Zombos' Closet

Halloween In August

The temperature has hit 451 farenheit, hot enough for me to burn like a figure in a wax museum run by Vincent Price. At least, that's how it feels. The ice cubes shrink away from the sun, leaving my lemonade tart and warm and not very quenching. My throat is dry. Mummy dry. Sand blowing through the pyramids of Egypt dry. Bones crumbling to dust dry.

It's time for some cool Halloween fun.

Now. In August. A pre-celebration of the Autumn Celebration to save me, to save you, to save us all from this dreary Christmas in July falderol, this another-month-of-living-in-the Serengeti.

Join me!

Smash those pumpkins (your blogs), dig deep into those squishy, slimy innards (your posts). Paint your face with them and war-whoop your scariest scream of terror to raise the dead (post your links, like donning your Ben Cooper Land of the Lost costume to jump into that awfully big pile of withered leaves. Not that I ever did that, of course, just saying.)

Post your links about Halloween, or send them to me to post, or hold your own Halloween in August posting-seance with friends, or do a bloggy Halloween Carnival with monsters. Once a week, thrice a day, two by midnight? Whatever suits your fancy.

Just do it! the power of Vampira and her pumpkins compel you!

Photo courtesy of Professor Kinema 

 

 

 

Blogging Around: Halloween

With Halloween creeping ever closer, here are some juicy tidbits to wet your appetite.

Funeral Cakes bakes up some turnips to make a Tumshie Lantern: The first Jack-O'-Lantern's were, in fact, not pumpkins, but turnips. In Scotland these carved turnips (or 'neeps' as they're regionally known) were called 'Tumshie Lanterns'. Scottish children would carry these lanterns out while 'guising'.

Halloween Overkill reveals the ghoulish Monsters of the Gridiron: Now growing up an athlete and sports fan, along with being the world's biggest Halloween/Horror fan (we all have that title right?),  this one really struck a cord with me. I mean, come on, Coca-Cola had the marbles to mix two of the greatest things on the planet for us!

Zombies Don't Run body slams WCW's Halloween Havoc: Halloween Havoc was an annual professional wrestling pay-per-view from 1989 through 2000, after WCW was sold to the WWE.

Grave Addiction has a, well, grave addiction to cemeteries, abandoned buildings, haunted places, and lots of vacant stares--(oops, I meant to say "stairs"): Grave Addiction contains photos I have taken at all of the cemeteries, haunted places, abandoned buildings, and historical parks that I have visited. I'm always exploring new places, so the site is updated with new photos and stories on a regular basis (I attempt to make an update at least once a week).

RavensBlight defies description, but I'll say it's sublime, ghoulish merriment: RavensBlight... odd name for a town, but then...it's an odd town. Here you'll find over 300 paintings and photographs on display, free paper toys, free music, free PC games, and a few other dark goodies, all created by Ray O'Bannon. So have a look around, the attractions are always open.

BavaTuesdays walks us through The Haunted Mansion of Long Branch: Anyone who lived in the New York/New Jersey area during the 70s and 80s probably has some memories of this place, if only through their crazy commercials.

 

LOTT D: The Terror That Came From Sci Fi!

There's more than horror lurking through the darkened hallways of The League of Tana Tea Drinkers. Science fiction terror prowls and snarls its way along the floorboards, too. So here's a sampling of those terrors that came from sci fi to give you unpleasant dreams.

 

TheoFantastique warns us to Keep Watching the Skies!: Through its various printings Warren’s book has become something of a classic among science fiction film fans and scholars, and in a big way.

Classic-Horror faces The Incredible Shrinking Man!: The Incredible Shrinking Man is considered one of science fiction's best films. Its strengths, however, lurk more in the horrific implications it presents than its science fiction.

Uranium Cafe treats us to a double feature of Cat Women of the Moon and Missile to the Moon!: The theme is a familiar one for the 50s and 60s. A group of men, with maybe one female in the gang, are stranded somewhere, an island, lost civilization on the far side of a secret mountain or a planet like Venus or even the earth’s moon, and there they encounter an all female race of something similar to Amazons.

