deliberately demolished them. The whole appeal of the movie was its glaring lack of anything redeemable. Carnage for the sake of carnage, period. For better or worse, director Herschell Gordon Lewis and producer David Friedman redefined cinematic violence and horror with Blood Feast. Our culture has never been quite the same since. Whether this pioneering pair deserves praise or damnation is a matter of personal opinion, but their contribution can’t be denied.

What is it about exploitation cinema that's captured your passion?

For one thing, exploitation movies from the early to mid-’60s dealt explicitly with subject matter that Hollywood could not even obliquely reference at the time. Sex, violence, insanity, addiction, disrespect for authority... everything a good story needs, basically. Mainstream movies eventually caught up as the ‘70s approached, with Bonnie & Clyde making explicit bloodshed acceptable and Last Tango In Paris doing the same for sex. Those are just two examples, but iconic ones. The question is whether those movies could ever have been made, much less released, in a society that hadn’t been at least marginally exposed to the work of filmmakers like H.G. Lewis and Russ Meyer.

Another source of interest is that exploitation movies often provide a much clearer picture of their respective era than mainstream films released at the same time. This is because filmmakers like Lewis had no money to spend on wardrobe, props, locations, etc. The actors wore their own clothes and scenes were shot in personal homes, apartments, or motel rooms. In this way, exploitation films are essentially glorified home movies and offer a certain intimate fascination that’s impossible to fabricate on a soundstage. Finally, movies like Blood Feast are an embarrassment of riches for people who, like myself, appreciate the “so bad it’s good” school of cinema. Unintentionally hilarious, mind-numbingly inept and yet genuinely disturbing, there’s just nothing quite like a Herschell Gordon Lewis production.

The events in Crimson Orgy pretty much take place in one general area: Hillsboro Beach, Florida. What's the significance of this area in the history of exploitation cinema?

For a brief window in the 1960s, Miami was the exploitation film capital of the world. Aside from Lewis and Friedman, filmmakers like Doris Wishman set up shop down there and churned out countless Z-grade features for drive-in screens across America. One of the key elements of Crimson Orgy is that the filmmakers find themselves forced to operate in an alien, slightly hostile environment. Hillsboro Beach is a tiny rural community about 90 miles north of Miami, very remote and under the jurisdiction of a redneck deputy. Crimson Orgy’s production team needs total isolation in order to make the type of movie they have in mind, but aren’t prepared to handle the consequences of the events they set in motion.

Meyer and Hoffman, the director and producer of Crimson Orgy, stand prominent in my mind as fully-developed characters, though I can't put my finger on exactly why. Are they based on real-life counterparts?

Shel Meyer and Gene Hoffman are purely original characters but it’s fair to say that Lewis, Friedman and others on the Miami exploitation scene served as prototypes. Something Weird Video has done an incredible job in releasing hundreds of obscure exploitation titles on DVD, offering tons of bonus material including audio interviews. Lewis and Friedman, who had a falling out in the late ‘60s and didn’t speak for years, got together to offer their memories about the three gore movies they made together: Blood Feast, 2000 Maniacs! and Color Me Blood Red. Both men are extremely engaging and their commentaries definitely offered some inspiration, but the characters in my book are not based on anyone in particular. Meyer and Hoffman have to take full responsibility for all the trouble they cause in making Crimson Orgy.

In the story, Barbara gets Meyer to open up about an antisemitic experience involving his mother that contributes to her death. Of all your characters in Crimson Orgy, he's the one you put the most history on. Why?

Shel Meyer is the driving force behind Crimson Orgy. The movie is his personal obsession, whereas Gene Hoffman seems to approach it mainly from a business perspective. The death of Meyer's mother when he was a child, and his suspicions that antisemitic tendencies were at least partially responsible, are very much in the back of his mind during the writing and production of Crimson Orgy. He's determined to make a point with this movie, to strike back in some way at the perceived bigotry that cost him so much. The problem for Shel is that he never takes the time to examine his buried motivations or question where they might be leading him. Ultimately, he gets exactly what he's looking for and pays a terrible price for it.

Cliff the Grip is quite an enigmatic character in Crimson Orgy. You hint at his background, but never really explain it. How about giving ZC readers an exclusive scoop on Cliff. Why is he so screwed-up?

