From Zombos' Closet

Mexican Lobby Card: Mad Doctor of Blood Island

A lurid illustration, great use of color and title text style, and a snapshot of monster acting monstrous makes this lobby card a schlocky delight.

Mexican Lobby Card: All the Colors of the Dark

Simple but effective use of a skull illustration highlights this Mexican lobby card.

Comic Book Review: Frankenstein, Agent of S.H.A.D.E 1

Zombos Says: Good

Grate Nick Fury, Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D onto Hellboy, add a little Universal Monster's seasoning, and bake until Metal Men done. Presto, you've got a dish of Frankenstein: Agent of S.H.A.D.E. Don't forget to garnish with a little Tokyo Pop wildness. 

The Frankenstein Monster is the top agent for the Super Human Advanced Defense Executive group. The Ant Farm is the 3 inch-sized globe the group travels the, er, globe with, at over 600 miles per hour. Frankenstein thinks the whole miniaturization process to get into the Ant Farm is rather goofy, and that's something Jeff Lemire needs to write around: the goofy factor. Metal Men goofy was good; Frankenstein: Agent of S.H.A.D.E goofy may or may not be so good, but it's hard to judge it all on the first issue.

Keeping up with Lemire's imagination is Alberto Ponticelli's detailed artwork, whose splash pages and large panels are exciting and well executed where they need to be. One large panel introduces Frankenstein's new team--although he prefers to work alone--the Creature Commandos: the Wolf Man, the Mummy, Dracula, and the Creature from the Black--no, wait a minute, I'm getting it all mixed up.

The actual Creature Commandos are: Dr. Nina Mazursky, amphibian human hybrid; Warren Griffith, Werewolf; Vincent Velcoro, Vampire; and Khalis, Mummy and medic. Father introduces them to Frankenstein when a town is overrun by hungry monsters that keep on coming, no matter how many are killed. Father is the mad scientist running S.H.A.D.E. He can regenerate himself into various human forms to keep on ticking. This time around he chose the form of a Japanese schoolgirl wearing a mask around her eyes. One of Lemire's naughty fantasies perhaps? Like I said, goofy. 

This first issue is perhaps a little too ambitious: there's a lot of matter of fact oddness to accept at face value, hopefully to be fleshed out later. Lemire manages to keep his story moving forward cleanly, however, and Ponticelli's pencils alone are a treat. The tone here reminds me of the storylines you'd find in DC comics from the 1970s, and Frankenstein's manner and dress make me think of the Robert De Niro Frankenstein character.

Although purists will have to deal with the Monster being named Frankenstein, this first issue is filled with enough wild, and promising, story and art to warrant your attention.

Battle For The Planet Of The Apes (1973) Pressbook

The final chapter? Who are they kidding?

 

Enough With Mockumentary Gimmickry Already

To Whom It May Concern:

Please stop making mockumentary movies told through found-footage video.

Really. Please. Stop.

While it started as a creative and novel tool to boost audience anxiety levels and heighten dramatic effects, stretching the confines of a limited budget, its overuse has forced a predictable repetitiveness that now is clearly used only to trim budgets, lessen the cinematography burden, and shorten script development (aka, needing a full script that tells a complete story; aka paying for good writers).

Too often now an audience is tasked with piecing together a fragmented story from time-chopped snippets of supposed found-footage, comprised of interminable, ho-hum-boring, inaction inserted between herky-jerky-murky scenes flitting by, fast and furious, leaving audiences alternating between picking popcorn from their teeth or struggling to comprehend what's happening.   

It wasn’t like this in the beginning.

Cannibal Holocaust, The Last Broadcast and The Blair Witch Project were ground-breaking, scary, and enhanced by these techniques. By the time Cloverfield, [REC], and Paranormal Activity had arrived, the handheld camera as documentor absolute, had begun to stretch credulity by forcing us to assume a person, within the context of each movie’s situation, could constantly keep a handheld camera rolling in the most dire situations, disregarding personal safety, and even life and limb. Of course, in plots where a mockumentary is an integral stimulus for the story such as Troll Hunter, The Last Exorcist, and to a lesser extent, Diary of the Dead, it is easier to suspend disbelief because of their natural-use context .