Igloo of the Uncanny wonders how I Married a Monster From Outer Space!: One of the many great things about watching American Sci-Fi from the 50s is that it gives you a rare glimpse of a bygone era, where things were very much different. IMAMFOS (short for 'I Married A Monster From Outer Space'. Very handy. Saves me writing out 'I Married A Monster From Outer Space' for no good reason) has a wonderful example of this.

Strange Kids Club runs amok with Xtro, Eat and Run, and My Teacher Is An Alien!: If you've ever wondered what really happened to Al Capone, chances are he was eaten alive by a 400 lb. alien named Murray.

Mad Mad Mad Mad Movies finds a Galaxy of Terror with Inseminoid!: Of course creative people are always drawn toward the medium in which they can express themselves most freely, and thus once the freedom offered by the science fiction of the 70s became clear--from gravity, from Earth, from the need for basic storytelling logic--it might have been predicted that the vacuum of space would suck a few intrepid horror filmmakers through the hull of their genre and out into the horrible, terrifying void.

Kindertrauma admires the voluptuous horror of Alien!: I once facetiously said that horror heroine Ellen Ripley officially belonged to the world of sci-fi because she broke bread with robots and drove a spaceship to work. The truth is, no amount of blinking computer lights or sparkling stars can keep ALIEN from being one of the purest examples of a horror film in existence.

Necrotic Cinema takes a refreshing breadth of space madness in Pandorum!: I certainly felt the look of the film was influenced by Event Horizon, Outland and Alien and that school of thought in regards a space ship. That a rusted and dark and a smoky, ill-lit space ship looks cooler than a brand spanking new craft where everything is spit polished and working.

And here's Dr. Gangrene's recommended movie of the week #25: Tarantula!:

Who Can Ever Forget Vampira?

Flashback courtesy of Professor Kinema...and Terence O-Flaherty writing in the San Franciso Chronicle, 1984 (click to enlarge)...

Professor Kinema's Zacherley Fanzine Issue 3 (Part 2)

Part 1

Professor Kinema's Zacherley Fanzine Issue 3 (Part 1)

More Zacherley the Cool Ghoul history from the crypt of Professor Kinema...(click to enlarge)...

It Makes Up Our Mind Inception (2010)

ZC Rating 5 of 7: Excellent 

If Sigmund Freud, Alfred Hitchcock, the Wachowski Brothers, and William Gibson walked into a bar, while Christopher Nolan was bartending with a very attentive ear, you would probably wind up with Inception, a stunningly original yet quite familiar movie that plays with its characters' minds and ours. In a disappointing cinema summer dotted with rote remakes and uninspired beginnings, Inception is refreshingly innovative in how it uses thematic elements from other movies to illustrate its complex but involving premise.

Familiarity comes from its intricate Mission Impossible-styled exploit involving futuristic corporate espionage, frenetically violent chase scenes that would make Jason Bourne flush, and deployment of essential but presumptive technology, normally found in movies like Blade Runner, Johnny Mnemonic, and Dark City. The complexity of its premise comes from the mind games played by Dominic Cobb (Leonardo DiCaprio) and his team of lucid dreamers, who are employed by conglomerates to steal corporate secrets by invading and manipulating the dreamscapes of their business rivals while they sleep. In Cobb's world, these "extractions," as they are called, appear to be a routine method of corporate raiding, so potential victims are trained to fend them off. This sub-conscious defense mechanism throws up "projections" which--conveniently simplified for us by Nolan's stunt people--look like car chases and assailants with guns. I'd like to take that MBA class.

Billy Loves Stu's MeMeMeMe

Naughty blogger Billy Loves Stu "thought it might be a nifty idea, if I created a Meme for horror bloggers to complete so that the next time someone stumbles across the electronic journal of a burgeoning Pauline Kael, or Stephen King-wanna-be, the reader might get a better idea of where this bloody blogger is coming from."

I love Pauline Kael. Ditto for King. So, without further ado, here goes my meme...just in case, because you never know. You know.

In Ten Words or Less, Describe Your Blog:

It's where the cultured horror heads go.

During What Cinematic Era Where you Born?

I was born in B: The Atomic Monster/Nuclear Angst Era (the late 40's through 50's), but grew up watching all those A: The Classic Horror Era (late 30's to 40's) movies, which appeared on the various incarnations of Shock Theatre. While NetFlix is the cat's meow for cinema buffs these days, thanks to Shock Theatre, and its horror hosts presenting movies from the 30s on up, I was nurtured on movies from multiple eras.

