Zombos' Closet

Undead and Philosophizing It

"What is it about zombies?" asked Zombos. He put aside his cup.

"I'm not sure I follow you," I said. Shadows from the long day drifted lazily on the floor of the solarium. I had been trimming the corpse plants and orchids while he sipped his late afternoon coffee.

"That book, the Undead and Philosophy: Chicken Soup for the Soulless one. I was reading it last night." Zombos put his hand to his chin.

I gulped. A little philosophy can be a dangerous thing, especially when rattling around in a head like his with nothing to cushion it's impact against the inside of his thick skull. The vision of a ball-bearing cracking the side of a glass sprang uppermost in my mind. I'd rather be a poor servant to a poor master then have to listen to Zombos' philosophical ruminations.

Chindi Speaks: The Dresden Files

Although I missed the premiere episode of The Dresden Files on the Sci Fi Channel, all-knowing, all-TV-viewing Chindi wrote up a review for us. And anyone who can use the word "nictitating" in a sentence can write a review for Zombos Closet anytime.

In the interest of full disclosure, I have not yet read Jim Butcher’s original fantasy books upon which the SCI FI Channel's new, original series, The Dresden Files, is based. I suppose that means I may have saved myself from the all too familiar disappointment when a TV adaptation fails to live up to the vision created by the author. On the other hand, I was quite taken with the premiere episode of The Dresden Files, “Birds of a Feather”.

Interview with Raymond "Coffin Joe" Castile

There is a method to director/persona Jose Mojica Marins' madness. Ze do Caixao, or simply Coffin Joe to his American horrorhead fans, is a sardonic and sadistic Nietzschean-styled anti-hero, whose mundane heretical beliefs lead him to humiliate and torture countless victims — in wonderfully gruesome and fun ways — yet sanctimoniously cherish and laud over children at the same time.

There is something strangely entrancing in watching the machinations and sardonic deeds of Coffin Joe as he painstakingly struggles to find the perfect woman to bear his perfect son, while gleefully terrorizing and murdering everyone else in the process.

Coffin Joe, a village undertaker who dresses the part with dark top hat and billowing cape, is introduced in Marins' first film, At Midnight I’ll Take Your Soul. The archetypal fortune-telling witch, as well as Coffin Joe himself, deliver monologues at the beginning of the film; the witch, to presage future events, and Coffin Joe to rant about his philosophy of heresy and superiority. The spook show styled sets, chalky opening credits, and grainy chiaroscuro blend together to create a moody and surprisingly effective low-budget film. The ease at which Coffin Joe slips into serial killing mode is startling, and he easily can be seen as the nascent model for later nihilistic anti-heroes of the killing-screen, including Hannibal “The Cannibal” Lecter, and Freddy Kruger.

In the second film, This Night I’ll Possess Your Corpse, higher production values (well, somewhat higher), allow for more open set pieces, and a color interlude detailing a fun, Trash Cinema version of hell, complete with muscular pitch fork carrying devils, and well-endowed topless female victims. Lots of blood, too. There are Universal Studios horror -styled homages galore, including the requisite horribly-deformed and murderous hunchbacked assistant, and the mad scientist  laboratory complete with flashing lights, sounds and operating table.

In one memorable scene that will have you looking over your shoulder and itchy all over, lots of big, hairy spiders crawl over sleeping nubile women. Eventually, the torch-wielding village mob, fed up with Coffin Joe's deadly antics, finally hunt him down through a sticky swamp at the end of the film.

Raymond Castile knows Coffin Joe well —

Signs Of Our Times

Submitted for your perusal.

I have no witty remark to make here: no sly quip or sublime witticism. This is just a snapshot in time, just another sign of our times.

75th Anniversary Edition DVD of The Mummy?

Scott Essman, over at Visionary Media, is on a mission to get the 75th Anniversary Edition DVD of The Mummy released. Due to the slow sales on Frankenstein and Dracula's anniversary editions, Universal is reluctant to do it. Here's Scott's pitch:

Do you want your Mummy?  How badly?  How much do YOU care?

Due to sluggish sales of the recent DRACULA and FRANKENSTEIN DVD sets, and due to something called "low tracking numbers," Universal is balking at releasing a 75th anniversary DVD with all-new bonus features for the 1932 Boris Karloff classic, THE MUMMY.

Aren't you sick of complaining about endless repackagings when a classic DVD is re-re-released AGAIN with no new features??? Now's your time to voice your opinion, WHILE THERE IS *STILL* TIME.

