Zombos' Closet

Bats Day In the Fun Park

It's that time again for another bat's wings and mouse ears stroll in the park...

Bats Day in the Fun Park, which started in August 1999 between the promoters of the goth/industrial and deathrock clubs, Absynthe and Release the Bats, has turned into a 2-day weekend event near Disneyland, California.

Now for 2009, Bats Day in the Fun Park is moving its annual month to May. We have decided that the month of August has just become too hot!

That's right, every year over 10,000 fans of dark, subcultural entertainment flood the park and this time we'll be there -- and we're bringing our fellow brands EVIL BRAND, FRIGHT RAGS, HEAVY RED and more!

Join the fun on May 2 and 3!

LOTT D: Pick a Post Sensation 7

Beware! Once again, the archives have been unburied, and the hideous horrors unleashed! For your entertainment and edification pleasure, of course. Members of the League of Tana Tea Drinkers dig six feet deep to find their past misdeeds...and reveal them to you, one post at a time!

 

Vault of Horror and Day of the Woman team up to send us the 20 Hottest Women in Horror. Tonight we're talking about the women of horror, so who better to bring on board than the mastermind behind Day of the Woman herself, the irrepressible and irresistible BJ-C? She and myself worked long and hard to compile the following list of the most beautiful female characters in horror history, and I now leave it to BJ-C to bring it to you in her own inimitable style... 

...don't touch that dial...there's more!

50 Horror Trailers and 55 Dracula Movies To Die For

Here is something to smile about: Eerie Books, Texas's only all horror book store, has put together their list of the top 50 horror trailers; an enjoyable trip down nightmare lane for fans, as well as a should-see movie list. Perhaps not so surprisingly, this top 50 list  contains mostly older movie trailers...

"You’ll probably notice that most of the horror trailers listed are from movies that came out a long time ago. There’s a pretty simple reason for that; most newer horror movies, (and newer horror movie trailers) just aren’t very good."

While you are there, do not miss their 55 Dracula Movies You Should See Before You Die (or get staked). I am happy to note Eerie Books has linked No. 3, Dracula (1931), to ZC's review of Bela Lugosi's eternal count.

Eerie Books is located at 205 N. Ballard Street in Wylie, TX, and is open from 10am to 6pm, seven days a week. Their phone number is 972-442-9393. They also carry horror movies on DVD (both new and used) and other horror collectibles, like comic books, games, and artwork.

Night of the Living Dead Reanimated And Old Time Radio Horror Animated

  Interesting zombie horror news, especially regarding the old time radio horror facelift...

Night of the Living Dead: Reanimated is a mass collaborative artistic re-envisioning of George A. Romero's 1968 cult classic, Night of the Living Dead. International artists and animators were invited to select scenes from the film and reinvent them through their artwork. Their varied works are organized and curated into an art show hung in the time line of this cult classic film.

Neoflux Productions will be employing a similar approach in creating artistically animated video tracks to accompany Old Time Horror Radio Dramas. By combining these well written and aptly preformed stories with our artwork, 'Unseen Horror' will usher these classic tales of the macabre into our visual culture and represent them to a new generation of horror fans.

To sign up for more information, go to http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/unseenhorror/

LOTT D: Pick a Post Sensation 6

Beware! Once again, the archives have been unburied, and the hideous horrors unleashed! For your entertainment and edification pleasure, of course. Members of the League of Tana Tea Drinkers dig six feet deep to find their past misdeeds...and reveal them to you, one post at a time!

Love Train for the Tenebrous Empire shows her love for cats and catnip with Night of a Thousand Cats. "NoaTC" is a movie about a millionaire playboy named Hugo who lives in an old monastery and picks up chicks in his helicopter in order to collect their severed heads, feeding their remains to his room full of cats. That's it--for sixty-three minutes. But... that's really all I need.

Attentiondeficitdisorderly Too Flat sends along its Blog of Blood entries for Clive Barker's Books of Blood, in which I read and reviewed one of the short stories from Clive Barker's Books of Blood collection every day for a month. Plenty for readers to sink their teeth into. So to speak.

Yours truly decides to take the easy way out and skips SAW IV. What would Roger Ebert do? Would he ignore a film just because he was squeamish? Sure, why not? I decided to review Hiruko the Goblin instead. Spidery goblins ripping off heads is so much easier to watch than that creepy Billy the puppet wheeling around on his squeaky tricycle anyway.