Yes, this is a cloudy issue that has perplexed some readers. What’s known beyond question is that Cliff was committed to the Calm Shepherd Sanitarium in Naples, FL, for nine months as a teenager. Diagnosed with manic depression, he was released when his condition seemed to improve somewhat with therapy. Unfortunately, a fire destroyed the sanitarium in the winter of 1968 (the precise cause of which was believed to be arson but never definitively proved) and thus all medical records relating to Clifford Schepps were lost. I think it’s safe to speculate that if some of today’s antidepressant medications had been available back in 1965, the tragic events surrounding Crimson Orgy might have been avoided. On the other hand, the world would be robbed of the most notorious cult film of all time and I wouldn’t have a book, so I‘m not sure where I come down on this issue.

If you could work at any part in the production of an exploitation film, which part would you prefer? Writer, actor, director, victim, etc, and why?

None. I have a feeling it’s a lot more fun watching exploitation movies, or writing about them, than actually working on one. Long hours, little or no pay, bad food, crummy accommodations, and not much glory when it’s all said and done.

Tell us about your writing background, and what's your writing regimen like? Are you a thousand words a day junkie, too?

I studied film in college, from a critical rather than creative perspective. I’ve never taken a creative writing course, just learned by doing a lot of bad writing and gradually recognizing what was bad about it. As far as a regimen, I wish I had one. It astounds me that someone like Stephen King can sit down and write for 7 or 8 hours a day, every day. With me it comes and goes, which I think most writers would agree is not an ideal approach. A good writing day is 2,000 words or more. I’d love to do that every day but it just doesn’t happen. I need time to let ideas formulate in the back of my mind before I can set them down coherently. I could also turn procrastination into an Olympic event.

In our email discussions, you said "A year or so ago, I stopped by Forrest J. Ackerman's house for one of his regular Saturday morning memorabilia tours (he lives about a mile from me.) It was a great honor to meet the man who's rubbed elbows with so many legends and rightfully become one himself." Okay, you realize you've got to spill the beans on that visit, right? What was it like?

As someone who started reading Famous Monsters magazine at about nine years of age, I was extremely fired up to meet this giant of the genre. As you know, Forry personally coined the term “sci-fi” and provided vital encouragement to multiple generations of filmmakers, some of them with last names like Spielberg, Lucas, and Coppola. He’s a straight-up legend. Forry lives in the Los Feliz neighborhood of Los Angeles, in a bungalow called the Acker-Mini-Mansion, a smaller version of the rambling Acker-Mansion he inhabited for decades. The collection of memorabilia on hand is staggering, including many items that were once personal possessions of Karloff, Lugosi, Lorre, Price, and countless other icons. Forry himself is a charming and gregarious host, with an endless supply of anecdotes and a buoyant enthusiasm that belies his physical frailty. He generously opens his home for tours most Saturdays when he’s in town, and I’d strongly encourage any fan of Zombos Closet who happens to be in the L.A. area make this pilgrimage.

(ZC Note: Forrest J. Ackerman died on December 4th, 2008)

What can we expect from you in the future?

I’m currently finishing a new novel called Harpoon City. It shares nothing in common with Crimson Orgy in terms of plot or setting, but I’m hoping it will appeal to the same audience by combining suspenseful and horrific elements with some dark humor in an edgy story populated by memorable characters. And now that the book about the movie Crimson Orgy is finally available, I think it’s a foregone conclusion that the movie about the book about the movie should be unleashed upon the world. Stay tuned for updates on that front.

What question would you love to be asked and what's your answer?

Q: How exactly did you manage to write a genre-bending book released by a small indie publisher that steadily built a mainstream audience until it topped the New York Times Bestseller list?

A: I don’t know, but I’d do it again in a heartbeat.

 

"Seems normal enough," said Brady as they finished reading the interview.

"Yeah, but what about that last question. How do you think he did it--top the Times' list I mean?" asked another.

"That's easy. Talent. No mystery there."

They nodded in agreement.

"This Cliff the Grip seems like someone we should look into."

They nodded in agreement.

"Maybe check out Something Weird Video, too. My money's on them."

"Okay, let's wrap it up. I'm starved. Let's get dinner--"

"You mean breakfast."

"Damn, it's that late? Okay, breakfast. Then we'll call on Cliffy boy."