THE MUMMY was an instant icon and spawned four 1940s sequels, and numerous remakes and retellings at other studios, but the 1932 film is still undeniably the greatest of them all. SO, GET INVOLVED! If you want to save THE MUMMY, send me an e-mail and tell me so ONLY to: mummy75th@yahoo.com

To download Scott's wonderfully illustrated write-up on make-up master, Jack Pierce, and The Mummy, click here. It's a PDF (400K); you'll need Adobe Acrobat Reader to view it.

Yvonne "Lily Munster" De Carlo: Truly Dead at 84

I am part of that monster generation that had the pleasure, as a youngster, to watch the beautiful Yvonne De Carlo play America's most-loved vampire mom, Lily Munster. My life has been all the better because of it. How odd that may sound, it is entirely true. Thanks Yvonne.

You can read about her amazing career on CNN.

You can also check out her films on IMDB, and on Wikipedia.

Interview with Director Lance Weiler

"Can I come out now?" A sheet of paper slid under the closet door as Zombos entered the room.

He stooped to pick it up. "Who is in my closet and what is this?" he asked, looking at the sheet.

"Oh, that's director Lance Weiler. I locked him in there until he finished answering a few questions," I said, taking the sheet from him.

Zombos looked perplexed. "But what is he doing in my closet?"

"I mentioned to him about your vast collection of horror-related trinkets, gimcracks, and movie spoilage. He couldn't wait to see it," I explained. “That’s how I got the interview in the first place.”

"You locked the director of Head Trauma in my closet?"

"Yes.”

"To be clear, the co-director of The Last Broadcast, the first digitally-rendered and distributed movie, is locked in my closet?

"Yes."

Zombos was silent for a moment. "Make sure you check his pockets before he leaves."

"Of course," I assured him.

Zombos left the room. I took out the key to unlock the door.

"Hey, wait a minute." said Weiler, "I didn't see what's down Aisle K. Man, this place is huge."

I put the key back in my pocket. Now that I had his answers, there was no rush.

 

What motivated you to become an indie director/writer? 

I got hooked on photography at an early age and thought that I'd become a photo journalist, but then I fell in love with movies. I started making movies in high school, instead of writing papers, and I was hooked.

What should budding independent directors be doing now to shape their careers?

Write, shoot and edit as much as you can. The more you do it the better you'll become. Watch what others are doing. If there is someone that you respect, research how they made it to where they are. Don't give up. if you have the drive and the desire it will work out. Lastly, take the time to learn as much about the process as possible. The more you know about all the aspects of filmmaking the better.

Which directors influence you the most and why?

Stan Brakhage for his daring use of image and experimental structure. I've seen Dog Star Man more than any other film, and I never grow tired of it. Roman Polanski for the atmosphere and tension he brings to films like Repulsion, The Tenant, Rosemary's Baby and Chinatown. David Lynch for his independence and warped vision of the world. Inland Empire is a return to the strange and bizarre world that harkens back to Eraserhead.

You were a pioneer for digital filmmaking when it was a small blip on the industry's radar: why, and what challenges did you face going all digital?

It was bleeding edge at the time. When Stefan [Avalos] and I started making The Last Broadcast in 1996 the concept of editing on a desktop PC was a novelty. We had to build our own computers to do it. But we were determined to make a movie with pro-sumer gear. In the end we helped to spark a whole digital revolution not only in the way we made the movie, but in the way we distributed it. At the time, digital was treated like a bastard child. There was an attitude that if it wasn't shot on film then it wasn't serious filmmaking. A couple years later the attitude would change. Now digital is an excepted way to make work.

What are your favorite horror and non-horror films? Why?

The Tenant — love the tone and atmosphere. It is a haunting film, and it's pacing is slow and methodical. The Conversation — I think it's one of Coppola's best films. I love the use of sound, and the political undertones are just as relevant today as they were during Watergate. The Shining— I'm a huge fan of Kubrick. Alien — thrill ride with amazing vision and production design that still looks great today. Docs like Grey Gardens, High School, Salesman — cinema verite at its best. There are a ton of others that I love for various reasons.

Where do you see the film industry heading in terms of production and distribution in the years to come?

Digital. Everything will be digital. The number of movies shot on film will continue to drop until everything is eventually shot digitally. Distribution to theaters, homes, hand-held devices, etc., will all be digital. We'll be drowning in media and movies. Movies will find narrow niches and devout audiences, like the way magazines and music have. Since things will be digital a remixing culture will explode and we'll see more remixes of movies. Both fan driven, and depending on digital laws maybe, even a remix culture that can turn a profit. The biggest challenges will be around copyright, rights management and fair use.