The Drunken Severed Head must have had a slow day; here's his interview with robotics engineer Laura Wong. She isn't even an evil robotics engineer. The robot that I have designed that I'm most proud of was actually three of the same robot-- I created a "swarm". Swarm robotics is relatively a new field of robotics which allows multiple robots to cooperate and communicate within a group.

This week's photo courtesy of Dr. Macro's High Quality Movie Scans.

Malefique (2002) Hell Is Other People

ZC Rating 4 of 7: Very Good (Let me know if the ending here reminds you of the one in Being John Malkovich)

Four characters in search of an exit sustain and disdain each other's mauvaise foi in this incarceration screenplay involving a serial killer's dark arts journal written in 1920. With freedom just out of reach beyond a barred window, a locked door and four dreary walls complete their bleak prospects for salvation.

The beginning teases us with Danvers, the murderer who fears growing old, busy in his fetid cell and not alone. A crispy-charred corpse frozen in agony and one unfortunate individual with a gaping chest wound hint at arcane mischief afoot. Danvers casually dips his fingers into the man's wound and draws blood to draw mystical symbols on the wall of his cell. Gore is sparsely used in Maléfique, a film directed by Eric Valette, but when it is, its brief, dramatic appearance provides suitable goosebumps.

Present day. Of the four men imprisoned in the small cell, the only one with hope of freedom is newly admitted Carrère (Gérald Laroche), but as time passes he grows more despondent and desperate to see his son again. His three cellmates are Marcus (Clovis Cornillac), who is midway between being a man and a woman and hoping for the latter; Lassalle (Philippe Laudenbach) who no longer reads or dares to listen to the many books involved in his wife's murder; and Pâquerette (Dimitri Rataud), who is an insane child dressed like a man. He eats anything and everything, has had a very regrettable childhood--though not as bad as his 6-month old sister: she fared worse because he eats anything and everything--and he likes to make visits to the prison infirmary, necessitated by acts of self-mutilation.

The Horror of Comic Sans

From the 'don't we have more important things to worry about right now?' I-files comes this story about ill-will fostered by the comic sans font.

"The font, a casual script designed to look like comic-book lettering, is the bane of graphic designers, other aesthetes and Internet geeks. It is a punch line: "Comic Sans walks into a bar, bartender says, 'We don't serve your type.'" On social-messaging site Twitter, complaints about the font pop up every minute or two. An online comic strip shows a gang kicking and swearing at Mr. Connare. ( ZC Note: Really? I hadn't noticed.)

"The jolly typeface has spawned the Ban Comic Sans movement, nearly a decade old but stronger now than ever, thanks to the Web. The mission: "to eradicate this font" and the "evil of typographical ignorance."

Of course, being a horror fan, bad taste and evil are my bread and butter. So I'll continue to use comic sans to spread as much terror and ill-will as possible. It's no fun being prim and proper all the time, you know. I say go ahead and punch the little runny-nose, floppy-eared ball of fur. I dare you.

(* I for idiotic)

Butcher Knives and Body Counts Goes Green

This news just in from Vince Liaguno over at Dark Scribe Press...editor for the upcoming Butcher Knives and Body Counts non-fiction anthology filled with slasher love.

"Dark Scribe Press is pleased to announce that award-winning film director Adam Green will be contributing a special introduction to the BUTCHER KNIVES & BODY COUNTS anthology. In “Are We Sick?,” Green ponders the appeal of the genre and the undying loyalty of the slasher fan and recounts his own genre initiation that involved an older brother, some STAR WARS collateral, and the sequel to an iconic 80’s slasher."

Read more.

Deadline for submitting to Butcher Knives and Body Counts: Essays on the Formula, Frights, and Fun of the Slasher Film is May 31. Find out more.

Twilight Zone Bobbleheads

Bif Bang Pow! is commemorating the 50th Anniversary of The Twilight Zone with, among other nifty collectibles, bobbleheads of the mystic seer and invader...

