Zombos' Closet

Topps Box Insert Poster Universal Monsters Illustrated

This 11x17 inch promotional mini-poster came in the shipping box for the Topps Universal Monsters Illustrated Deluxe Trading Cards (1994).

52 Famous Murderers and No Bubblegum

One of the key elements established by the modern horror film is that you don't necessarily need monsters to generate terror. Rather, very often, as the old cliche goes, the worst monsters of all are ourselves. In other words, the real-life evils of the human mind can be far more terrifying than any make-believe supernatural entity. Perhaps that's why the serial killer sub-genre has proliferated so much in recent decades. (Vault of Horror: The Lucky 13)

I left graduate school with a degree in Forensic Psychology and a notion I could pursue a career probing the depths the human mind can sink through, assisting a criminal justice system burdened by such unsavory matters. It would be a lark, providing lots of fascinating party talk and dinner chat to titillate my listeners.

My notion was first tested when I was told to wear clip-on ties while in the agitated ward of a correctional facility--so I wouldn't be strangled by any of my spontaneous charges. It was vigorously challenged when sitting across the long, narrow table from me--on one of those days you've missed the coffee cart when you really shouldn't have--was an explosively violent young man wearing a straitjacket, threatening to jump over the table and choke the life out of me before the guard could stop him. What bothered me most wasn't how casually he said it, but that I believed he had a good chance of doing it, straitjacket or not. I looked at him very carefully and said, as calmly as possible, "that wouldn't be a good idea." He agreed and smiled. I started breathing again. I wondered if that guard, now suddenly standing very far away, had his cup of java that morning.

I gave up the notion entirely after watching another inmate perform a card trick. It's the one where each card is flawlessly used in telling a story, no matter what the arrangement after shuffling. This person didn't miss a pip as he went through all fifty-two pasteboards. I was impressed. He was very personable, fairly charming, always cheerful. I became depressed afterward when I found out he had placed his infant son in the oven and turned up the heat. Way up. It was the voices in his head, I was told. They told him to do bad things. I wondered if those voices helped him with his magic tricks, too.

Another notion soon occurred to me that perhaps pursuing a career in computing would be better than wearing clip-on ties and conducting Rorschach tests with serial stalkers. It was. Still is. My conversations at social gatherings are not as titillating, but I can live with that. Which brings me to Mother Productions' 52 Famous Murderers trading card set.

I doubt anyone would seriously want to trade these like Harry Potter's Famous Wizards Cards, or flip for them in the schoolyard like we did with Baseball cards (I always lost). And no matter how you shuffle this deck of infamous serial killers, their stories are always chilling and saddening.

So it's all right to be scared: the next time you're at the movies, tucked in your seat as you stare up at that make-believe serial killer cavorting safely-distant onscreen, look around you.

You never know who may be smiling at you.

Midnight Madness Trading Cards: Robot Killer

Here is the twelve-card story for Robot Killer, from Rosem's Midnight Madness Card Set. Story is by Steve Kiviat, and illustrations by Alfredo Osorio. (Copyright 1990 by Rosem Enterprises.)

(Shroud of the Undead, Jungle Parasite, The Pharaoh's Revenge)

Click on the images for a larger view.

60's Sci-Fi & Terror TV Trading Card Set

This is a wonderful set of 50 cards, 'an educational guide for viewers,' from Funfax, copyright 1994. This series 'examines the best sci-fi and horror programs from that decade' [1960 to 1970]. Click to enlarge. You will find the information on the back of each card nostalgic and interesting, and a very good selection of unforgettable episodes.

Inkworks' The Simpsons Mania Set:Treehouse of Horror Cards

This 9-card subset from the The Simpson's Mania card set from Inkworks (copyright 2001) provides a taste of Treehouse of Horror Halloween fun from the television series. The picture on the back shows a ghostly surprise when held under black light. Click the images for a scarier view.