The Carrie Compatibility Question: Sue Snell or Chris Hargensen, who would you take to the prom?

I missed my prom. I went to an all boys school and was terrible with girls. I really hate this question. I'd have gone with Sue Snell if I wasn't such a dork and couldn't get up the nerve to ask her. But if she turned me down I'd be crushed. I don't take rejection well. Damn. I still hate this question.

You have been given an ungodly amount of money, and total control of a major motion picture studio - what would your dream Horror project be?

Let's see, I've got this great movie idea: an expedition in the Antarctic, led by BP looking for oil, digs up the Blob (you know, the one from the 1950s). The Blob thaws out and devours all the BP people. BUT! That's not all. The Blob's partially devoured victims turn into zombies and go on the rampage. Much gore and mayhem ensues. Contact me.

What horror film "franchise" that others have embraced, left you cold?

SAW. The death devices have become the stars. There's something seriously wrong with that.

Is Michael Bay the Antichrist?

No; but his pandering to the lowest common commercial denominator for his movies leaves me hoping he'd move on to that job description instead of his director one.

Dracula, The Wolf Man, The Frankenstein Monster - which one of these classic villains scares you, and why?

The Wolf man, because he would want to eat me or tear me to shreds before eating me. If Dracula sucked me dry I'd still have a chance at some night life action. And Frankenstein's Monster is a pussy cat at heart.

Tell me about a scene from a NON HORROR Film that scares the crap out of you.

There's a scene in Will Smith's The Pursuit of Happyness: he's locked the door of a public restroom, it's late, and he's holding his young son in his hands. Smith is crying as an irate man bangs on the locked door. Smith holds his sleeping son closer. They're on the floor of the restroom. He's been reduced to this: no money, homeless, and his life is in shambles. He can't support himself or his son or his wife. And she's left him. During the last "mini-recession" I was out of work for seven months. The fear, the uncertainty, the demoralization Smith felt hits home. Every time I see this scene it scares me because it reminds me of how close me, you, anyone can come to a life-interruptus, a soul draining isolation, a loss of dreams. It's something to scare the crap out of anyone.

Baby Jane Hudson invites you over to her house for lunch.  What do you bring?

Frankenstein's Monster: he may be a pussycat, but he's still a big pussy cat. She's a nutcase, you know.

So, between you and me, do you have any ulterior motives for blogging?  Come, on you can tell me, it will be our little secret, I won't tell a soul.

I started blogging to improve my writing and my expertise on horror movies. Also on movies in general. I also wanted to meet other like-minded people and talk shop with them. Mission accomplished. I can't imagine life without blogging. Really.

What would you have brought to Rosemary Woodhouse's baby shower?

A Devil D'Little costume: the kid would be a natural.

Godzilla vs The Cloverfield Monster, who wins?

Godzilla. The Cloverfield Monster might have a lot of nasty nits falling off, but Godzilla's got allies: Anguirus II, Jet Jaguar, Rodan, and his sons, to rock CM's world. Probably Mothra, too. Mothra's cool.

If you found out that Rob Zombie was reading your blog, what would you post in hopes that he read it?

Nothing different from what I normally post.

What is your favorite NON HORROR FILM, and why?

Casablanca. Bogey, Sidney Greenstreet, Peter Lorre, Conrad Veidt, Lauren Bacall, Claude Rains; my God man, this movie has a script vibe, a flow of dialog and action, and a love story schmaltz that's chic-flic and dic-flic all in one. I still cry at the end.

If blogging technology did not exist, what would you be doing?

Sleeping more.

A Versatile Blogger Is I

Jason and Halloween Overkill recently awarded me the Versatile Blogger Award. I'm flabbergasted; I'm mortified; I'm deeply honored. Either they've been sniffing charred pumpkin innards earlier than they should or I'm doing something right.

I like to think I'm doing something right. But slide that pumpkin my way if I'm wrong: I need a cool reminder of soon-to-come October, to fortify me through this here-and-now broiling summer.

Then again, this award just did that. Thank you.