But incessant hand-holding cameras have certainly jumped the shark with Apollo 18 and quite possibly Paranormal Activity 3. Can anyone honestly say these movies, and the other ones lined up in the queue, use the mockumentary and found-footage techniques because their stories demand such use and couldn’t be told in another way? Or has Hollywood and independent filmmakers resorted to using “found-footage” because it’s convenient for cutting corners in the production process and camouflaging their LESS as MORE from the audience? Certainly, in the case of the Paranormal Activity franchise, if forced to stay within the confines of its mockumentary format, we will be forced to view its continuing hauntings through kodachrome, kinetascope, and eventually daguerreotypes, respectively.

So where do we go from here?

I implore you to drop the gimmicky overuse of the mockumentary and found-footage formats from horror movies and return to telling stories in a more demanding but visually satisfying way (aka drop the cheapening shaky-cam and off action angles), with well-written scenes devoid of stupefying inaction to pad out the minutes, and with properly fleshed out characters whose revealing dialog holds our attention. And then sufficiently light  it all so we can see what the hell’s happening to them.

Please. Really. Stop.

 

Marketing Your Book And You Part 1 By Scott M. Baker

What? You mean I spent a year writing my book, six months revising it, and three years getting it published, and you tell me that was the easy part?

Yup.

[NOTE: Of all the people I’ve talked to over the years in the publishing industry, most have stated that the average time to find a publisher is six years. Bear in mind, that’s the average. One mid-list SciFi writer who is now well established told me it took him ten years to place his first novel. So don’t get discouraged after your first dozen rejection slips. This is a long and ego-bruising process.]

It’s time for the harsh reality. Your novel is a product. In publishing, it’s competing with thousands of others just like it. If you’re lucky beyond your wildest dreams, you’ll hit a homerun your first time at bat like J.K. Rowling did withHarry Potter, or achieve the success Brian Keene did with The Rising and establish a wide following. However, more than likely, as with the vast majority of authors, you will have to struggle to build your reputation. You will have to make the readers aware that your book is out on the market, convince them to purchase a copy, and hope that they like it enough to come back for more and/or talk you about on their blog or Facebook/Twitter. Up until now you’ve spent all your time writing that first book. Now you have to spend just as much time marketing it if you ever hope to see your second book published. Trust me on this one – I’m speaking from experience.

[DISCLAIMER: What I’m about to say next is a generalization about the industry and does not hold true in each and every case. My publisher, Pill Hill Press, understands that it takes several years and several books for an author to come into his/her own, and is very nurturing in that process. However, I know of other publishers that I will not name that see their authors as resources to be exploited for their own gain. That is why, as I stressed in a previous blog, an author must be careful about who he/she contracts with and not feel as though they must take the first offer that comes along.]

Publishing is an industry. As in any industry, if you can’t turn a profit for the company, the company will let you go and find someone who can make them money. Publishers spend a certain amount to get your book into print in the anticipation that it will be popular and turn a profit. The industry closely tracks book sales. If the book doesn’t sell well, for whatever reason, and if it the publisher is not able to at least break even, then good luck getting them or anyone else to take a chance on your second book.

The good news is the rapid advances in e-publishing. Since the initial outlay to publish an e-book is so much less since the company does not have to worry about printing and shipping costs, the chances of your book turning a profit are greater. Conversely, your royalty on an e-book should be greater than with a hardcover or paperback.

Compounding the problem is the vast number of books on the market today. Gone are the days when a publishing house had a small but reliable cache of authors and would devote its time and resources to making them successful. Today, most publishers dedicate their limited public relations budget to those books or authors they deem most marketable, letting the rest of us fend for ourselves. Even those publishing houses that look after their authors include clauses in their contracts that require the author to take upon themselves much of the responsibility for marketing the book. It’s a fact of life of the industry today.

Years ago the author’s mantra used to be “Write or Die.” Today it’s “Market or Die.”

The good news is, marketing yourself and your book is neither costly nor difficult, and requires only a commitment of your time.

