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They almost had to get the mop out at Target when I saw this 5 foot glow in the dark skeleton last night. Every year Target manages to bring some of the coolest decorations a Halloween-lover can drool or wet themselves over. And what does a glow in the dark skeleton need? Why, glow in the dark spiders, skulls, and rats, of course. Can you say life-size Forgotten Prisoner of Castle-mare tableau? Add a motion-controlled cobra that strikes and a few hanging bats and bammmm!
Five questions asked over a glowing Jack o'Lantern, under an Autumn moon obscured by passing clouds...in between mouthfuls of candy corn...with horror hostess Penny Dreadful...
Why is Halloween important to you?
Halloween is a very special time of year for me. There's something magical, otherworldly and a little scary about it. All Hallows Eve evokes such delightful thoughts of dead branches swaying in the breeze and the smell of burning leaves coming from people's backyards. It brings to mind thoughts of bag-fulls of candy (chocolate was always the best!) and creepy costumed beings running through the crisp Autumn night. Truly, I love Hallowe'en.
Describe your ideal Halloween.
Mere words cannot describe the unspeakable horrors which make up MY ideal Halloween! However, I will describe a very GOOD Halloween. A very good Halloween is one in which I play numerous monster novelty and rock 'n' roll tunes through the use of one of those compact disc machines. Garou and I then don mysterious costumes to protect ourselves from the roaming revenants and head out for a festive Halloween gathering with its assorted games and revelry. Pumpkins are required and hot cider is a nice bonus.
What Halloween collectibles do you cherish, or hate, or both?
One I always liked was a plastic pumpkin my mother used to hang on the front door. It had strange silvery eyes. Alas, it is long gone.
When was your very first Halloween, the one where you really knew it was Halloween, and how was it?
Too many centuries have elapsed dear Zombos. However, my most memorable Halloween involved getting together with my sisters and cousins, getting into our greasepaint and flowing costumes and running out into the cold New England night with the intermingled scents of candy and rotting leaves in the air.
What's the one Halloween question you want to be asked and what's your answer?
Q: Should Halloween be declared a national holiday?
A: Of corpse it shouldn't be a national holiday. It should be an INTERNATIONAL HOWLIDAY! On Halloween, no cool ghoul should be in school! On All Hallows Eve, those who lurk should not work! If I ever run for political office, this will be my (gallows) platform!
So far it looks like the stores are going light on Halloween decorations and heavy on the candy. But I did find these delightfully cheery newlyweds at Walgreens. Don't Dracula and his blushing Witch bride make a charming dark couple? And how can you pass up this Jack-in-the-Box Evil Clown? You know, I wonder if there's a subliminal message going on here with those bright, toothy smiles? I mean, with all that candy piled up around them, you'd think they'd have fillings galore, not gleaming Colgate smiles.
Zombos Says: Excellent
Little? Yes. Dead? Without a doubt. Cute? That's stretching it, buddy.
In her latest escapade, Where Pooty At? Lenore goes off on a few tangents, remembers a forgotten thing or two, and plants her friends in the dirt because she's bored and wants to sprout more friends.
Let me explain.
Before I explain, though, I should mention we find out where Pooty's been at, well into the story. He's a bit annnoyed by not being found until then, but you'll see what I mean when you read this issue...Lenore can be a little scatter-brained at times, which is most of the time.
The dancing, prancing, and singing flower opening turns into a nightmare when an insistent, pollinating-minded bee wants to buzz around Ragamuffin's petals--
--Shoot, I suppose I should tell you up front that the dancing flower is Ragamuffin, the 400 year old vampire who fed on living flesh until he became a wormy, polyester rag doll and Lenore's fast friend, although she occasionally treats him pretty mean and insensitively, which is most of the time--
--Until Lenore insists on planting Ragamuffin up to his neck in dirt, producing some unexpected results, or really I should say unexpected for us because she's giddy with the results, as they turn out exactly as she hoped for, which doesn't happen most of the time--her expectations producing the desired results I mean.