"What about Borderlands Press? Should we pay them a visit, too?"

"Yeah, yeah; looks like we got our work cut out for us."

Interview: Mark Clark

It's not that actors no longer give good performances in horror films (they still do), and it's not as if direction, editing, and special effects weren't important in the classic horror film era. But in most modern horrors, concept is more important than cast. Horror has become a director's genre more than an actor's genre. During the classic era, the genre's biggest stars were Boris Karloff, Bela Lugosi, Vincent Price and Peter Cushing. In the years since, its brightest luminaries have been Mario Bava, George Romero, Wes Craven and M. Night Shyamalan. (Mark Clark in Smirk Sneer and Scream)

 

Director Justin Channell's company acronym, IWC Films, seen on his Heretic Film's distributed Die and Let Live zombies and pizza flick, sum's up the current state of horror cinema rather well: IWC stands for Idiots With Cameras. While I admire his light touch of humor, I fear the ring of truth in those three letters is precisely why horror cinema is mostly relegated to backhanded reviews or begrudging nods of minor acceptance. Making the situation worse, it's not just the idiots holding cameras, but also the ones pretending to act in front of them. Then you have the ones writing incomplete scripts without a hint of drama, pathos or depth, and others directing with those scripts, with nil basic training, because the digital age makes it appear so gosh darn easy to do--and Aunt Edna and Uncle Joey are available Tuesday for free.

Before the digital age gave any idiot with a camera the potential to become another Hitchcock or Romero, but not the sense to learn first, shoot later, horror movies more often than not had drama, pathos, and good acting that was sometimes even great. Even though many of these films were made for a quick buck, too, actors still acted, and writers wrote complete--if not always stellar-- scripts. Directors learned their technique and approached their films seriously. Even if the script was underwhelming and the direction uninspired, you could still count on yesterday's classic horror actor to give it his (or her) stylistic all. It may not have been naturalistic acting, but it was acting that convincingly and realistically entertained. Mark Clark, in his Smirk, Sneer and Scream: Great Acting in Horror Cinema, reminds us of this golden age.

If your looking for detailed plot synopses, look elsewhere: Clark focuses only on the memorable performances that show each actor's ability to bring the house down. And while his predilection for classic horror actors fills part one, the other two parts of his book examine mainstream actors--those thespians briefly caressing the horror genre to leave their permanent scars--and the often neglected leading ladies of fright. From Boris Karloff to Anthony Perkins, and Bette Davis to Jodie Foster, Clark lists the roles that bewitched us into becoming horror fans in the first place.

After reading his fascinating book, I invited Mark Clark to step into the closet and talk about Smirk, Sneer and Scream...

Tell us about your background and how you came to write Smirk, Sneer and Scream?

I loved the classic monster movies as a kid, and even imagined someday writing a book about them after reading (and re-reading) Edward Edelson’s Weekly Reader type book, GREAT MONSTERS OF THE MOVIES. After college, I worked as a newspaper reporter and film critic for about 10 years. I eventually left that line of work because I wanted to write what I wanted to write, instead of having to write about whatever I was assigned to cover. Toward the end of my newspaper career, I discovered Tom Weaver and the Brunas brothers’ UNIVERSAL HORRORS, which brought back for me the idea of writing about horror movies. I also began writing articles and reviews for magazines like MONSTERS FROM THE VAULT, MIDNIGHT MARQUEE, SCARLET STREET and FILMFAX and launched my online DVD review column.

Why write about acting in horror films? I mean, it's generally assumed that horror actors are not good actors, right?

Well, I wanted to write a book about horror films, but didn’t want to write a simple history. That had been done to death. I wanted an original angle, and it occurred to me that nobody had ever provided a real appreciation for the great acting performances that had been given in horror films over the years. Horror actors are usually treated like second-class citizens by critics and Academy Award voters, but that’s pure snobbery. Many fine actors worked in the horror genre, and did superb work there. I think Boris Karloff’s work in FRANKENSTEIN or THE BODY SNATCHER, for instance, stacks up with the best screen acting by anybody in any picture.