Since you have a product to sell, you need a place to sell it. So begin by setting up a blog. Don’t be too elaborate. The goal is to provide a forum to primarily discuss your writing, so everything that goes on it should be geared to that end. My blog layout contains the basics: a photo and brief bio of myself, links to my web presence and where to purchase my books, links to other websites I frequent, and banners to vampire- and zombie-related websites that have also provided links to my blog. As for your website, keep it simple. I recently closed down my old website because I was paying way too much for hosting it. My new site, which I am currently preparing, will contain bulk data (i.e. sample chapters from my books, book trailers, videos and photos) and links to my blog and Facebook/Twitter pages.

Before you begin, check out several blogs and websites for authors you like to see what they have done, then create your own. If the idea of setting up one intimidates you, don’t let it. There are several sites out there that allow the technologically-impaired to easily set up and manage a blog or website. Once you spend the time to create your blog and homepage, keep up with them. Try to post on your blog at least three days a week. If a potential fan clicks on your site and sees that it hasn’t been updated since the Red Sox won the last World Series, they won’t bother following you. It takes half a day at most to set one up and only a few hours a week to maintain it.

Also, be sure to keep the content interesting. Post updates about your writing, when you sign a contract or get published, any conventions or book signings you’re attending, etc. If someone reviews your work, link to their website and give them a shout out. And be sure to vary the content. If your blog is only about you and your writing, you’ll bore readers. Include postings that are fun or informative. I post the weekly Sunday Bunnies about my pets; reviews of genre books I’ve read and movies I’ve seen; and news about upcoming genre-related events. If the blog is all about you and how great you are, you’ll bore readers and lose followers.

 Read Part 2

My Halloween: Caffeinated Joe

Five questions asked over a glowing Jack o'Lantern, under an Autumn moon obscured by passing clouds...in between mouthfuls of candy corn...and coffie with Caffeinated Joe...

Why is Halloween important to you?

Well, first off, Autumn is my favorite season, so right off the bat, Halloween falls in the right spot. Second, horror films are my favorite genre, so it gets to be a win-win here. Just have always loved the crunch of leaves, the smell in the air, the sun setting earlier. Yeah, I know most people like it the opposite, but not me. Bring on the dark nights! From the spooky decorations, the TV specials and movie marathons, there really isn’t much that isn’t great about Halloween to me!

Describe your ideal Halloween.

Right now, an ideal Halloween involves my kids ending up in the costumes they want, whether they are hand made or store bought or a little of both. Them enjoying trick-or-treating and the Halloween parade in town is priority number one. But, once they are in bed, I situate myself in front of the TV and watch whatever horror goodness is airing. I do this all October, really, between AMC’s Monsterfest (or whatever it is called now), TCM’s classic films and whatever else is airing around the tube. Lots and lots of late nights every October! And I ALWAYS make sure to watch my favorite movie of all-time, Carpenter’s Halloween. I never tire of it.

What Halloween collectibles do you cherish, or hate, or both?

We have a bunch of stuff, Halloween-decoration-wise. We have a skeleton/ghost that descends while playing creepy music. Also have a haunted light-up village and other odds and ends. And I have horror movie stuff, collectibles from Halloween, Friday the 13th, etc. One of my favorites is a Jason mask I was given as a gift. Also have 1/4” scale Jason statue and a Michael Myers that plays the theme.

When was your very first Halloween, the one where "you really knew" it was Halloween, and how was it?

Well, I don’t remember my first Halloween. But I do remember my mother making our costumes and going as a clown one year. And then buying those Ben Cooper costumes, with the crappy masks that hurt and the ties that snapped after three houses. And coming home with a buttload of candy and swapping pieces out with my brothers and sister and cousins. And watching creepy shows on TV, including Charlie Brown.

What's the one Halloween question you want to be asked and what's your answer?

I don’t know. Maybe “What’s the oddest Halloween memory you have?” I would answer that one year, my brother, my sister and my cousins went trick-or-treating and then later that night going into the cemetery that was right behind our house. We walked all the way through to the far end, which was quite a walk. And they had this big religious statue. One of my cousins walked up to it and she pretended to be ‘entranced’. None of us were buying her act, but she laid down on the grass and then waited and when she stood she acted possessed. I have to admit, for a moment, my heart jumped. Not because of her non-acting, but just because of the mystery Halloween night has, especially being in a dark cemetery as the hours ticked closer to midnight!