As part of the award ceremony I need to tell you seven things about me and pass the award along to fifteen other blogs. So, first, here are seven things I think you may find interesting to know:

1. Being a nut for H.P. Lovecraft, I once lived on Clinton Street in Brooklyn Heights, close to where he and Sonia Greene resided at 169 Clinton Street. Deep down I had hopes of running into his ghost on a foggy night in Autumn, but that, sadly, never happened.


2. I "published" my first short story, The Waters of Merom, a Lovecraftianesque tale of dread, in a fanzine way back in the 1970's. I forget the name of the fanzine but I still have the story. One of these days I'll rewrite it.


3. Speaking of writing, I'm terribly insecure. I constantly doubt my ability to put a sentence into a paragraph and a paragraph onto a page. That's why getting an award like this means a lot to me. But I'm still insecure. I've got lots of stories waiting to eventually, someday, maybe, let loose from the file drawer. One of these days. I tend to rewrite a lot.


4. I grew up in Brooklyn, between Bensonhurst and Gravesend. I worked hard to get rid of my accent, but it slips out when I get angry or flustered. There was this wonderful luncheonette on the corner, run by a guy named Joe and his wife Flo. Their magazine rack held the treasures I pirated every month: horror magazines and comics. On the way to the luncheonette was a little hole in the wall store where I bought stick pretzels, Jelley Rings, and Nik-L-Nip Wax Bottles. The liquid candy in the Nik-L-Nips was nasty sweet and had a bitter aftertaste. I hated them. I loved them. I miss Joe and Flo and the smell of that luncheonette.


5. I love Timmy the Tooth.


6. I once contacted Ray Bradbury, through his publisher, to see if he would send me a story for my fledgling fanzine, StraitJacket. I was a kid back then; what did I know? He basically told me to take a hike. I forgive him.


7. As a teenager I spent much of my time in Greenwich Village, prowling the streets and drinking too much coffee, at the Cafe Borgia on Bleecker Street, well into the night. One evening, while walking down a side street, I came across the most hideous looking painting I had ever seen. It was a face, without eyes, done in mournful browns and dreary blacks, all bleeding together on the canvas. It gave me quite a chill just looking at it. I thought about taking it home; I'm into the weird, after all. I thought some more and left it. Something about that face really creeped me out. Even without eyes, it seemed to look right into you. A few weeks later I was walking down another street in the Village and there it was, propped against another streetlamp. I got that chill down my neck again and hastily walked around it. On another excursion a month later, there it was--again--in my path, looking at me from under another streetlamp, another side street. Its eyeless sockets still gave me the willies. I know this sounds like I'm making it all up, but it's true. There's probably a good explanation to, well, explain all this, but as far as I'm concerned, I left the painting where it was and stopped going to Greenwich Village. I haven't gone back to walk those streets for some years now.

As for the bloggers I'd like to recommend for this award, I'll go way better than fifteen. Start with this bunch of tea-totallers, The League of Tana Tea Drinkers, then head on over to the Horror Blogger Alliance for more.

Professor Kinema's Zacherley Fanzine Issue 2 (Part 2)

More Zach from the vault of Professor Kinema...(click to enlarge)...and Part 1

Professor Kinema's Zacherley Fanzine Issue 2 (Part 1)

From the vault of Professor Kinema...(click to enlarge)

52 Famous Murderers and No Bubblegum

One of the key elements established by the modern horror film is that you don't necessarily need monsters to generate terror. Rather, very often, as the old cliche goes, the worst monsters of all are ourselves. In other words, the real-life evils of the human mind can be far more terrifying than any make-believe supernatural entity. Perhaps that's why the serial killer sub-genre has proliferated so much in recent decades. (Vault of Horror: The Lucky 13)

I left graduate school with a degree in Forensic Psychology and a notion I could pursue a career probing the depths the human mind can sink through, assisting a criminal justice system burdened by such unsavory matters. It would be a lark, providing lots of fascinating party talk and dinner chat to titillate my listeners.