Also, I wanted to turn the spotlight back on the actors a bit. Even those people who write seriously about horror films these days tend toward narratives where the major players are directors. This is, I think, largely due to the influence of the “autuerist” film theory which emerged in the 1950s and quickly became dominant in critical thought. Personally, I believe that auteurism can be limiting, especially when oversimplified. Sure, directors are important, but film remains a collaborative art. And, as I note in my book, back in the 1930s, nobody went to see a movie based on the name James Whale or Tod Browning. They went based on the name Karloff or Lugosi. Actors and their work, as I see it, went a long way toward defining and shaping the genre, especially during its infancy.

Would you say the acting in classic horror films is different from today's? If so, why?

Wow, these are great, thought-provoking questions!

Thank you. I amaze myself sometimes, too.

Film acting in general is much different than it was in the 1930s, 40s and 50s. And of course it’s completely different from silent film acting. During the classic movie era, actors performed in a manner that was very stylized and distinctive. It wasn’t necessarily naturalistic, but it could be very expressive. Stars tended to develop a recognizable persona they carried from film to film, but the best actors among the big stars (Humphrey Bogart, Bette Davis, Cary Grant, for example) were able to take that persona in a lot of different directions through subtle variations. With the rise of the Stanislavsky “Method” school of acting, all that changed. Naturalism became the new ideal, and anything stylized was dismissed as “phoney” or “camp.” The best screen actors (Marlon Brando, Dustin Hoffman, Meryl Streep) seemed to vanish into their characters and became almost unrecognizable from film to film. There are a few performers today who have an approach that’s a sort of a hybrid between the classic era and the modern era – actors (like George Clooney, for instance) who have a true star persona, but are capable of submerging into character when necessary.

Of course, this tectonic shift in styles was felt in the horror genre, too. Plus, other changes also had a major impact. The breakup of the studio system brought the death knell for typecasting in the classical definition of the term. Studios couldn’t force an actor to make a career out of one type of character or film. Or, at least, not as easily. If actors had always been free agents, as they are today, we might never have known such a thing as a “horror star” in the first place. Nobody wants to get pigeon-holed as one type of character or too readily associated with one type of film. It’s seen as a bad career move. Left to their own devices, most if not all of the great horror stars would have abandoned the genre to stretch their muscles in different sorts of roles. In the last 20 or 25 years, the only actor who comes close to being a true horror star is Robert Englund. Now, I’ve interviewed Robert and I like him a lot. He’s very intelligent and very funny. But let’s face it, his body of work isn’t going to make anybody forget about Boris Karloff or Peter Cushing. Anyhow, the lack of horror stars has turned horror into more of a director’s genre. Although there are still good performances given in horror movies, often the acting almost seems beside the point. CLOVERFIELD, for instance, strikes me as pretty well-acted, but the film derives most of its power through technique, rather than performance. That’s common now.

You devote a chapter to the leading ladies of horror, including actors like Bette Davis, Jaime Lee Curtis, and Simone Simon. Why? Isn't horror a man's game?

Now you’re baiting me! Actually, I found writing that particular chapter more enjoyable than any other in the book. In retrospect, I think an entire book could be written on the subject of women in horror films – not a compendium of biographies like Gregory Mank’s two-volume WOMEN IN HORROR FILMS, but rather a survey of how women’s roles in horror films have reflected the changing place of women in American society over the past century. It’s a fascinating subject, which I touched on (again somewhat indirectly) in SMIRK, but which deserves further consideration and discussion. In the context of SMIRK, my primary focus was to draw attention to the many great performances by women that have graced the horror film, like those by Mia Farrow in ROSEMARY’S BABY and Sissy Spacek in CARRIE in addition to those you mentioned. There were so many great ones, it was tough to narrow it down. That was the hardest part of the entire project, actually -- keeping it from growing as big as the NYC yellow pages. There are so many great performances out there, it was impossible to cover them all. My book was intended to be a starting place for discussion, not the final word.

In our email discussions, you mentioned there were  elements you were trying to weave into Smirk, Sneer and Scream you don't think fully came off. Can you elaborate on them?

Some of them I’ve already touched on, like the impact the rise of method acting and the breakup of the studio system had on horror film acting, and on the evolution of the genre itself. While writing the book, I tried to deal with these developments in a way that, looking back, was too subtle – you can get the narrative, but it’s broken up in bits and pieces in several different write-ups, rather than being stated in a clear, unified manner. I won’t be making that mistake again. In my current book, all my ideas are up front, offered in a clear, linear way. For better or for worse!