"Just in time for the iconic series 50th Anniversary, we'll be producing collectibles from the series in the form of statues and bobble heads-but some will have, let's say, 'special' twists to them, much like the series itself. And most exciting of all, for the first time, we'll be bringing the world 3D representations of the man himself, Rod Serling. Serling is one of my personal heroes, and I couldn't be more excited about this property. We aim to do the genius of Serling justice, both in our representations of him and the many creatures and characters that live in that fantastic universe. There's lots more news to come, but the first product should hit in time for San Diego Comic-Con 2009."

Robot Monster, the Sound of Horror

This news in from Travis Broyles of Robot Monster, Inc.

"Robot Monster is an independent label by and for musicians associated with the "horror" genre. Our mission is simple. Screw the mainstream industry, maintain a true DIY aesthetic and provide our artists with the highest per sale return available for this niche market. We answer to no one but our bands, and you - our demented listeners!

"We currently feature bands from both coasts, as well as the UK - with new acts joining this spring to further broaden our regional coverage. Tours are in the works for spring / summer, covering both coasts and nationally, as well as traditional radio campaigns in late spring to support our pending releases."

Check out our fine family of musical miscreants!

http://www.myspace.com/thexepidemic
http://www.myspace.com/thechurchforsinners
http://www.myspace.com/aw
http://www.myspace.com/deadvampires
http://www.myspace.com/gruesomeboys
http://www.myspace.com/deadpleasurestheband

LOTT D: Pick A Post Sensation 5

Beware! The archives have been unburied, and the hideous horrors released! For your entertainment and edification pleasure, of course. Members of the League of Tana Tea Drinkers dig deep to find their past misdeeds...and reveal them to you!

 

Evil on Two Legs continues their look into the fashion sense of the Friday the 13th series by focusing on the cast of characters presented in the aptly named Friday the 13th Part 2 (please see our first articlefor a look at the original film). Featuring one of the best dressed final girls of the series as well as Jason in the iconic "bag-head" costume, this should be a lot of fun.

It's only academic for the fantastic Theofantastique to interview Dr. Adam Possamai, Senior Lecturer in Sociology at the University of Western Sydney. He has researched and written extensively on new religions, as well as the nexus of the fantastic in popular culture and its connection with spirituality to form what he has labeled “hyper-real spiritualities.”

Billy Loves Stu tells us how Roddy Piper and his tight jeans saved the world. From the moment we see him stroll into frame, his jeans fitting snugly, his blond streaked mullet flowing in the breeze; we instantly fall in love with part time actor/full time pro wrestler, Roddy Piper as the hero named Nada in 1988's They Live.

LOTT D Round Table: Violence In Today's Horror Movies How Much Is Too Much?

Other scenes, while violent, fell within the range of contemporary horror films, which strive to invent new ways to kill people, so the horror fans in the audience will get a laugh (Roger Ebert, The Last House on the Left).

Is Roger Ebert right?

Are me and you and them, and all the rest of us horror fans who eagerly frequent the dark cinema at the ungodliest hours looking for new, effects-improved, and more stomach and psyche-sickening ways to see people killed? Are we jaded? Are we insensitive? Or are we just fans who know it's all a bloody gag, a make-believe setup in a fantasy world. Even so, why do we get such a kick out of seeing other people get skewered, fricasseed and dismembered in ever-increasingly morbid ways?

The following members of LOTT D give their impressions on the subject.

Fascination With Fear shares its thoughts on contemporary violence in horror movies. Movie critics today (and probably always will) find horror fans inexplicable. They just don't get why we run out to the latest horror movie on opening weekend. They simply do not understand we are looking for the next great horror flick. (Still looking.....)

TheoFantastique finds some truth in Roger Ebert's blanket statement. In my commentary that follows I will relate my view that Ebert’s statement is both understandable and correct in a sense, and yet also indicative of an unfortunate stereotype about horror fans.

And Now the Screaming Starts looks at Roger Ebert's statement by way of The Toxic Avenger musical and New York Times critic Charles Isherwood. For Ebert, Isherwood, and I suspect a large number of critics and fans, the issue is the gratuity of so much genre art. By "gratuitous" I don't refer to extreme violence (though that is certainly the case in many horror flicks). Rather, I mean the pointlessness of its extremes.

Groovy Age of Horror discusses the standards of horror fans and illustrates the difference between intended and unintended flaws in movies, and how they can make a quirky and appealing difference in the viewing experience.

