From Zombos' Closet

Halloween Witch and Honeycomb Cauldron

I don't think that poor frog stands a chance, do you? That skull doesn't look too happy, either.

Halloween Party: The Gross Out Game

I recommend playing this card game before you start eating your trick or treat candy. Here's a sampling of the 27 card set.

My Halloween: Scooby Stole the Snacks

Five questions asked over a glowing Jack o'Lantern, under an Autumn moon obscured by passing clouds...in between mouthfuls of candy corn...Sammy from Scooby Stole the Snacks leaves the Mystery Machine for a moment to talk about Halloween.

 

Why is Halloween important to you?

Halloween has always been the only time of the year where I could go out in a Scooby Doo outfit and not receive any weird looks from the general population. Also, it has been a great opportunity for my family, primarily my 8-year old brother, to actually have fun together. Plus, free candy! That's always a bonus. See, I go trick-r'-treating every year, and I just overall love that time of the year.

Describe your ideal Halloween.

My ideal Halloween? Well, honestly, I'm one of those simple people. My ideal Halloween would consist of it being on a weekend, so I wouldn't have to go to school. There would have to be homemade Halloween goodies, like my peppermint patty spiders and mummy hot dogs. My family and I would carve jack-o-lanterns in the morning, then relax and watch good old black and white movies, such as Bela Lugosi's Dracula. Then, we would go trick-'r-treating, and come home and indulge on all the free chocolate.

What Halloween collectibles do you cherish, or hate, or both?

I personally cherish my old glow in the dark plastic skeleton that I hang on my door every Halloween. It's cheap and simple, sure, but it's a classic. I don't particularly like those candy bowls that have the hand that grabs you when you reach into the bowl. It was creepy at first, but it's really getting old every year. I both hate/cherish those fake spiderwebs that you can hang on bushes, trees, etc. They're awesome looking, but just a pain in the butt to actually hang up.

When was your very first Halloween, the one where "you really knew" it was Halloween, and how was it?

The first Halloween I remember was the year I dressed up as a Hershey's Kiss. I must have been around 2-3 years old at the time. My mom handmade the costume and I was the cutest Hershey's Kiss ever. I don't quite remember how it was, but I'm sure it was enjoyable, since I was smiling in all the pictures my mom took of me that night.

What's the one Halloween question you want to be asked, and what's your answer?

Q: What is the worst possible outfit that you can find at any Halloween store?

A: Any outfit involving Jersey Shore, or Lady Gaga

Halloween Grow Your Own Mummy

Here's a Grow Your Own novelty a bit more family-friendly than the bloody hand. Again, great use of simple color and illustration on the card.

Halloween Monster Pooper Wind-Up

There is something giddily stupid about this wind-up monster pooping candy. Those candy poopers for Christmas, like the reindeer, or even the Halloween cat dropping these sugary dumps is more sensible in design. Although I'd rather it look more gruesome it does have a certain style to it, I'll grant you that. The catch-line is perfect: Wind me up and watch me go!

It would be more quixotically daring to have a rotting,worm-infested, puss-blowing zombie pooping these brightly colored candy treats, though, wouldn't it? Or maybe I've been watching too many horror movies.

My Halloween: Nathicana

Five questions asked over a glowing Jack o'Lantern, under an Autumn moon obscured by passing clouds...in between mouthfuls of candy corn...while Nathicana impatiently waits for the inevitable zombie apocalypse, she shares some Halloween spirit with us.

 

Why is Halloween important to you?

Candy. Lots of candy. OK, OK, not candy. Halloween is the only holiday I celebrate. I love that it doesn’t have all the baggage that the other holidays have; no worrying about gifts, no arguing with family members over a dried out turkey dinner, no secret Santa crap. It’s just pure fun. Honestly, it’s the only time of year where people seem to take pleasure in the holiday itself. Plus it lets me inflict my love of creepy things upon others.

Describe your ideal Halloween.

I’m pretty low key in my old age so I suppose my ideal Halloween is what we usually do every year. Two-day horror movie marathon (Hey, I grew up outside of Detroit: Halloween starts on Devil’s Night), then we have some friends over for a bonfire, and drinks. Maybe later we’ll terrorize the neighbors, howl at the moon, conduct a few virgin sacrifices. You know, nothing too exciting.

What Halloween collectibles do you cherish, or hate, or both?

They’re not collectibles but I just hate, hate those damn inflatable cutesy decorations people put on their lawns. They absolutely drive me crazy. Halloween is supposed to be spooky. Ugh, I’ll stop now before I go on a tangent about how I think Halloween has been sissified over the years.

Obviously, I love anything really creepy but my favorite item isn’t really a Halloween collectible. It’s a little statue of St. Francis of Assisi that I got from a church sale. It looks like it was created by Francis Bacon. It’s disturbing and hideous and it’s awesome. I don’t really have anything that would be considered a collectible when I think about it, mostly just decorations.

When was your very first Halloween, the one where you really knew it was Halloween, and how was it?

The very first Halloween that I remember distinctly was when I was seven. I was stuck at my Grandparents house sick with something or other so I didn’t get to go trick or treating. I did, however, get to stay up late that night and watch the local channel’s thriller double-feature: Children Shouldn’t Play With Dead Things and Night of the Living Dead. It was terrifying and gave me nightmares and I loved every second of it. That was the point where I began to love everything to do with horror, anything dark, macabre, or creepy. I might not have gotten any candy that Halloween but it was the best Halloween ever.