Who's your favorite actor in classic and contemporary horror, and why?

Among the classic horror performers, it’s almost impossible to go wrong with Peter Cushing or Lon Chaney Sr. I think Lionel Atwill and George Zucco are underrated. I love Bela Lugosi and Vincent Price. But my favorite is definitely Karloff. He was just such a master. At the top of his game, his performances could be tremendously subtle and moving. He could scare the hell out of you, or he could break your heart. I don’t think any other horror star has a filmography as full of varied, three-dimensional characters as Karloff, and I don’t think any other star had as significant an impact on the development of the horror film. For decades, he was the face of the genre, the same way John Wayne personified the Western. In terms of contemporary horror films, I tend to like individual performances more than particular actors.

How did you conduct your research for Smirk, Sneer and Scream?

I watched and rewatched hundreds of movies and took copious notes. Very detailed notes. Lots of rewinding, pausing, jotting things down. I tried to break down the physicality of the actor’s performance – not just the line delivery but posture, gait, gestures. What was he or she doing in the scene that really brought the character to life? How did he or she relate to the other players in the scene? How did the actor’s choices differ from or align with the performer’s work in other films? Or with the way other performers had approached similar roles? The hardest part was not getting distracted by other elements in the film, staying focused on just the acting aspect. It required a great deal of discipline and could be exhausting, frankly. Try it some time and see!

As a writer, what's your regimen to get words onto the page?

A source of ongoing pain, frankly! I tend to write in fits and starts, working very intensely for a while and then not at all for a while. This is absolutely not the way to approach writing, and I am trying to become more steady and disciplined. It’s also a big reason why I took me so long (over six years) to write SMIRK. I need to improve if I’m ever going to write all the books I want to write.

What other books can we see from your digital pen? More on horror, I hope.

I’m currently co-authoring (with Bryan Senn) a book with the working title SIXTIES SHOCKERS: HORROR FILMS OF THE 1960s. It’s going to cover, comprehensively, one of the richest, most varied and most dynamic periods in the history of the genre, a time when the classic horror era overlapped with the dawn of the modern era. I’m especially interested in writing about the way the social upheavals of the era played out in that decade’s horror films. I’m very excited about it. I hope to finish it this year and have it on the market in 2009. Again, McFarland will publish it.

Shameless plug department: By the way, if anybody else out there liked SMIRK, I urge them to check out a book called SCIENCE FICTION AMERICA. Edited by David Hogan, the book contains essays from several writers (including me) about the way social issues have been portrayed in sci-fi films over the years. All the essays are excellent. My two (about I MARRIED A MONSTER FROM OUTER SPACE and the first two ALIEN films) are the best work I have published so far. SCIENCE FICTION AMERICA is available from McFarland.

What's the one question you've been dying to be asked, if any, and what's your answer?

Q: Can I buy the film rights to SMIRK for a million bucks?

A: Yes. Just make the check payable to me.

Interview: Paul Bibeau's Sundays With Vlad

I watched Chef Machiavelli. He watched the big simmering pot on the stove while holding a large soup spoon at the ready. Zombos nervously watched Chef Machiavelli's back while glancing at our Thanksgiving menu card. A tentacle suddenly pushed the pot lid aside and wiggled defiantly in the air. Chef Machiavelli whacked it with the soup spoon, sending it back into the pot. He slid the lid back in place and resumed his stance of readiness.

"Not done yet?" I asked.

"No," said our chef, unperturbed, raising the flame a little more. He kept watching the pot.

"Look here," said Zombos, "this menu simply won't do. Yak-stuffed octopus is fine, but what about the Frunkens? You know how difficult they can be. We need a native dish they'll love."

Oh yes...the Frunkens. Distant relatives on Zombos' side, originally hailing from Transylvania, recently moved to Pennsylvania under mysterious political circumstances, and soon to grace our annual family get-together with their vexing personalities. I was worried, too. Anything could set them off down the road to our damnation, ruining the festive Thanksgiving we planned for weeks. As for me, simple turkey and cranberry sauce is all I need for a festive dinner. Toss in a few bread rolls, mashed potatoes and gravy, and corn, and, as Emeril would say, "Bam!"

