ZC Rating 2 of 7: Fair
I grabbed Glenor Glenda's elbow as her foot slipped on the ice water puddling across the Mongolian teak wood floor of Zombos' study. She composed herself, slid the steaming hot mug of Satan's Balls back to the center of her serving tray, and properly presented Chef Machiavelli's frothy and zesty spiced rum-cocoa concoction--splashed with peach-ginger--to our shivering and quite unexpected guest. Our housekeeper waited expectantly as he took a sip and neatified her uniform with much suspicious intent.
"May I get you a blanket...Mister...? Glenor asked.
"Lucifer. Oh, hell, let's not stand on formality; just call me Luc, okay? You're a darling, but I doubt a blanket would help." Lucifer's long red tail waved excitedly as he sipped his drink. "By Tartarus! This drink is wicked bad! And you say your Chef doesn't use any black arts? Amazing! My cook couldn't find her way round a souffle, even with her three heads. Damn creature burns everything. Ah, this sinful beverage is heating up my rump. In spite of all the fur in my nether region I was going numb down there, you know." He winked at our unusually flirtatious housekeeper. Glenor giggled.
I cleared my throat. She stopped giggling.
"Oh, jealous are we? You needn't be." He winked at me and flicked his tongue in a devilish manner. Glenor clapped her hand to her mouth stifling another giggle, which was doing its best to burst forth. My withering glance at her helped keep it at bay.
I was desperate. "Zombos? Any luck?"
Zombos was standing behind his Carlton House desk, holding the phone in one hand and a thick legal document in the other. Every now and then a few more sheets of paper slipped from the document and fluttered to the floor. He shrugged. "Sosumi is looking into it. He doesn't know how this could have happened."
Sosumi 'Jimmy' Jango was Zombos' crackerjack lawyer.
Lucifer finished his drink and smacked his lips. I motioned to Glenor to bring another one for our frisky guest. It looked like evening vespers would be well over by the time Zombos found the document we needed.
"What is that Jimmy?" said Zombos into the phone. "It is in Attachment 66? Okay. Okay, I will look for it." Zombos hung up the phone. "He is almost here. He said to look for--"
"Attachment 66, yes, I heard," I said.
"Ouch! Oh, you devil!" gasped Glenor with delight.
I looked at Glenor.
"He pinched me," she said giggling as she hastily left the room.
I looked at Lucifer; he shrugged and smiled and winked again. I looked back at Zombos imploringly. "Let's find that attachment pronto, shall we? Did you check the Wooten? You tend to bury stuff in there pretty well."
"Of course!" Zombos turned around and quickly opened the doors of his Wooten desk. The two places Zombos relies on to hide, store, or forget things are his closet and his cherished Wooten desk. Since the Wooten desk is smaller than his closet, I figured it would be easier to search first.
"Well, I'll be," said Zombos.
"You found Attachment 66?" I excitedly asked.
"What? Oh that, no. I found my set of Brasher Doubloons. I was wondering what happened to them.”
"Great, I'll let Philip Marlowe know. What about the legal document?" My spirits were sinking fast.
"No, I do not see--wait a minute."
"Yes?"
"I found it!" Zombos said triumphantly.
"Thank god," I sighed. Lucifer cleared his throat. "Sorry," I said, shooting a glance his way. When I looked back to Zombos he was doing the walk the dog move with his gold-trimmed Duncan YoYo. He found that, too. I sighed again. There but for the grace of god I thought. Lucifer cleared his throat more loudly and gave me a smoldering stare.
"We really need that legal document...now," I implored Zombos.
"Oh, yes, yes. Let me see." He put the YoYo back and opened another draw. "Here it is." He held up Attachment 66. "Let me see, now. Jimmy said to check the waiver at the bottom of page 13. Hmmm...hmmm...not good. Here, you better read it."