What's the one Halloween question you want to be asked and what's your answer?

Q: What’s your favorite movie to watch on Halloween?

A: Prince of Darkness. It’s an excellent film that I think is totally underrated which is a shame since it really has some great moments. Come on! “I have a message for you and you’re not going to like it. Pray for death”. That’s a freaking great line. I use it quite often, in fact.

Grow a Bloody Hand for Halloween

The marketing hype on this gruesome trick is zany fun: freak out your neighbors! Put it under a sibling's bed!

For a little rubber hand two inches in size (before growing), its visually striking display on this red, black, and white card package makes it irresistible. As well as the little bit of bone sticking out the end, which contrasts nicely against the red stump. How can you pass it up?

For an added treat, the disclaimer on the back is charmingly nonsensical: This toy is in no way intended to represent living people. Any resemblance is purely coincidental and not intended to harm anyone.

I suppose if you know someone who's all thumbs, they may be a little offended.

 

Halloween Beistle Witch Art-Tissue Centerpiece

As far as I know, they don't make these anymore. That's a shame. This witch strikes the right tone between spooky and Halloween party gal. Her glowing green-eyed familiar is quite a feline, too.

Halloween Electronic Witch Lantern

They may appear a little too happy but I still like these plastic Witch Lanterns. Though I must say I like the green-faced witch more. They make spooky sounds, too. I had a glass and metal pumpkin lantern back in the day: you know, when kids running around with glass and metal in their hands was permissable. I guess my fond memories of that potentially lethal lantern make me seek out even the plastic ones. But I do miss that sense of danger.

Halloween Beistle Cat Face Cutout

I picked up a few of these at the local card store I visit each year around this time. The woman who runs it worked in party goods for a long time and always seems to find Halloween cutouts you don't see much of anymore. She mentioned window-clings are the big thing right now. I suppose; but the big thing for me on Halloween is seeing Beistle cutouts, or Amscan's older ones. They are colorful, creative, and easily capture the spirit of Halloween in their images.

 

Halloween Skeleton and Tombstone Pop-Up Pin-On

Tombstones and skeletons go together like peanut butter and jelly.

Movie Review: Case 39 (2009) This Social Worker Needs Help

Zombos Says: Good (but formulaic)

It almost seems every horror movie this year has shown a kid hugging a pillow or a crucifix hanging on a wall--or both. Case 39 shows both, and adds Renee Zelwegger's puffy-pouting cheeks and coy eyes, which are better suited to her romantic roles. It also shows a little girl named Lillith (Jodelle Ferland) whose suspense-killing name is an obvious clue to her demeanor for any devout horror fan watching.

The 39th case in question concerns overworked Emily's (Renee Zelwegger) new assignment. Emily is a social worker who hates the overwhelming case load she struggles with but can't ignore any child in need. Lillith is Emily's 39th case and appears to be in need. Her parents want to kill her.

They almost do, but Emily's persistence manages to get Detective Barron (Ian McShane) involved just in time to stop them from roasting Lillith in the oven. Her parents head to the psychiatric ward while Lillith does a little social work of her own to eventually convince Emily to look after her. After Lillith moves into Emily's home is when those puffy-pouting cheeks work overtime with growing worry. Emily finally notices all those quirky things you should never ignore in a horror movie like: Lillith's parents locking themselves in their room at night with big honking bolts on their bedroom door; an ominous looking scratch in the wood floor; people start dying when phone calls are made from Emily's cell phone late at night; Lillith tells Emily she better provide lots of ice cream and nice things to say or else.

Here is where I take note of my disappointment. I thought Case 39 would try a different direction  for a change.  I hoped for a kid plagued by demons, not a demon-kid plaguing adults. We've seen evil kids before: pony-tailed Rhoda Penmark in The Bad Seed, sinister little Damien in The Omen, long-haired Samara in The Ring, and tightly-wound Esther in The Orphan. Ferland can hold her own against any of them, but the formula here ignores interesting possibilities an innocent child cursed by demon playmates can muster. Instead we have typical, all-purpose, no-seasoning-required scares coming from Emily's growing realization she was wrong about Lillith and her parents.

Some tension is here, but it is straighforward and builds predictably, although Christian Alvart directs us through it with strong imagery as shown in the oven-stuffer attempt by Lillith's parents--which shows another use for duct tape I bet you never thought of--a jaw slamming hard enough into a refrigerator door for both to crunch, sparingly used (until the end, anyway) CGI-enhanced demonic features playing across innocent little Lillith's face when she gets mad, and token growls and voices not of this world. True to Hollywood Horror Think, Zelwegger even gets a chance to run screaming in the rain wearing little more than raindrops. She does have great gams, though.

Ray Wright adds a subtle twist to the story: how will Emily, a social worker, deal with a kid-looking monster everyone else sees as an innocent angel? But he never brings it to a boil after the simmering set up. If you've seen The Crazies and Pulse remakes, you already know his approach. It's adequately underwhelming, lacking any finer points of fear-making, like making us guess what's going to happen next instead of worrying about how creatively he can make people die.

The breakout point should have come at this scene: Lillith sitting across the table from psychologist Doug (Bradley Cooper); he thinks he's talking to a little girl who's scared, but she makes him fearful for his own safety. Wright follows the path of least resistance and uses the moment to set up a nasty death later. It's a wasted opportunity for mounting real tension,  just so the CGI boys could gimmick up another corpus exitus?

Still, those gams are worth a look.