Wait a minute. Transylvania? Transylvania? I started to remember something--oh, bugger, I had almost forgotten! Paul Bibeau's Sundays with Vlad and his journey to find the true Dracula of Bram Stoker's novel, and in our psyche; I'm late in writing up the interview I recently had with him.

"I've got to ask him about that paprika hendl dish he talks about," I said out loud, making a mental note I needed to follow up on.

"Perfetta!" cried Chef Machiavelli, wrestling the soup spoon free from a tenacious tentacle entwined tightly around it. He turned to Zombos. "Paprika hendl," he said, while banging the tentacle back into the pot with his soup spoon. He resumed his stance of readiness.

Zombos clapped his hands together. "Superb! Paprika hendl it is. Capital idea, Zoc."

Finally. Now to more important matters: the interview with Paul Bibeau!

What insane impulse drove you to write Sundays With Vlad?

Like all insane impulses, it seemed very, very rational at the time. I was writing an article for Maxim magazine about the failure of the Dracula-themed amusement park in Romania . It seemed startling to me that Romania was filled with places connected to one of the most famous cultural icons in the world, and yet they couldn’t or wouldn’t cash in. But as I researched the story I began to realize that the Romanian Dracula and our western Dracula were very different. Plus, the stories of the people surrounding Drac were as interesting as the subject matter itself. It was bizarre and rich and complicated, and I had to write about it.

Why are you so obsessed with Dracula? Why not the Wolf Man, or zombies for that matter?

The Wolf Man’s a victim of his curse. Zombies can barely even think beyond how to crack open their next skull. Dracula’s smart, cultured, and in complete control of himself. He really wants to kill you, and he has the skills to go about doing that. He’s Hannibal Lector, and every Bond villain you’ve ever heard of. He’s actually much closer to the Western image of the devil than the others. “A man of wealth and taste,” as someone once said.

That's my understanding of the character also.  I always felt that Bela Lugosi was the embodiment of this "man of wealth and taste?" Do you agree?

Bela was definitely the ultimate "cultured Dracula," as opposed to the animalistic Nosferatu of Murnau's film. Lugosi's son mentioned that Bela started wearing his own opera suit during the play version of Dracula, and continued it with the movie. That style of dress became completely entwined with Dracula itself.

How would you compare Lugosi's Dracula to Christopher Lee's portrayal, given what you know about the real Dracula, Vlad Tepes?

If you remember, Lee portrayed Vlad himself in the documentary, In Search Of Dracula.  I don't have an opinion whether he played a more "Vlad-ish" Count, but his Dracula was definitely more animalistic, closer to the Nosferatu.  And ultimately closer to Stoker's portrayal. The Lugosi portrayal was further away, but at the same time compelling in its own way. I'd compare it to the Kubrick version of The Shining, which departed from the book, but became a classic in its own right.

You wrote "cook a Hungarian dish called Paprika Hendl, and it will tell you everything you need to know about Dracula." What did you mean by that?

The act of taking an ethnic recipe and preparing it in your own home is a kind of data vampirism.  And it shows the fragility of culture -- because culture after all is made of data and information. But I can adopt your recipes, laws, and folkways, and change them into whatever I want. Jonathan Harker mentions he's going to take a recipe back home to Mina at the beginning of Dracula.  Later the Count brags about his knowledge of English culture.  Before we talk about blood and land, we are talking about the real weakness of a culture -- their data. For the data is the life.

After mentioning Bela Lugosi in your book, I think it safe to say you're a monsterkid from way back. Tell us about your monsterific childhood and why you think the horror genre has influenced you so much.

My favorite holiday was Halloween, and my favorite TV special was the Disney version of the Legend of Sleepy Hollow. And then there’s the In Search Of episode on Vlad the Impaler that I write about in my book. I loved that whole series. Leonard Nimoy and his turtleneck brought the horror and mystery of real life into my home, and it damaged me in a wonderful way.

Have you seen the new series, Supernatural Science on television? If so, how do you think it compares to Nimoy and his turtleneck?

I never saw it.  I now have to.

How does your wife do it? I mean put up with your horror-leanings? And has she let you wear a cape yet?

She keeps me in check. She probably would let me wear a cape if I persisted, but I want to keep her happy. I sometimes go through a Jethro Tull phase where I listen to Thick as a Brick a lot, and ponder wearing a codpiece. But that’s out, as well. I love my wife very much, and not a day goes by that I don’t feel thankful for her incredibly low self-esteem, or whatever filthy, filthy fetish she has that makes her hang out with me.

