On a recent jaunt to Crossville, Tennessee, I came across this groady little clown statuette in an antique shop. Yes, his nose is a light bulb and shines bright when lit. Yes, he's quite a scary and ugly little thing. Yes, he's really not, and I repeat not, a good gift idea. But I couldn't resist. I can only imagine those poor kids scared in their beds when their parents brought this night light home. So, you may Elf on the Shelf, but I've got...well, you know...