And finally me. How do I feel about it? At first I took offense at Ebert's statement: he includes every horror fan, which makes it dead wrong simply because not all of us want more creative and sadistic killing in horror movies. Some of us actually believe it is more important to scare us or make our hearts beat in terror, not disgust us. It comes down to effectively telling a story with all elements coordinated to enhance that telling in a skillful and emotionally compelling way--really the goal of every movie, not just horror.

But he still has a point; the tacked-on, completely gratuitous, microwave scene at the end of The Last House on the Left is the poster child for what inhibits horror from becoming more than the sum of its blood and gore and mayhem. Many horror movies pander to the lowest common denominator of visual effect, and get lost in the elements comprising the movie, instead of making us lose ourselves in the complete story being told.

What do you think?

LOTT D: Pick a Post Sensation 4

Beware! The archives have been unburied, and the hideous horrors released! For your entertainment and edification pleasure, of course. Members of the League of Tana Tea Drinkers dig deep to find their past misdeeds...and reveal them to you!

Theofantastique looks at two small screen treasures from the '70s: Many readers will be familiar with House of Dark Shadows (1970), and The Night Stalker (1972) from this time period, but perhaps far fewer will be familiar with what I regard as two gems from the period: The Norliss Tapes and Satan’s Triangle.

Billy Loves Stu sends a letter to Camp Stonewater regarding The Burning: You might have heard that we had some problems up here ... it's true, seems that one of the former groundskeepers went a little nuts-o after some kids burnt him up a couple of years ago, and now the killjoy is trying to ruin it for everyone else. What a jerk.

The Vault of Horror celebrates a quarter-century of Freddy Krueger: That's right, Mr. Fred Krueger has been haunting our dreams for one score and five years now, ever since Wes Craven first birthed him onto the cinematic landscape in 1984, one of the most brilliant creations since the heyday of Universal Studios.

Dinner With Max Jenke continues the Freddy frenzy: I can't say that the Elm Street films were always favorites of mine but Freddy's cult hero status was part of what made '80s horror fun. There's a whole generation of now-twentysomething horror fans who bought their first issues of FANGORIA because Freddy was on the cover.

Zombos' Closet of Horror scares up some ghosts in The Gravedancers: While the smartly dressed paranormal investigators in The Gravedancers aren't exactly the plumbers by day, fearless supernatural inquirers by night kind, they still manage to do a few things right. But when you go dancing on other people's graves, well, you might as well stick a "Kick Me" sign on your back and be done with it.

What the Hell? Tokyo Gore Police (2008)

ZC Rating 2 of 7: Fair 

 

I grabbed Glenor Glenda's elbow as her foot slipped on the ice water puddling across the Mongolian teak wood floor of Zombos' study. She composed herself, slid the steaming hot mug of Satan's Balls back to the center of her serving tray, and properly presented Chef Machiavelli's frothy and zesty spiced rum-cocoa concoction--splashed with peach-ginger--to our shivering and quite unexpected guest. Our housekeeper waited expectantly as he took a sip and neatified her uniform with much suspicious intent.

"May I get you a blanket...Mister...? Glenor asked.

"Lucifer. Oh, hell, let's not stand on formality; just call me Luc, okay? You're a darling, but I doubt a blanket would help." Lucifer's long red tail waved excitedly as he sipped his drink. "By Tartarus! This drink is wicked bad! And you say your Chef doesn't use any black arts? Amazing! My cook couldn't find her way round a souffle, even with her three heads. Damn creature burns everything. Ah, this sinful beverage is heating up my rump. In spite of all the fur in my nether region I was going numb down there, you know." He winked at our unusually flirtatious housekeeper. Glenor giggled.

I cleared my throat. She stopped giggling.

"Oh, jealous are we? You needn't be." He winked at me and flicked his tongue in a devilish manner. Glenor clapped her hand to her mouth stifling another giggle, which was doing its best to burst forth. My withering glance at her helped keep it at bay.

I was desperate. "Zombos? Any luck?"

Zombos was standing behind his Carlton House desk, holding the phone in one hand and a thick legal document in the other. Every now and then a few more sheets of paper slipped from the document and fluttered to the floor. He shrugged. "Sosumi is looking into it. He doesn't know how this could have happened."