What's your Dracula Was Framed blog all about?

I want to get people to treat the compilation of journals and newspaper clips that make up Dracula as if they were real, honest-to-God testimony about a paranormal event. What’s missing? What seems like it’s not right? How would you reinterpret, rewrite, add to, or generally screw with the text of Stoker’s novel? A fun exercise in critical thinking or creative writing or both. That’s what I want.

In your book, you cover the Dracula/Vampire influence in many areas. One area is the Goth scene. What was it like--a nice, vampire-loving journalist like yourself--entering that culture?

Goths are some of the nicest people you’d ever want to meet! They’re deeply sweet people. Sometimes geeky. Sometimes oddly cool. But they are really fun to hang out with, and once you convince them that you’re not going to be completely mean-spirited and mocking, they are quite helpful about explaining the ins and outs of the goth culture today. And as much as we love to poke fun at it (and no one makes fun of goths like the goths themselves), it’s also important to note that it’s still with us, more than a hundred years after the birth of the gothic novel. So that says something.

You took some chances when visiting Lugoj, and other places in your quest to find the "real" Dracula. Why put yourself in harm's way like that?

You don’t spend time as a reporter without meeting people who are much braver than you. I’ve interviewed New York City cops who survived gunfights that would make me piss my pants. So I look at my risk-taking as pretty minor in comparison. Also, don’t discount stupidity! A lot of the risks I took were just because I didn’t know how scary things would get until it was too late.

You're a writer, journalist, and monologuist. What's a monologuist?

I wrote a collection of funny, scary short stories called “The Big Money,” and to publicize them, I did a series of monologues around Virginia dramatizing them. I’m still a theater geek at heart.

Tell us more about this collection of short stories. What are they about?

They are a mix of horror, suspense, and humor. Drug dealers, bank robberies, rants about love, a tale of revenge, and a novella about working at a women's fashion magazine.

Given your style of writing, have you read O. Henry?

Actually, no.

As a journalist, what do you normally write about?

Spies and criminals, actually. I wrote a profile on Eric Haney, one of the first generation of Delta Force operators. Haney was part of the Iranian hostage rescue mission. And I have interviewed a guy named Antonio Mendez, the CIA officer who successfully rescued the Americans who’d escaped the Iranian embassy during the hostage crisis, and were hiding out with the Canadians. I also wrote an investigative article on a domestic terrorism case and an article on a stripper who ripped off a NASCAR team for a million dollars.

What current horror films do you like? Why?

I have no interest in seeing any of the torture movies. Just doesn’t do it for me. I own the VHS tape of John Carpenter’s Halloween, and when we got a DVD player my wife bought me the DVD version. When they change the technology again, I’ll probably go out and buy it once more. I always want to have that movie on hand, and I try to watch it every Halloween. It’s not just one of the best horror movies ever made, I think it’s a modern legend – The Grimm Brothers retold in suburban America with a bit of the “call is coming from inside the house” thrown in. The Blair Witch Project doesn’t survive multiple viewings – not having a script is a real liability – but it does have moments of horror genius. And limiting the blood and the body count really made it scary. That’s something I wish more people knew.  Ghost Story, The Changeling, The Fog…My favorites come from about twenty years ago, and they try not to show a severed limb or a guy in the rubber suit every 30 seconds.

I’m not a prude. I’m not offended by it. But a movie that combines high production values, extreme violence, CGI out the wazoo, and characters who wouldn’t be believable in a Dentyne commercial leaves me feeling utterly indifferent and not scared at all.

What question have you been dying to be asked, and what's your answer?

Do you think it was fair to lose your job as an advice columnist at Mademoiselle? And the answer is, yes and no.

After two years writing advice on guy-related issues for that magazine back in the late 1990’s, I wrote one section entirely in the voice of Vincent “the Chin” Gigante, the accused boss of the Genovese crime family who was then on trial and constantly strolling around Greenwich Village in his bathrobe, allegedly pretending to be a crazy old man. This did not go over well. The people at Mademoiselle did not want jokes about putting folks into car compactors in their fashion and beauty magazine. In my defense, the piece was very funny. On the other hand, maybe I was not a good fit for that magazine.