My notion was first tested when I was told to wear clip-on ties while in the agitated ward of a correctional facility--so I wouldn't be strangled by any of my spontaneous charges. It was vigorously challenged when sitting across the long, narrow table from me--on one of those days you've missed the coffee cart when you really shouldn't have--was an explosively violent young man wearing a straitjacket, threatening to jump over the table and choke the life out of me before the guard could stop him. What bothered me most wasn't how casually he said it, but that I believed he had a good chance of doing it, straitjacket or not. I looked at him very carefully and said, as calmly as possible, "that wouldn't be a good idea." He agreed and smiled. I started breathing again. I wondered if that guard, now suddenly standing very far away, had his cup of java that morning.

I gave up the notion entirely after watching another inmate perform a card trick. It's the one where each card is flawlessly used in telling a story, no matter what the arrangement after shuffling. This person didn't miss a pip as he went through all fifty-two pasteboards. I was impressed. He was very personable, fairly charming, always cheerful. I became depressed afterward when I found out he had placed his infant son in the oven and turned up the heat. Way up. It was the voices in his head, I was told. They told him to do bad things. I wondered if those voices helped him with his magic tricks, too.

Another notion soon occurred to me that perhaps pursuing a career in computing would be better than wearing clip-on ties and conducting Rorschach tests with serial stalkers. It was. Still is. My conversations at social gatherings are not as titillating, but I can live with that. Which brings me to Mother Productions' 52 Famous Murderers trading card set.

I doubt anyone would seriously want to trade these like Harry Potter's Famous Wizards Cards, or flip for them in the schoolyard like we did with Baseball cards (I always lost). And no matter how you shuffle this deck of infamous serial killers, their stories are always chilling and saddening.

So it's all right to be scared: the next time you're at the movies, tucked in your seat as you stare up at that make-believe serial killer cavorting safely-distant onscreen, look around you.

You never know who may be smiling at you.

Professor Kinema's Zacherley Fanzine Issue 1 (Part 3)

Here's the last installment of Zacher-Lore, Issue 1 (1988). But have no fear! Issue 2 of Professor Kinema's (that's Jim Knusch, natch) Zacherley fanzine, is arriving by bat-courier next week. And Vampira waits patiently in the wings--just for you, darlings.

"Jim Knusch's articles on film and TV history have appeared in numerous magazines including FilmFax, Scarlet Street, Psychotronic Video, Screem and Scary Monsters. He is also the co-editor (with Dennis Daniel) of a superb book called The Famous Monsters Chronicles, detailing the life and times of the legendary original monsterzine and its creators." (E-gor's Chamber of Horror Hosts)

Midnight Madness Trading Cards: Robot Killer

Here is the twelve-card story for Robot Killer, from Rosem's Midnight Madness Card Set. Story is by Steve Kiviat, and illustrations by Alfredo Osorio. (Copyright 1990 by Rosem Enterprises.)

(Shroud of the Undead, Jungle Parasite, The Pharaoh's Revenge)

Click on the images for a larger view.

I, Zombie 3 The Dead of Night

ZC Rating 3 of 7: Good

I don't know, Diogenes. How can you be sure she's a bloodsucker?

Horatio--Do you think she'd be talking to a guy like that if she wasn't?

Okay, I'll admit this is one of my guilty pleasures of comic book reading. Although Roberson and Allred keep Gwen and her odd friends squeaky clean for a brain-munching zombie, a ghost with Barbie's fashion sense, and a moonlight-afflicted hairsute friend that looks like Zombos' miniature schnauzer in a hooded sweat top, this horror-lite series is fresh and lively with color and character.

In this issue Gwen finally meets Mr. Amon, the mysterious guy in the big, spooky house, and Spot's body-hairdo gets mussed when he's outed by his nerdy friend. His other nerdy friend is in neck-deep trouble with a paintball vamp hookup, but Horatio and Diogenes, the white coat dressed pair of investigators, are close at hand to stop her blood-pecking.

Or were close at hand until Gwen falls head over heels for Horatio. Actually, Gwen was practically tossed his way by the vamp when she collided into Gwen in front of Dixie's Diner. But it looks like Gwen and Horatio's chance meeting may blossom into something more.

The vamp, by the way, is the one on the right of the cover. Vamps always dress sassy, like vamps, so they're easy to spot. I'm not sure why Gwen insists on wearing green, though; it doesn't go well with her purple skin pallor at all. Browns and earth tones are more apropos for a cute zombie like her.