Which leads to the Pooty part of the story when he's eventually found, though he's pissed it took so long to find him. Now Pooty's not a vampire or rag doll, he's just a minion of Hell who took a fancy to Lenore and decided to stick around after he was sent to bring her back after she got bored and left. He does have an odd head, or rather it's a bucket for a head, or maybe his head is just bucket-shaped. Either way he's not happy Lenore didn't find him sooner, so he sticks his trident in Ragamuffin's brains--though it wasn't Ragamuffin's fault at all--which look and taste a lot like cotton candy by the way, and so Lenore and Pooty can't help but munch on them. Reluctantly realizing it's not a very good thing to chew on Ragamuffin's brains, they stuff what's left back in.
They spend more time beating up on Ragamuffin by telling him all about the mean things they did to him while he slept--Lenore and Pooty kept scrapbooks--until Lenore buries Pooty bucket-neck deep in the dirt because she just can't have enough friends. He, of course, is now not so sure being found was a good thing.
There's more, but you should be able to get the gist of this issue by now. And it's in full color!
Five questions asked over a glowing Jack o'Lantern, under an Autumn moon obscured by passing clouds...in between mouthfuls of candy corn...and coffie with author JG Faherty...
Why is Halloween important to you?
Well, I don't know if important is exactly the right word. It's my favorite holiday, and I look forward to dressing up and going to costume parties. I always have, ever since I was a little kid. Historically it is important, both as a modern holiday and ancient celebration of life. But it's not like I sit around all year and think about it.
Describe your ideal Halloween.
Well, it would have to fall on a weekend so you could celebrate for 3 days. I'd do a book reading or appearance, maybe have a book premiering. There'd be a party to go to where everyone dressed up in wild costumes. I'd make some Halloween-themed drinks or snacks. That'd be a good Halloween if I stayed local. You could add a photo trip to local cemetery as well. However, if I could plan the ultimate Halloween vacation, it would be to a haunted mansion or castle, where a group of us would spend the night.
What Halloween collectibles do you cherish, or hate, or both?
What do you mean by collectibles? I have some statuettes and decorations that I like, and some Halloween-themed art and books. But they aren't 'collectibles' per say; I certainly couldn't retire (or even go away for the weekend!) if I sold them.
When was your very first Halloween, the one whereyou really knew it was Halloween, and how was it?
Probably somewhere around kindergarten or first grade. Back then just wearing a costume and getting candy was all that mattered. It wasn't until my teenage years that I understood the history of Halloween.
What's the one Halloween question you want to be asked and what's your answer?
Q: What is your best Halloween memory?
A: Probably a couple of years ago when my wife and I spent the weekend in Salem, MA. I'd wanted to go there for years.
A lurid illustration, great use of color and title text style, and a snapshot of monster acting monstrous makes this lobby card a schlocky delight.
Simple but effective use of a skull illustration highlights this Mexican lobby card.
Zombos Says: Good
Grate Nick Fury, Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D onto Hellboy, add a little Universal Monster's seasoning, and bake until Metal Men done. Presto, you've got a dish of Frankenstein: Agent of S.H.A.D.E. Don't forget to garnish with a little Tokyo Pop wildness.
The Frankenstein Monster is the top agent for the Super Human Advanced Defense Executive group. The Ant Farm is the 3 inch-sized globe the group travels the, er, globe with, at over 600 miles per hour. Frankenstein thinks the whole miniaturization process to get into the Ant Farm is rather goofy, and that's something Jeff Lemire needs to write around: the goofy factor. Metal Men goofy was good; Frankenstein: Agent of S.H.A.D.E goofy may or may not be so good, but it's hard to judge it all on the first issue.