I have no pictures of me from Halloween handy right now, but attached is one of my two younger kids from two Halloweens ago, at Disney World in Florida. My daughter is dressed up as Mrs. Lovett from Sweeney Todd and my son is dressed up as Ghost Charlie Brown from It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown. They got to trick-or-treat at Downtown Disney, which was a lot of fun, and then at my sister-in-law’s neighborhood, which was also fun – and warm, which was different, since we are from New England!

Thanks for letting me play!

My Halloween: John Skeleton

Five questions asked over a glowing Jack o'Lantern, under an Autumn moon obscured by passing clouds...in between mouthfuls of candy corn...with John Skeleton (John Skeleton's Horror Blog)...and also writing for Scream magazine when the lights are low...

Why is Halloween important to you?

Halloween, All Hallow’s Eve, Samhain…whatever name you call it by, there’s something thrilling about the 31^st of October that sends shivers down my spine…in the very best way possible!  I am fascinated with the origins of the holiday, especially the idea that on that evening all of the witches, demons, evil spirits, and sorcerers hold sway and celebrate their revelries under the tenebrous cover of night.

The fire festivals of Britain, the Scottish traditions, and the Celtic celebrations of Samhain have all filtered down through history and somehow manifested themselves in the only holiday dedicated to those things that go bump in the night. For a fan of horror and the Gothic such as myself, I feel like Halloween is the one day of the year that I can be myself, and also watch the “normal” folks get into the spirit of devilish delight! The gleefully ghoulish house decorations, the creepy costumes, the long hours of horror marathons running on the television, mountains of candy…I love every minute of it!

Describe your ideal Halloween.

My ideal All Hallow’s Eve falls upon the night of the full moon, with a few wisps of clouds above and a chill breeze rattling through hoary tree branches that stretch into the sky like decrepit and decaying fingers of the dead. Eldritch sounds can be heard echoing through the wood, emanating not from evil spirits of the forest, but from a large house situated deep among the trees, where the children of the night have gathered to celebrate the forces of Darkness. 

Massive and well-constructed, the numerous rooms of the old Victorian now serve as chambers of the morbid and macabre. Classic gems of horror cinema spray blood and gore across a massive projector screen in one room, while another contains multiple gaming consoles where eager players battle against the undead and other unholy creatures…or take on their personas themselves. Sepulchral melodies echo from a room where bodies twist and writhe in unholy ecstasy, and for the more adventurous there is even a fully equipped “torture” room where pleasure and pain melt and congeal together until they are one and the same.

The highlight of the evening comes at the witching hour, when an authentic Black Mass is performed deep in the bowels of the sanctuary…Okay, well I may have gotten a bit carried away there, but a man can dream, can’t he?

What Halloween collectibles do you cherish, or hate, or both?

As I currently live in Japan, there is a tragic dearth of Halloween collectibles to be had here in the Land of the Rising Sun. That said, I like to keep things in my bedroom that many people might find at least a little bit odd. Some of my favorite pieces that could be considered vaguely Halloween-related are my life-size skeleton model, two anatomical models, a bottle of some mysterious liquor with a cobra and scorpion inside, and my stuffed and mounted bat. Factor in my pet snake, scorpion, and tarantula, and it’s pretty much Halloween every day around here!

When was your very first Halloween, the one where you really knew it was Halloween, and how was it?

To be honest, while the memories have faded with time I still have photos of a Halloween night long ago when my parents dressed me up as a black cat, complete with a nose and whiskers supplied courtesy of my mother’s makeup box. I trace the roots of my urge to dress up and my love for Halloween back to that point.  As early as I can remember I always loved adorning my bedroom with fake spider webs, skeletons, and all manner of spooky paraphernalia, and in the end my parents always had to remove them, for if I had had my way it would have been like that all year round!

What's the one Halloween question you want to be asked and what's your answer?

Q: Who’s the zombie chick in the photo?

A: That would be yours truly last Halloween! While I wasn’t able to get so elaborate with the makeup, I had a blast with my friends at a big Goth party in Tokyo. 