Doctor Who Cadbury Typhoo Card Set 1976

"Collect colorful pictures of exciting characters encountered during the timeless travels of the Tardis. There are 12 octagonal cards to collect"--from Cadbury Typhoo Limited. Copyright BBC 1976.

The Doctor certainly encounters a lot of monsters in his travels, don't you think? The card backs do not contain descriptive information for the creatures, but I've included them for completeness.

Click for galaxy-sized view.

The Munsters Dart Autograph Cards

How much longer till Halloween? Here are the Dart Flipcards, Inc. The Munsters autographed trading cards for your Munsterish delight.

I met the adorable Pat Priest at one of the Drunken Severed Head's invitation-only parties, held during a Monster Bash convention. She regaled us with funny stories of her work on The Munsters set, how she turned down a free car from Elvis, and how she threw away the show's scripts and other future hot collectibles when no longer needed. Memorabilia was not a hot topic in those days apparently. I ate at Al Lewis' restaurant called, fittingly enough, Grampa's in Greenwich Village back in 1987. I didn't notice the place until this guy sitting in front yelled "Are you hungry?" and held the door open for us, inviting us in. It was Al Lewis, chomping on a big cigar and having a ball. The Italian food was awesome, too.

Click the memories to enlarge.

 

 

Midnight Madness Trading Cards: The Surgeon

Here is the twelve card story for the series, The Surgeon, from Rosem's Midnight Madness Card Set. Story is by Steve Kiviat, and illustrations by Alfredo Osorio. (Copyright 1990 by Rosem Enterprises.)

His patients have more to complain about than their medical coverage.

(Previously: Shroud of the Undead, Jungle Parasite, The Pharaoh's Revenge, Desert Rats)

Click on the images for a larger view.

Midnight Madness Trading Cards: Desert Rats

Here is the twelve card story for my favorite one in the series, Desert Rats, from Rosem's Midnight Madness Card Set. Story is by Steve Kiviat, and illustrations by Alfredo Osorio. (Copyright 1990 by Rosem Enterprises.)

Can't you just eat it up! It is so quaintly gruesome. And look at those cute little fuzzy faces. They just gnaw at your heart, don't they?

(Previously: Shroud of the Undead, Jungle Parasite, The Pharaoh's Revenge)

Click on the images for a larger view.

Midnight Madness Trading Cards: The Pharaoh's Revenge

Here is the twelve card story for The Pharaoh's Revenge from Rosem's Midnight Madness Card Set. Story is by Steve Kiviat, and illustrations by Alfredo Osorio. (Copyright 1990 by Rosem Enterprises.)

(Previously: Shroud of the Undead, Jungle Parasite)

Click on the images for a larger view.

Midnight Madness Trading Cards: Jungle Parasite

Here is the twelve card set for Jungle Parasite from Rosem's Midnight Madness Card Set. Story is by Steve Kiviat, and illustrations by Alfredo Osorio. (Copyright 1990 by Rosem Enterprises.)

(Previously: Shroud of the Undead)

Click on the images for a larger view.

Midnight Madness Trading Cards: Shroud of the Undead

Here is the twelve card series for Shroud of the Undead from Rosem's Midnight Madness Card Set. Story is by Steve Kiviat, and illustrations by Alfredo Osorio. (Copyright 1990 by Rosem Enterprises.)

Click on the images for a larger view.

Rosem's Midnight Madness Trading Cards

I was rummaging through Zombos' closet last night and came across this set of Rosem's Midnight Madness trading cards, acquired in 1990. The box set is made up of six delectably creepy and morbid stories written by Steven Kiviat, with each illustrated by Alfredo Osorio in suitably mordant colors.

As an additional treat, the box itself opens into a wonderfully frightening pop-up cemetery scene. The six stories are Shroud of the Undead, The Surgeon, Robot Killer, Jungle Parasite, The Pharaoh's Revenge, and Desert Rats.

I will highlight the stories and cards for you later, but for now, enjoy these glimpses of a superb homage to monsterkid bubblegum-card horror.

Click the images for an eyeful.