Keeping up with Lemire's imagination is Alberto Ponticelli's detailed artwork, whose splash pages and large panels are exciting and well executed where they need to be. One large panel introduces Frankenstein's new team--although he prefers to work alone--the Creature Commandos: the Wolf Man, the Mummy, Dracula, and the Creature from the Black--no, wait a minute, I'm getting it all mixed up.
The actual Creature Commandos are: Dr. Nina Mazursky, amphibian human hybrid; Warren Griffith, Werewolf; Vincent Velcoro, Vampire; and Khalis, Mummy and medic. Father introduces them to Frankenstein when a town is overrun by hungry monsters that keep on coming, no matter how many are killed. Father is the mad scientist running S.H.A.D.E. He can regenerate himself into various human forms to keep on ticking. This time around he chose the form of a Japanese schoolgirl wearing a mask around her eyes. One of Lemire's naughty fantasies perhaps? Like I said, goofy.
This first issue is perhaps a little too ambitious: there's a lot of matter of fact oddness to accept at face value, hopefully to be fleshed out later. Lemire manages to keep his story moving forward cleanly, however, and Ponticelli's pencils alone are a treat. The tone here reminds me of the storylines you'd find in DC comics from the 1970s, and Frankenstein's manner and dress make me think of the Robert De Niro Frankenstein character.
Although purists will have to deal with the Monster being named Frankenstein, this first issue is filled with enough wild, and promising, story and art to warrant your attention.
The final chapter? Who are they kidding?
Continue reading "Battle For The Planet Of The Apes (1973)
Pressbook" »
To Whom It May Concern:
Please stop making mockumentary movies told through found-footage video.
Really. Please. Stop.
While it started as a creative and novel tool to boost audience anxiety levels and heighten dramatic effects, stretching the confines of a limited budget, its overuse has forced a predictable repetitiveness that now is clearly used only to trim budgets, lessen the cinematography burden, and shorten script development (aka, needing a full script that tells a complete story; aka paying for good writers).
Too often now an audience is tasked with piecing together a fragmented story from time-chopped snippets of supposed found-footage, comprised of interminable, ho-hum-boring, inaction inserted between herky-jerky-murky scenes flitting by, fast and furious, leaving audiences alternating between picking popcorn from their teeth or struggling to comprehend what's happening.
It wasn’t like this in the beginning.
Cannibal Holocaust, The Last Broadcast and The Blair Witch Project were ground-breaking, scary, and enhanced by these techniques. By the time Cloverfield, [REC], and Paranormal Activity had arrived, the handheld camera as documentor absolute, had begun to stretch credulity by forcing us to assume a person, within the context of each movie’s situation, could constantly keep a handheld camera rolling in the most dire situations, disregarding personal safety, and even life and limb. Of course, in plots where a mockumentary is an integral stimulus for the story such as Troll Hunter, The Last Exorcist, and to a lesser extent, Diary of the Dead, it is easier to suspend disbelief because of their natural-use context .
But incessant hand-holding cameras have certainly jumped the shark with Apollo 18 and quite possibly Paranormal Activity 3. Can anyone honestly say these movies, and the other ones lined up in the queue, use the mockumentary and found-footage techniques because their stories demand such use and couldn’t be told in another way? Or has Hollywood and independent filmmakers resorted to using “found-footage” because it’s convenient for cutting corners in the production process and camouflaging their LESS as MORE from the audience? Certainly, in the case of the Paranormal Activity franchise, if forced to stay within the confines of its mockumentary format, we will be forced to view its continuing hauntings through kodachrome, kinetascope, and eventually daguerreotypes, respectively.
So where do we go from here?
I implore you to drop the gimmicky overuse of the mockumentary and found-footage formats from horror movies and return to telling stories in a more demanding but visually satisfying way (aka drop the cheapening shaky-cam and off action angles), with well-written scenes devoid of stupefying inaction to pad out the minutes, and with properly fleshed out characters whose revealing dialog holds our attention. And then sufficiently light it all so we can see what the hell’s happening to them.
Please. Really. Stop.