Dracula and Plague of the Zombies Double Bill Pressbook

What I love about this large-format, foldout, double bill movie pressbook for Hammer's Dracula, Prince of Darkness and The Plague of the Zombies are the promotional giveaways offered: vampire fangs for boys  and zombie eyes (the old x-ray eyeglasses doing double duty here) for girls.

Cool gimmicks, but sexist in the wording: note how boys get to "fight back...bite back" with Dracula's fangs, and the girls get to "defend" themselves "with zombie eyes." Of course, if you choose to think about it all a tad deeper, you'd eventually puzzle over how zombie eyes could defend against vampire fangs. Any suggestions?

Comic Book Review: Animal Man 1 Warning From the Red

Zombos Says: Good

I'm new to Animal Man and probably wouldn't have picked up any of the issues except for DC sending me a review copy for their The New 52! reboot.  I like it. I like Jeff Lemire's story more than Travel Foreman's pencils, but there's enough like to share with both.

The use of a full-text opening page is pretty daring, but it sets the tone for the story and it's lively--written as a quick, but revealing, interview with A-Man conducted by The Believer magazine. Lemire sets up the next few pages in Buddy Baker's kitchen with his family. His wife's grumpy, his daughter Maxine wants a doggie, and A-Man--or is it just Buddy B, average guy now?--isn't sure which foot or paw to put forward until his son Cliff mentions the hostage situation at the hospital. At least it gets him out of the house.

Foreman's wispy thin lines are not a deal maker or breaker for me, they're just a little too feminine when more masculine is needed. Dare I say dainty? For chrissakes this is Animal Man where talking about. Brutish, feral, big gonad animus daddy doesn't spring to my mind through Foreman's art. He seems to have a little trouble with certain head angles, but overall the emotion in each panel does come through. Then again, the nightmare sequence, colored in greys, blacks, and reds, shrieks horror! with its primal energy. So I'll sum it by saying Foreman's style is not my cup of pencils, but it still works well to enhance the story, even if I'm thinking a Neal Adams' ruggedness-styled A-Mannish approach more appropriate. 

Lemire doesn't waste any of his 20 pages and his writing style melds with Foreman's lighter touch to produce a solid read for the first issue. The interaction between Buddy's family is earnest, real, and the doubts and concerns and needs of everyone, including Buddy, makes the storyline naturally peak to the last panel, which comes as a morbid surprise adding to a growing mystery I'd want to know more about in issue 2.

Comic Book Review: Swamp Thing # 1 Raise Dem Bones

ZC Rating 4 of 7: Very Good

Frankly, I consider DC's The New 52! reboot a brilliant, but cheesy, marketing gimmick to boost sales. It will certainly do that, but I doubted much good would come out of freshening up the staple titles that make or break the House of DC every month, so I hadn't planned on picking up any of the number one issues; until I received a review copy of Scott Snyder and Yanick Paquette's Swamp Thing in the mail. Did it hit its mark? Sure did. Will I want to continue reading it? Sure will. I think you will want to, too.

Scott Snyder writes his stories by cutting between locations, situations, and people to build his plot's events. He's been damn lucky to have artists who seem to relish all that jumping around and keep up with him, but also add to his narrative in ways--framing, angles, positions of characters--he probably didn't even think of. Snyder's a very cinematically-minded writer in how he makes his stories build, and they have a completeness between issues, with clean, integral dialog, and visually important actions capping neatly at the given page length.

You get that sense of completeness reading this first Swamp Thing issue, Raise Dem Bones. We see birds dying in Metropolis, then bats dying in Gotham, then fish dying in the ocean in the space of 3 pages, switch to a disillusioned Dr. Holland doing a construction gig in Louisiana, and then visit an archeological dig in Arizona. It's the mastodon bones in the dig in Arizona that kick things into horror gear, and the 3 men who return to the dig at night get their necks all bent out of shape with what they find. Paquette doesn't really panel his art, it just wraps around and across the pages, word ballons and narrative blocks  like a rich vine. Snyder's dialog exchange between Dr. Holland and Superman, and the narrative embellishment to scenes are just enough, just right, and meld with the artwork. Or does the artwork meld with it?

Either way, this series is off to a very good start.

Faces of Boris Karloff