Sosumi 'Jimmy' Jango was Zombos' crackerjack lawyer.

Lucifer finished his drink and smacked his lips. I motioned to Glenor to bring another one for our frisky guest. It looked like evening vespers would be well over by the time Zombos found the document we needed.

"What is that Jimmy?" said Zombos into the phone. "It is in Attachment 66? Okay. Okay, I will look for it." Zombos hung up the phone. "He is almost here. He said to look for--"

"Attachment 66, yes, I heard," I said.

"Ouch! Oh, you devil!" gasped Glenor with delight.

I looked at Glenor.

"He pinched me," she said giggling as she hastily left the room.

I looked at Lucifer; he shrugged and smiled and winked again. I looked back at Zombos imploringly. "Let's find that attachment pronto, shall we? Did you check the Wooten? You tend to bury stuff in there pretty well."

"Of course!" Zombos turned around and quickly opened the doors of his Wooten desk. The two places Zombos relies on to hide, store, or forget things are his closet and his cherished Wooten desk. Since the Wooten desk is smaller than his closet, I figured it would be easier to search first.

"Well, I'll be," said Zombos.

"You found Attachment 66?" I excitedly asked.

"What? Oh that, no. I found my set of Brasher Doubloons. I was wondering what happened to them.”

"Great, I'll let Philip Marlowe know. What about the legal document?" My spirits were sinking fast.

"No, I do not see--wait a minute."

"Yes?"

"I found it!" Zombos said triumphantly.

"Thank god," I sighed. Lucifer cleared his throat. "Sorry," I said, shooting a glance his way. When I looked back to Zombos he was doing the walk the dog move with his gold-trimmed Duncan YoYo. He found that, too. I sighed again. There but for the grace of god I thought. Lucifer cleared his throat more loudly and gave me a smoldering stare.

"We really need that legal document...now," I implored Zombos.

"Oh, yes, yes. Let me see." He put the YoYo back and opened another draw. "Here it is." He held up Attachment 66. "Let me see, now. Jimmy said to check the waiver at the bottom of page 13. Hmmm...hmmm...not good. Here, you better read it."

LOTT D: Pick a Post Sensation 3

Beware! The archives have been unburied, and the hideous horrors released! For your entertainment and edification pleasure, of course. Members of the League of Tana Tea Drinkers dig deep to find their past misdeeds...and reveal them to you!

Will Reflections on Film and TV Let the Right One In? You be the judge. At first blush, the snow seems beautiful, but on closer reckoning you see it for what it is: a blanket of cold despair, covering everything, raining down. Endlessly down.

Billy Loves Stu parties with the all singing, all dancing, all slashing The Fan; a strange film that blends the typical slasher flick with a backstage fable about an older glamor gal attempting to reclaim her place at the top of the heap by agreeing to be in a musical. Imagine All About Eve meets He Knows Your Alone, or something like that.

There's More!

The Vault of Horror goes all Part 2 in their never ending kaiju quest for Showa-era Godzilla (did they mean showering with Godzilla?). In case you missed it, here's the first part of my loving dissection of Godzilla's original cinematic exploits, wherein I spotlighted the first, and best, of them all, 1954's Gojira. Now let's pick things up with the first sequel, and move on from there.

Igloo of the Uncanny isn't joking when it names British Comedy Greats doing horror! Comedy is easy, horror is hard.

Love Train for the Tenebrous Empire gets all hot and steamy for Emanuelle In America. (this naughty excerpt has been censored by the Committee for Decency and Prim and Proper Blogging Standards.)

Theofantastique reveals its love affair with the bloodsucking Brady bunch in Lost Boys. One of my favorite vampire films is a “cult” classic, Joel Schumacher’s 1987 film The Lost Boys. I was therefore pleased to find a paper presented by Jeremy Tirrell at the national convention of the Popular Culture Association that deals with the film titled “The Bloodsucking Brady Bunch: Reforming the Family Unit in the The Lost Boys.

The Drunken Severed Head draws a complete picture around the art of Universal Monster Army's Linda Miller. She's also a natural wit, and a librarian by trade. Like me, she is a member of the Universal Monster Army. At the UMA she impresses everyone with her watercolor renderings of classic horror scenes.