Complete this sentence: If I had (blank), I'd (blank). Please explain your fill-ins for the blanks, too.

If I had 10 million dollars I'd create ten movies with various directors and start a new filmmaking model that gave control and ownership to the people creating the work. The films would be all digital and there would be no physical media like DVDs. Everything would be delivered via digital distribution. In addition, we'd work to involve the audience in every phase of the process to allow them to observe from start to finish. They would also be able to contribute in various ways.

Castle Dracula for Sale

This just in from Mr. Chin, who gleaned it from Slashdot:

Want to own the real castle that may have inspired the legend of Dracula? The Transylvanian castle associated with Vlad the Impaler, who may have been part of the inspiration for Bram Stoker's Count Dracula, is on sale for £40 million ($77 million). Bran Castle, near the historic city of Brasov, in central Romania, draws 450,000 visitors a year because of its association with 15th-century Prince Vlad Tepes III. (Wikipedia points out that Bran Castle's ties to Vlad are weak and disputed.) The local town council has been offered first refusal; they have 30 days to review the offer and then the property will be put on the market.

Damn, now where did I put my checkbook? I bet the heating bills are murder, though.

Bela Does It Best Dracula (1931)

ZC Rating 6 of 7: Classic

It seemed the whole room was filled with mist. Then I saw two red eyes glaring at me, approaching quickly, giving way to a livid face contorted into the gravest mask of terror.

"For god's sake, hide me!" cried Zombos.

"Daddos, where are you daddos? You've got a dance question." Zombos Jr was getting closer.

"Playing High School Musical the DVD Board Game, I see," I said, applying more steam to the corpse plants. I had been enjoying the warm, pleasant quiet of the solarium, attending to my botanical chores. Warm, pleasant, moments never last, do they?

"I don't know why Zimba ever got him that hellish game." Zombos frantically looked about the room for a hiding place.

"Try behind the bench over there," I pointed. For a man his age, he did move fast when given sufficient reason. Perhaps I should mention I recommended the game to Zimba. It did make such a wonderful Christmas gift for Zombos Jr; the little fellow simply can't get enough of it.

Zombos Jr came running into the room. "Did you see my daddos?"

Before I could answer, Zombos sneezed loud enough to wake the dead.

"There you are!"  He gleefully ran to Zombos and hustled him out of the room. Zombos let out a moan of despair that followed him all the way up the stairs and down the east hall to the playroom. Wait a minute; I mistakenly told him to hide behind the bench next to the orchids. Silly me, the man’s terribly allergic to them. How could I have forgotten? I turned back to my duties, pondering on another pair of red eyes glaring through mist, deep into the dead of night.

 

The year was 1931. Universal Studios had originally planned a big budget movie, more along the lines of 1923's The Hunchback of Notre Dame and 1925's The Phantom of the Opera, but the Great Depression squelched those plans.  Lon Chaney, the Man of a Thousand Faces and master of extreme characterizations, was onboard to star in Dracula, playing both the titular vampire and Van Helsing, the titular vampire's nemesis. Chaney succumbed to a throat hemorrhage before production began, leaving director and creative partner, Tod Browning, disappointed and disheartened. Other names were bandied about to replace him, including Conrad Veidt, but only one person was born to play the role of the undead count: Bela Lugosi. Say what you will about the shortcomings of Browning's movie,  it is Lugosi's performance as the aristocratic count of corrupting evil that has defined the sartorial look, voice, and mannerisms of Bram Stoker's Dracula ever since. Lugosi is Dracula, down to his hypnotic stare, sensual cape swirl, and suave, upper-class malicious pretentions.

Amazingly, Lugosi, who had starred in the smash stage play, Dracula, by Hamilton Deane and later John L. Balderston, had to fight fang and nail for the movie role. The expatriate Hungarian actor whose singular, syllabic voice was both a blessing for playing the blood-thirsty count, and a curse for most of his other roles, took less pay then his fellow actors to get it. Yet, it’s his performance that has provided horrorheads everywhere with undying dreams of immortality, and punsters with a Google's worth of Lugosi-like enunciations.

Top Ten Grossest Candies

Zombos reader, the inscrutable Mr. Chin, notifies us of this list of top ten grossest candies from Candy Addict.

To see if your favorite sweet, but gross, confection made the list, go to Candy Addict. I can't think of a better way to start the new year.

Of course, once you go there, toss your resolution to lose weight out the window. But it is a glorious way to go!